The Fintastic Diary of Darcy Dolphin. Sam Watkins

Mum never buys enough Jiggling Jellies, so I helped her by putting every bag on the shelf into the basket. Weirdly, Mum didn’t seem to find that very helpful.

      5 pm: Made dinner. I did fish fingers and mushy seaweed with Jiggling Jellies on top. Dad said he wasn’t hungry, but I think he was impressed with my creative cookery skills.

      6 pm: Washed up. Broke one or maybe several things. Well, we didn’t need all those dishes, anyway. Dad’s always moaning that there’s too much washing up.

      After dinner I said I would make Mum a nice cup of sea. She squeaked.

      ‘NO! I mean, no thank you, Darcy.’

      I was a bit hurt. ‘But Mum . . . I thought if I was really helpful you might let me . . . um . . . have a pet?’

      ‘A pet? I said yesterday –’

      ‘Please? I’ll be really good! I’ll help all week! I’ll make dinner every day and I’ll do the washing . . . and the ironing . . . and . . .’

      Mum’s fins started twitching. ‘OKAY! Okay – you can get a pet. A small one. Just, please, that’s enough helping for today, Darcy!’

      Dad looked as if he wanted to say something, but he had a mouthful of prawnflakes (weird – I thought he said he wasn’t hungry?). But it didn’t matter, because Mum said yes! Now I can’t sleep again – thinking about all the adventures I’m going to have with my new pet!

      Feeling of the Day: ECSTATIC.

      WHALESDAY

      Mum said she would take me to the pet shop after school, so I spent all day trying to decide what pet to get.

      In Science, Miss Carp showed us a video about human fry (you humans call them ‘children’ I think). They’re soooo cute! Afterwards we had to fill in a factsheet about what we’d learned. Here’s mine . . .

      HUMAN FRY – FACTSHEET

       Diet:

      Mainly ice cream and sand.

       Appearance:

      Have loads of very thin tentacles on their heads. Some have coloured rings of blubber around their bellies to help them float:

       Habitat:

      Beaches or boats.

       Communication:

      Make a lot of noise, but do not click or whistle like dolphins do. If a human fry drops an ice cream it makes a high-pitched squealing sound.

      Then I had another brainwave – I could get a human for a pet! I put my fin up. Miss Carp looked at me. She likes us to ask good questions.

      ‘Yes, Darcy?’

      ‘Would a human make a good pet?’ I asked.

      Everyone laughed. Miss Carp gave me her ‘I Am Not Amused’ look and said that looking after a pet was a ‘Serious Matter’, and not to be ‘Taken Lightly’.

      Hmmph – I am not taking it lightly! To prove this, I went to the school library at lunchtime and got a book called THE PERFECT PET. It’s all about pets and how to look after them. There’s nothing about humans in it though.

      After school, Mum took me to Pollock’s Pet Shop. Mr Pollock was there, feeding the sea horses. He smiled at me. ‘So you’re after a pet, eh? What sort were we thinking?’

      ‘Something easy to look after, please,’ Mum said, before I could speak.

      ‘Easy, eh? Well, we’ve got some nice sea urchins.’

      Mum was quite keen on the sea urchins until one spiked her on the nose.

      ‘No, thank you,’ she said.

      ‘Do you have any humans?’ I asked. For some reason Mr Pollock and Mum roared with laughter.

      ‘How about a sea cucumber?’ Mr Pollock said, fishing one out of a tank.

      ‘Ooh – it could be friends with Cuke!’ I said. As Mr Pollock handed it to Mum, it squirted a cloud of disgusting white goo all over her.

      ‘Eurrrgh!’ she said. ‘Definitely not!’

      When I picked up a starfish one of its legs fell off. Mr Pollock said that was normal. But I don’t want a pet whose legs keep dropping off !

      I can’t believe it is this difficult to find a pet – and Pets Factor is only three days away! Where oh where can my perfect pet be?!

      Feeling of the Day: FRUSTRATED.