Dad’s trashed your room, but they haven’t found any drugs yet. And they didn’t find any in your locker, and I’m guessing they didn’t find any in the car or I would’ve heard about it. So right now, it’s all okay.”
“I’m telling you, there aren’t any drugs. I used the weed up this morning. That’s why I needed more from Josh.”
“Josh, your former best friend.”
“What are you talking about? I haven’t been friends with him since we were, like, eight.”
I am sensing that this was the last time Owen had a best friend.
“Let’s go,” I tell him. “It’s not the end of the world.”
“Easy for you to say.”
I am not expecting our father to hit Owen. But as soon as he sees him in the house, he decks him.
I think I am the only one who is truly stunned.
“What have you done?” my father is yelling. “What stupid, stupid thing have you done?”
Both my mother and I move to stand between them. Grandma just watches from the sidelines, looking mildly pleased.
“I haven’t done anything!” Owen protests.
“Is that why you ran away? Is that why you are being expelled? Because you haven’t done anything?”
“They won’t expel him until they hear his side of the story,” I point out, fairly sure this is true.
“Stay out of this!” my father warns.
“Why don’t we all sit down and talk this over?” my mother suggests.
The anger rises off my father like heat. I feel myself receding in a way that I’m guessing is not unusual for Leslie when she’s with her family.
It is during moments like this that I become nostalgic for that first waking moment of the morning, back before I had any idea what ugliness the day would bring.
We sit down this time in the den. Or, rather, Owen, our mother and I sit down – Owen and me on the couch, our mother in a nearby chair. Our father hovers over us. Our grandmother stays in the doorway, as if she’s keeping lookout.
“You are a drug dealer !” our father yells.
“I am not a drug dealer,” Owen answers. “For one, if I were a drug dealer, I’d have a lot more money. And I’d have a stash of drugs that you would’ve found by now!”
Owen, I think, needs to shut up.
“Josh Wolf was the drug dealer,” I volunteer. “Not Owen.”
“So what was your brother doing – buying from him ?”
Maybe, I think, I’m the one who needs to shut up.
“Our fight had nothing to do with drugs,” Owen says. “They just found them on him afterward.”
“Then what were you and Josh fighting about?” our mother asks, as if the fact that these two boyhood chums fought is the most unbelievable thing that’s occurred.
“A girl,” Owen says. “We were fighting about a girl.”
I wonder if Owen thought this one out ahead of time, or whether it’s come to him spontaneously. Whatever the case, it’s probably the only thing he could have possibly said that would have made our parents momentarily . . . happy might be overstating it. But less angry. They don’t want their son to be buying or selling drugs, being bullied or bullying anyone else. But fighting over a girl? Perfectly acceptable. Especially since, I’m guessing, it’s not like Owen’s ever mentioned a girl to them before.
Owen sees he’s gained ground. He pushes further. “If she found out – oh God, she can’t find out. I know some girls like it when you fight over them, but she definitely doesn’t.”
Mom nods her approval.
“What’s her name?” Dad asks.
“Do I have to tell you?”
“Yes.”
“Natasha. Natasha Lee.”
Wow, he’s even made her Chinese. Amazing.
“Do you know this girl?” Dad asks me.
“Yes,” I say. “She’s awesome.” Then I turn to Owen and shoot him fake daggers. “But Romeo over here never told me he was into her. Although now that he says it, it’s starting to make sense. He has been acting very weird lately.”
Mom nods again. “He has.”
Eyes bloodshot, I want to say. Eating a lot of Cheetos. Staring into space. Eating more Cheetos. It must be love. What else could it possibly be?
What was threatening to be an all-out war becomes a war council, with our parents strategizing what the principal can be told, especially about the running away. I hope for Owen’s sake that Natasha Lee is in fact a student at the high school, whether he has a crush on her or not. I can’t access any memory of her. If the name rings a bell, the bell’s in a vacuum.
Now that our father can see a way of saving face, he’s almost amiable. Owen’s big punishment is that he has to go clean up his room before dinner.
I can’t imagine I would have gotten the same reaction if I’d beaten up another girl over a boy.
I follow Owen up to his room. When we’re safely inside, door closed, no parents around, I tell him, “That was kinda brilliant.”
He looks at me with unconcealed annoyance and says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Get out of my room.”
This is why I prefer to be an only child.
I have a sense that Leslie would let it go. So I should let it go. That’s the law I’ve set down for myself – don’t disrupt the life you’re living in. Leave it as close to the same as you can.
But I’m pissed. So I diverge a little from the law. I think, perversely, that Rhiannon would want me to. Even though she has no idea who Owen or Leslie are. Or who I am.
“Look,” I say, “you lying little pothead bitch. You are going to be nice to me, okay? Not only because I am covering your butt, but because I am the one person in the world right now who is being decent to you. Is that understood?”
Shocked, and maybe a little contrite, Owen mumbles his assent.
“Good,” I say, knocking a few things off his shelves. “Now happy cleaning.”
Nobody talks at dinner.
I don’t think this is unusual.
I wait until everyone is asleep before I go on the computer. I retrieve Justin’s email and password from my own email, then log in as him.
There’s an email from Rhiannon, sent at 10:11p.m.
J –
i just don’t understand. was it something I did? yesterday was so perfect, and today you are mad at me again. if it’s something I did, please tell me, and I’ll fix it. I want us to be together. I want all our days to end on a nice note. not like tonight.
with all my heart,
r
I reel back in my seat. I want to hit reply, I want to reassure her that it will be better – but I can’t. You’re not him anymore, I have to remind myself. You’re not there.
And then I think: What have I done?
I hear Owen moving around in his room. Hiding evidence? Or is fear keeping him awake?
I wonder if he’ll be able to pull it off tomorrow.
There’s no way for me to