ANXIETY AND DRIVING WHILE BLACK
All parents of teenagers who are learning to drive are anxious. If you’ve ever been in the car with a brand-new driver, you understand what we’re talking about. When the teen finally gets a license, the fear persists for some months. Will my daughter remember to stop at stop signs or make a turn without crashing into the curb? Will my son speed or try to show off while driving with his friends?
But if you are a parent of a Black teen driver (especially males), your worries multiply. Will my son be pulled over and know exactly what to say and do? What do I tell him to help him stay safe? Though it isn’t fair or reasonable, parents of Black teens have to give “the talk.” Usually the talk contains a few important elements that are useful for most people who get pulled over, but essential for persons of color. Here are a few items that usually get covered in the talk:
While the officer approaches the car, roll down the window, turn off the ignition, and place your hands at the top of the steering wheel.
Don’t move your hands unless instructed to do so.
When asked for license and registration, move slowly and tell the officer what you are doing, especially if you need to access the glove compartment.
Be polite and cooperate.
Do what the officer asks.
It’s not a good idea to argue or be defensive.
Do not run or resist arrest.
Don’t make statements about what did or did not happen until you can talk to an attorney.
Again, it’s unfair that people of color must take greater care during police encounters than others. But statistics tell us that persons of color have a greater chance of being hurt or killed at a traffic stop. This is a time when a good dose of anxiety may save a life.
It lasts uncomfortably long or occurs too often. For example, if you have disturbing levels of anxiety most days for more than a few weeks, you have reason for concern.
It interferes with doing what you want to do. Thus, if anxiety wakes you up at night, causes you to make mistakes at work, or keeps you from going where you want to go, it’s getting in the way.
It exceeds the level of actual danger or risk. For example, if your body and mind feel like an avalanche is about to bury you but all you’re doing is taking a test for school, your anxiety has gone too far.
You struggle to control your worries, but they keep on coming. Even when you’re relaxing at the beach or on your most comfortable recliner, anxious thoughts continually run through your mind.
What Anxiety Looks Like
Anxiety comes in various forms. The word “anxious” is a derivative of the Latin word angere, meaning to strangle or choke. A sense of choking or tightening in the throat or chest is a common symptom of anxiety. However, anxiety also involves other symptoms, such as sweating, trembling, nausea, and a racing heartbeat. Anxiety may also involve fears — fear of losing control and fear of illness or dying. In addition, people with excessive anxiety avoid various situations, people, animals, or objects to an unnecessary degree.
Anxious people tend to be extremely sensitive to danger, rejection, the unknown, and uncertainty. They may pay close attention to unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. They also often dwell on the possibility of future calamities. Anxiety symptoms such as these have a tendency to cluster together. The following sections describe some of these major clusters.
Worrywarts
Most people have heard of the term “worrywart” and immediately conjure up someone who constantly worries. Worrywarts have a chronic state of tension and worry. They often report feeling restless, on edge, and keyed up. They may tire easily and have trouble concentrating or falling asleep. Once asleep, they may wake up at 3 a.m. with racing, worried thoughts. Worriers also often report having achy muscles, especially in the back, shoulders, or neck.
Not everyone experiences chronic worries in exactly the same way. Some worriers complain about other problems — such as twitching, trembling, shortness of breath, sweating, dry mouth, stomach upset, feeling shaky, being easily startled, and having difficulty swallowing. No matter how you experience worry, if it’s keeping you from living life the way you want to, it’s a problem.
The following profile offers an example of what excessive worry looks like.
In a subway, Brian taps his foot nervously. He slept only a few hours last night, tossing, turning, and ruminating about the economy. He’s sure that he’s next in line to lose his job. Even though his boss says that he’s safe, Brian can’t stop worrying. He believes that he may end up broke and homeless.
His back is killing him; he shrugs his shoulders trying to loosen up his tight muscles. He struggles to concentrate on the blog that he’s looking at and realizes that he can’t remember what he just read. He notices his shirt feels damp. He thinks he might be sick. He is sick — with worry.
Brian has worked steadily at the same company since graduating from college six years ago. His work is highly technical. Most of the senior executives depend on his technology know-how. He has stashed away a nice amount of money for emergencies. Nevertheless, his anxiety has increased over the last year to the point that he notices that he’s making mistakes. He can’t think; he feels horrible and is in a constant state of distress.
The economy can make anyone anxious at times. But Brian’s worries appear to be out of proportion to his real situation. It seems unlikely that he’s in danger of losing his job. However, his extreme anxiety may, in fact, cause him to get in trouble at work. People with overwhelming anxiety often make careless mistakes because of problems with attention and concentration.
Avoiding people
People who are socially phobic fear exposure to public scrutiny. These people dread performing, speaking, going to parties, meeting new people, entering groups, using the telephone, writing a check in front of others, eating in public, and/or interacting with those in authority. They see these situations as painful because they expect to receive humiliating or shameful judgments from others.
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