Didn’t want to be.
Bree listened briefly to more lambasting from Mr. Grant, again gave him the same answer and smile, then moved on to the nurses’ desk to go over some patient charts. “Is neuro on the way to check on the possible stroke in twenty-eight?”
“Yes. And I have transport coming to take your teen broken leg to X-ray, and your elderly patient who fell and hit her head down for her MRI.”
“Good.” Bree glanced at her watch. Her shift was over in less than an hour, and while, normally, she’d hang around awhile to make sure the transition to the next doc went smoothly, tonight she didn’t have that luxury. Sean would have to leave for work pretty much the minute she arrived to take over with Will, so if she was going to see Emma, it had to happen now while she had this brief lull.
“I’m going to the ICU for a short time. Page me if you need me.” Between staying at Sean’s to watch the baby if he got called in to surgery and her own twelve-hour shift, Bree hadn’t seen Emma for twenty-four hours and was anxious to find out how she was doing. It didn’t matter that she knew she’d have heard if anything bad had happened. She had to see for herself.
As she made her way through the hospital corridors, a strange anxiety rolled around in Bree’s stomach, which she’d never experienced much of in her life. Yes, there’d been anxiety before tests in medical school, and nerves when facing a big wave in a surfing competition, or a tennis opponent in a big college match. But none of that had felt like this.
A little jittery and a lot nervous. Plenty of it was from worry about Emma, she knew. But the rest?
From having to spend time with Sean, and the tumble of mixed emotions it stirred up, welcome and unwelcome at the same time.
Walking along the bike path by the beautiful bay she loved always calmed and relaxed her. Walking with Sean and the baby in the stroller yesterday? That had been beyond peculiar. Calming and nerve-racking. Peaceful and turbulent. In some ways, it had felt just like the many times they’d spent meandering around the bay, and more than once she’d nearly reached to hold his hand. Just in time, she’d remember they weren’t lovers, barely friends, even, which had thrown aside any and all tranquillity and left her stomach in knots.
She drew in a long breath. It would be okay. Sean’s mother would be there soon, and Bree could step out of the picture, focus on packing for Hawaii and move on with her life. Her relationship with Sean would fade to a distant memory. Until then, she’d take her babysitting shift when he wasn’t around, and keep contact between them to a minimum. These uncomfortable jitters would leave and her life would ease into a new normal.
Her stomach tightened as she approached Emma’s room, wondering what her condition would be. Even the smallest improvement would be wonderful, and she hoped and prayed Emma would be awake and Bree could ask how she was feeling. Could tell her how her baby boy was doing just fine. And was it selfish of her to hope that even a small conversation might help lighten the heavy guilt and discomfort in her own chest?
But the sight of Emma’s bruised and battered body, with her arm in a cast and her body still hooked up to everything it could possibly be hooked up to, added to that weight instead. Yes, she saw patients looking like this all the time, but a friend? Emma, who as far as she knew had barely been awake enough after her surgeries to spend more than a short time with her newborn baby?
No, she hadn’t had to go through any of this before, and prayed she never would again. At least Sean believed there hadn’t been anything she could have done differently to avoid the accident. The thought gave her more comfort than it should since she found it impossible not to wonder at least a little.
But it had happened, and it was over. Like her relationship with Sean. She had no choice but to move on from both of those painful realities.
“Hey there.” She gently brushed Emma’s hair back from her forehead, and stupid tears stung her eyes again when Emma’s eyes slowly opened and met hers. Since when had she become such a crybaby? “How you feeling?”
“Like I was hit by a truck.” Her words were a little hoarse from the breathing tube she’d had down her throat that first day, but Bree could still make them out. “Oh, wait. I really was.”
Emma’s lips curved and her brown eyes twinkled, and Bree blinked back another spurt of tears. Tears of relief and admiration. It was just like Emma, free-spirited, indomitable Emma, to be able to joke in spite of all the pain and misery she was having to endure.
“Yeah.” Bree slowly lowered herself to perch on the side of the bed, making sure she didn’t jar Emma. “But you, Iron Woman, made it through. And so did your little Iron Boy. He’s doing great.”
“Sean told me. That you’re helping, too.” Emma’s hand, purple and black with bruises, slowly reached to cover Bree’s. “Thank you. I know you have packing and other stuff to do, getting ready for your competition and new job. Plus you’re not a baby person, and all that with having to see Sean, too...well... I know that’s got to be hard.”
“He’s such a cutie. Will, I mean.” Needed to be clear on that, since she was pretty sure she’d said those same words to Emma about her brother at some time in the past. “I’m more than happy to be taking care of him.”
“The NICU nurse brought him in a few times while he was still in the hospital. I don’t remember it all that well, you know? I’m so anxious to see him again.”
“I’ll figure out how to get him here for a visit, okay?” Bree patted her hand. “How’s the pain? Are you getting enough relief, or should I ask your doctor to adjust the meds?”
“The meds are pretty good, but I’m not going to lie. Everything hurts, especially when I breathe. Ribs are killing me.” The brown eyes meeting hers were deeply serious now. “Actually, no. Not killing me. I’m still alive, and so grateful for that. If you hadn’t seen that truck barreling toward us and swerved when you did, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be here at all. Saying thanks for all you did for me after the accident and at the hospital, and now for Will, isn’t near enough and I can never repay you for it. But I hope you know how much I appreciate everything.”
“No repayments or appreciation necessary, and you know it.” Emma’s words loosened the bands of guilt Bree hadn’t even realized had wound painfully tight ever since the accident. She wished she could give her friend a hug as overwhelming gratitude filled her own chest that they both were still here, but hugs would have to wait for a while. “I’m finishing my shift, then heading to Sean’s to take my babysitting shift. I’ll check on you when—”
“Knock-knock.”
Heart jolting in her chest, Bree swung around, beyond surprised to hear Sean’s voice. Also surprised to see Will tucked into his arm, though she shouldn’t have been. It wasn’t as though he’d leave the child alone, or get another sitter without telling her.
She let herself take in the sight of him, tall and a little disheveled, still sporting yesterday’s five o’clock shadow that had darkened through today. Apparently taking care of Will and shaving couldn’t happen at the same time, and she had to smile a little, remembering their struggles.
His lips curved, too, as his eyes met hers, lingered, then moved to his sister as he walked toward the bed. Bree stood to step aside and give him space. Or herself space, if she was honest, because she wanted to reach for him and hold him and kiss the tension from his face. Maybe someone who didn’t know him would think his wide smile was carefree and happy, but the strain around his eyes and lips was obvious to Bree.
“How’s my favorite sister?” He crouched down, holding Will at bed height. “I brought you a get-well present.”
“Oh, Sean.” Emma’s eyes lit as she lifted her hand to touch Will’s tiny socked foot. A foot Bree knew had been none too easy to cover, and she inwardly chuckled at Sean’s comparing dressing the boy to putting socks on a clam. “I was so drugged up last time, I hardly remember holding him. He’s...he’s so beautiful.”