‘Wait!’ I shouted at the Astro Blast Simulator. ‘I need to put my seat belt on!’ TUBS always listens to the Space Blasters when they yell at it.
The Astro Blast Simulator did NOT listen to me.
‘Two . . . one . . . BLAST-OFF !’
And blast-off it did.
I finally understood what Spaceman Jack meant when he said blast-off felt like being an egg scrambled in a hot frying pan. The whole thing was shaking so hard I thought my head was going to fly off.
AND THEN IT STARTED SMOKING.
I coughed; I couldn’t breathe; I bravely yelled for someone to make it stop, but it kept shaking!
And then I took matters into my own hands. I banged on the side of the walls. I kicked. I shouted, ‘I command you to stop, Astro Blast Simulator!’ as loud as I could. But it didn’t. It was out of control!
It was just like when Captain Jane’s worst enemy, the Ghost King, took over TUBS. I tried to think what Spaceman Jack would do but all I could think was:
I’M GOING TO DIE.
And then:
OH NO, WHY DID I START THINKING ABOUT THE GHOST KING?
The Ghost King is the scariest thing in the entire universe. Even Captain Jane and Spaceman Jack are afraid of him. I like to think he’s my greatest fear because I’m a born spaceman. And ANYONE with a brain would be afraid of the Ghost King.
And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, THE FACE OF THE GHOST KING APPEARED IN THE SMOKE. HE WAS COMING TO GET ME.
Goodbye, world . . .
And then there was light. The Ghost King must have got me. At least I died a brave death.
‘Sam Wu! What are you doing?’
I blinked up into the light. The voice sounded angrier than a heavenly angel would. It actually sounded a lot like Ms Winkleworth.
‘Sam! Get out of there, right now!’
I rubbed my eyes. It WAS Ms Winkleworth! I wasn’t dead! I had survived, AND I had somehow defeated the Ghost King. And I was NOT afraid! I crawled out of the Astro Blast Simulator and stood proudly in front of everyone.
I was expecting applause.
I wasn’t expecting what happened next.
A shocked silence.
And then . . .
And rising above the laughter, Ralph’s voice . . .
I looked down.
It was true.
You should know that Spaceman Jack has never, ever peed his pants.
So. There it is. Don’t ask me any questions about it. We’ll never speak of it again.
But then I had to prove that I WASN’T a scaredy-cat. (And hope that I had banished the Ghost King for good.)
After the INCIDENT, I knew I could never show my face at school again. Just like when Five-Eyed Frank got framed for an evil crime on his home planet and had to blast-off to a faraway moon.
As I’m sure you’ve gathered, unlike the SPACE BLASTERS, I don’t fly spaceships so I didn’t have the faraway moon option. Instead, I took off on my version of an intergalactic travel machine: Two-Wheel TUBS. (I named my bike after the SPACE BLASTERS’ spaceship: TUBS, which stands for ‘The Universe’s Best Spaceship’. I added the ‘Two-Wheel’ so people would know it was a bike.)
I didn’t know where I was going, but I just had to get out of town and escape the name ‘Scaredy-Cat Sam’. I would have a brave adventure. And I would have to do it while Na-Na was napping and before my mum and dad got home from work.
So I packed a bag with everything I’d need for my new life on the run:
I didn’t want my family to worry, so I left them a note.
Dear Mum, Dad, Na-Na, Lucy and Butterbutt,
I’m very sorry, but the time has come for me to blast-off to the far beyond for a brave adventure, and to make a new name for myself. You’ll probably never see me again. Don’t believe any rumours you hear about me.
Mum, it was me who broke your favourite vase, not Butterbutt.
Dad, please stop doing the hokey-cokey at family parties.
Na-Na, sorry I won’t be there to help you weed the garden.
Lucy, help Na-Na weed the garden. And don’t let Butterbutt in my room.
Love,
Spaceman Sam
PS Watch out for the Ghost King. He’s tricky – I know from experience.
It was almost a clean escape. But then my little sister Lucy came into the kitchen just as I was putting the rice in my backpack. She was holding Butterbutt (who was looking especially evil).
‘Sam,’ she said, stroking Butterbutt, ‘why are you putting a bag of rice in your backpack?’
‘None of your business!’ I said, without making eye contact with her.
She put down Butterbutt and started poking through my backpack. Butterbutt began attacking my ankles. I was definitely NOT going to miss him.
‘What are you doing with Mum’s hairspray?’ said Lucy.
‘That’s NOT hairspray, it’s poison mist for me to use on my enemies. And put it back.’
‘You