damp from her tears. “That was the thing. Mom never picked jerks we could only pray would take off sooner rather than later. They were all nice men we hoped would stay, even though deep down I knew they wouldn’t.”
“There were seven?”
“Seven she married.”
Which meant there were more she hadn’t.
He couldn’t imagine what it would be like for a little girl to have a revolving door of father figures passing through her life that way, or how her mother could have let it go on. But he knew all about women who couldn’t control their hearts—even for the sake of their children. Even for the sake of themselves. At least Megan’s mother had been resilient enough to bounce back. Move on.
“When she brought Pete home, I barely even spoke to him. It was terrible, but I think it had only been a couple of months since the one before had left, and I didn’t want to—care, I guess. Only, Pete was sort of relentless. He wanted to win me over—do everything to make this new family work. So he told jokes and stories. Took me fishing. Talked to me and actually listened to what I said. He made me feel...special. Like I was more than just the kid who came with the woman he’d married. Like I was his friend too. Thinking back on it now, though, I wonder if maybe it wasn’t more a case of me being the perfect project for finding common ground with a wife with whom he otherwise didn’t share much.”
Connor tightened his hold around Megan’s shoulders, giving her whatever time she needed to go on.
“When he left I thought it would be...different. I thought he might stop back so he could say goodbye to me. Maybe call to tell me he missed me or that he was sorry he had to go. But he didn’t and I figured it was because of my mom’s rule about severing ties. Still, he’d said he loved me, so I kept waiting and hoping. And maybe I never stopped, because when I saw him at the store this afternoon, I was so— Oh, God, Connor, I was such a fool.”
“No, Megan. Not you.” That she even thought so— Connor silently cursed this Pete and Megan’s mother both for what they’d put her through. For not recognizing the impact their careless actions would have. The guy told Megan he loved her. He made her believe it and then walked away. A little girl whose tender heart had already been bruised time and again.
And the worst of it—the part that churned in Connor’s gut—was the knowledge that in no small way, he owed Gloria Scott and this string of faithless men a debt of gratitude. If their repeated abuse hadn’t broken her ability to trust in love enough to surrender to it, this woman never would have settled for this partnership he had to offer her. She’d have found someone years ago to love her the way she deserved and they’d be married with a half-dozen kids in tow.
He might not be able to give her a storybook romance with love everlasting, but he’d make damn sure she had everything else. He’d be constant. The man she could count on. They’d get past this trial, and time would show her. She’d see.
* * *
Megan woke on a gasp, her eyes flying wide as she jolted upright. She scanned the empty bed and room around her. Tried to get a hold on the reality that was now, even as the nightmare she’d been fleeing pressed at her mind.
She’d been running, lost in the kind of fog only the dreamworld could conjure. Searching for Connor, knowing it was a mistake, but unable to stop herself.
And then he was there. His arms warm around her, his hushed nonsense a confusing comfort at her ear.
She looked up to ask him what he meant, and it was Pete’s face speaking with Connor’s voice. “Don’t worry, I’m going to win you over.”
Desperately she looked around and, again finding Connor across the void, called out to him.
He smiled, the lines at the corners of his eyes etching deeper as she watched. “I don’t remember you.”
Throwing back the covers, she pushed the nightmare away. Told herself it was just her head processing the mess yesterday had been. Except instead of settling down, the panic she’d experienced in her sleep was on the rise.
She needed to find Connor. Needed to—
“Hey, you’re awake.”
She spun toward the door where he’d come to stop with that same casual arm slung up around the top of the frame. Jeans and a soft T-shirt tempted her with hints of the powerful body hidden beneath. But it was the ever-elusive half smile that held her, making her feel the coming loss deep in the center of her chest.
She swallowed, watching as Connor’s easy posture went straight and the smile slid away with all the warmth that had been in his eyes.
His voice was hard when he spoke. “No.”
“Connor, I’m sorry.” Wringing her hands, she took a tentative step in his direction. “I can’t do this.”
“Bull,” he fired back, the spark of temper igniting his outrage so completely it was as though the tinder had been set, waiting in place. “You haven’t even tried!”
“That’s not true. I have. I’ve been trying for a month. But it’s no use. I’m not settling into a life I feel like I can keep. I don’t—” She broke off, shifting her gaze from the accusation in his.
God, she didn’t want him looking at her that way...she didn’t want to deserve it.
“You don’t what, Megan? If this is it, then let’s just own it all. Say it.”
Fists balling at her sides, she fought back the pain rising in her chest and did as he asked. “I don’t trust you.”
“Of course not. I’ve been honest, up-front and straightforward with you from the word go.” Connor pushed off the wall, raking a savage hand through his hair. “Yeah, I wouldn’t trust me either.”
Megan watched in despair as he stormed from one end of the room to the other and back, his outrage blasting her like gale-force winds.
“It’s not you,” she swore. “It’s me.”
Shooting her a condemning look, he let out a harsh laugh. “Is that so? Not a single thing I could do, huh?”
“No.” He’d already done too much. Been too perfect. Too perfect to believe he was real.
Connor crossed his arms and stared down at her. “You never wanted to be convinced. From the start you’ve been looking for any excuse you can find to justify walking away before you had to risk...anything.”
Her mouth dropped open. It wasn’t true. She just—she—
She was suddenly angry. Really angry.
At herself. At Connor. At Pete and her mother and every event that had brought her to this horrible moment.
“How am I supposed to risk everything on someone who isn’t real!”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You don’t react to anything, Connor! You don’t get mad. You don’t get frustrated. No matter what I throw at you, no matter what I say, it’s like all you’re focused on is the goal at the finish line. Secure the wife and nothing else matters. I never see anything but your unflappable calm and easy charm. You’re always so reasonable. Always with the rational approach. The perfect solution to any problem. And it’s impossible to believe, because no one is that perfect, Connor. That’s why I can’t trust you. That’s why I have to leave!”
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