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First published in the United States of America by Viking, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 2017
This edition published in 2019
By Egmont UK Limited
The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN
Text copyright © 2017 Max Brallier
Illustrations copyright © 2017 Douglas Holgate
The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted.
First e-book edition 2019
ISBN 978 1 4052 9511 6
Ebook ISBN 978 1 7803 1819 6
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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For Chewy – always and forever ready for adventure. Catch you on the flip-flop, good buddy.
– M. B.
For Scott, Ainslie, and Reuben
– D. H.
Contents
chapter six
chapter seven
chapter eight
chapter nine
chapter ten
chapter eleven
chapter twelve
chapter thirteen
chapter fourteen
chapter fifteen
chapter sixteen
chapter seventeen
chapter eighteen
chapter nineteen
chapter twenty
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Want to know what the most fantastically radical game ever is?
I can tell you.
It’s Real-Life Super Mario Kart.
And we’re playing it right now.
My best buddies – Quint, June, and Dirk – are racing through town in post-apocalyptic vehicles of awesomeness: souped-up bumper cars that we call BoomKarts.
Dirk built the BoomKarts, and Quint loaded ’em up with wicked vehicular combat coolness: paintball blasters, defensive marble spillers, spiked tyres, gas-powered slingshots – the works.
But me, Jack Sullivan? I don’t need a BoomKart because I race atop my awesome monster-dog, Rover.
There’s a reason for this game of Real-Life Super Mario Kart. I noticed that the energy and enthusiasm levels of my buddies were a little low. I mean, I was having trouble distinguishing them from the zombies . . .
So I was like, ‘WE NEED EXCITEMENT! And what’s more exciting than building an epic go-kart course with jumps, oil slicks, and a spinning speedway through creepy old man Aiken’s house?’
That’s one of the perks of life after the Monster Apocalypse – you can build giant Mario Kart-style tracks through your hometown.
Right now, June’s winning, and I must take her out! She’s claimed first place three races in a row! I yank my T-shirt cannon from Rover’s saddlebag and . . .
Direct hit! June’s kart slices around the corner, spins, then slams into the local fire station.
‘Don’t mess with the king!’ I shout. Rover woofs triumphantly as we stampede into first place. But I throw a glance behind me and see June’s BoomKart is all busted up.
Crud. The idea is to win, not to knock your buddies unconscious! I know a good amount about buddies, ’cause I have the best buddies, and I’m quite sure they don’t like being knocked out.
I tug on Rover’s reins and he turns. ‘June, you OK?’ I begin to call out, but then –
THWACK!