Bad Girls with Perfect Faces. Lynn Weingarten

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       TwistedTree16:

      I just said I liked it BETTER than boring dog talk

       JakeJones1717:

      Okay fair. What do YOU want to talk about?

       TwistedTree16:

      You wrote me first. I might not want to talk about anything

       JakeJones1717:

      But you’re answering me aren’t you . . .

       TwistedTree16:

      Maybe I’M just bored

       JakeJones1717:

      Okay, good point. In another one of those worlds we are having this exact conversation, but it’s going better

       JakeJones1717:

      Can we try again?

       TwistedTree16:

      If there’s an infinite number of parallel worlds, there’s one in which you and I are already fucking

       TwistedTree16:

      oops, sorry. That was a typo

       TwistedTree16:

      I meant “dead”

       JakeJones1717:

      I think you probably meant *in love*

       July 22 10:13 a.m.

       JakeJones1717:

      In how many of the parallel worlds am I as hungover as I am in this one, do you think? Serious question

       TwistedTree16:

      Maybe like 4

       JakeJones1717

      Oh god . . . that’s not many if we’re talking about infinity. Though it is impossible to imagine anyone more hungover than I am right now . . . so maybe 4 is good?

       TwistedTree16:

      If it makes you feel any better, in like 6 you just died of alcohol poisoning

       JakeJones1717:

      Dark. At least those other Jakes are out of their misery

       TwistedTree16:

      Parallel worlds are no kinder than this one

       JakeJones1717:

      I’m going to go try and flush my own head down the toilet now

       TwistedTree16:

      Are you trying to talk dirty to me?

       TwistedTree16:

      But really . . . let me know how it goes. Most people who show up in my DMs are dumb boring idiots. You seem fun

       JakeJones1717:

      Awww, are you flirting with me, Twisted?

       TwistedTree16:

      Well I’m not NOT not not NOT NOT not not flirting with you. If you see what I’m saying

       JakeJones1717:

      Oh god. That is really confusing

       JakeJones1717:

      Hey . . . so I don’t mean to be presumptuous or anything, but can I have your number? Maybe I’ll text you sometime . . . and when I do I WILL be flirting

       TwistedTree16:

      _ _ _ -_ _ _ - _ _ _ _

       JakeJones1717:

      What’s that?

       TwistedTree16:

      Have you ever played hangman?

       JakeJones1717:

      Yeah . . .

       TwistedTree16:

      That’s hangman for my phone number, if you guess it, you can text me . . .

       JakeJones1717:

      Are there any A’s?

       TwistedTree16:

      It’s a phone NUMBER?

       JakeJones1717:

      I stand by my question . . .

       JakeJones1717:

      *s??

       TwistedTree16:

      Oh my god. Okay. 914-555-7278. That either IS or IS NOT my phone number. Text it and find out