Loree Lough

Saving Alyssa


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a therapist.”

      Troy reached across the space between them and squeezed her hand. “I’m glad you’re doing well. You had us worried there for a while.”

      “Us. What a laugh. I know the rest of the family meant well, but you were the only one who was really there for me after Chuck dumped me.” She returned the squeeze. “And whether you like it or not, I intend to be there for you, too.”

      “I’m countin’ on it.” He leaned back, crossed one ankle over the other. “So are you seeing anybody?”

      “Between the web design business and cycling, there isn’t time for stuff like that,” she answered. “Besides, I’m not exactly girlfriend material.”

      “Yet.”

      Billie only shrugged. Thankfully, he hadn’t quoted their parents: “It’s been two years, Billie. You need to get hold of yourself. Put Chuck in the past and move forward with your life.”

      She had moved forward. New home, new job, new friends and hobbies. But she was far from ready to consider a new man in her life.

      Troy stared up at the sky. “Yeah, this is great, all right.”

      His stomach rumbled, and he explained, “Like I said, I left in a hurry.”

      “What say I make us each a sandwich?”

      Inside, he sat at the bar counter as she assembled the ingredients. “It’s almost as if you knew I was coming,” he noted.

      “Don’t flatter yourself. Ham and Swiss on rye toast is my favorite sandwich, too, remember.”

      They ate in a comfortable silence.

      Billie thought of how their parents didn’t seem to have any trouble airing their grievances. Clearly, it was a trait she and Troy hadn’t inherited. He rarely talked about his overseas assignments, and even when he did, the discussions were tip of the iceberg, at best. Except for that night several months after the stillbirth, when he’d come to make sure she was all right. It had been the two-year anniversary of the roadside bomb that had wiped out all but four men in his unit.

      “So how’s the website business?”

      “I’m doing well enough to keep the wolf from the door.”

      “I didn’t see the Cannondale anywhere around,” he said. “Did you wreck it in the accident?”

      “It’s a little scratched and dented, but not totaled.” She remembered all the repairs Noah had told her he’d make. “The guy at the bike shop might need to order parts, but,” she said, pointing at the ankle, “I’m not going anywhere for a while, anyway. From the way he talked, it didn’t sound expensive. At least, I hope it won’t be. I hate to dip into the savings I’ve squirreled away for real emergencies.”

      “Real emergencies?”

      “The furnace is on its last legs, and so’s the water heater. And in a year or two, I’ll probably need a new roof.”

      “Sounds like you’re planning to make Ellicott City your permanent home.”

      Billie shrugged. “I guess I am.” She looked around at the mismatched flea market lamps she’d rewired, the cushiony sofa she’d reupholstered, the glass-topped coffee table she’d made from an old wire spool. Billie didn’t even care that “shabby chic” wasn’t chic anymore, because piece by piece, she’d rebuilt her life, just as she’d rebuilt the bar counter in the kitchen.

      “Mom won’t be happy to hear you’re not coming home. She figured you would...eventually.”

      “Soon as that twin of yours and his wife have a couple of kids, she’ll have happier things to distract her. Besides, this is the last place Chuck will think to look for me.”

      “Todd and Dani aren’t planning to have kids for another year or two. Besides,” Troy added, “after accusing you of getting pregnant on purpose to justify cheating on you? Even Chuck isn’t stupid enough to get in touch with you.”

      Billie harrumphed.

      Her brother paused, then turned in his chair. “Whoa. Are you saying he did?”

      “No. I haven’t heard from him since the house sold. I just don’t want him adding insult to injury by calling to say he sold all our furniture.”

      “Or worse,” Troy added, “to announce that scuzzball he left you for is pregnant.”

      That hurt far worse than Billie cared to admit.

      “I still can’t believe he got more upset about losing your half of the house than about losing the baby.”

      Billie shook her head. “Why would that upset him? He never wanted her.” Heart pounding with the bitter memory, she said, “He never believed she was his, anyway.”

      “That’s bull. You know it, I know it and that no-good piece of garbage knows it.”

      “There’s ice cream in the freezer,” she said, interrupting his tirade. “What’ll it be? Ice cream sandwich or chocolate marshmallow swirl?”

      He glanced at the clock. “Ice cream. At ten-thirty. You’re kidding, right?”

      She started for the fridge. “If we’re gonna be up all hours, rehashing our sad pasts, I want something to sweeten the atmosphere.”

      “Our sad pasts,” he echoed. “If that means you expect me to spill my guts about what happened between Victoria and me...”

      “I’m going to get it out of you sooner or later,” Billie said matter-of-factly.

      “You still a fan of the evening news?”

      “Are you still a jarhead?”

      She knew what he’d say, and Troy didn’t disappoint: “Once a marine, always a marine.”

      But ten minutes into the late-night news, he was dozing, one arm crooked over his face as he sprawled on the couch. The scene reminded her of happier times with her twin brothers. “Lost my job,” he said at last, without moving.

      “No way. Why? Your boss loved you! I was there, remember, when he announced you were the new regional manager. Is he having money troubles?”

      “No, he’s doing great. I’m the one who’s having troubles. Not money troubles, but...” Troy levered himself up on one elbow. “I just couldn’t live the lie anymore.”

      “What lie?”

      “Don’t get me wrong—I care about Victoria—but I’m not in love with her. I know you believe she thought of me as nothing more than a paycheck, but she’s really a great gal, and deserves to be with someone who’s crazy about her.”

      He sat up, leaned both elbows on his knees and clasped his hands in the space between. “So I sat her down and told her the truth, then gave the boss two weeks’ notice. No big surprise...she gave me the weekend to clear out.”

      Billie sat beside him. “Why do I get the impression all of this happened a long time ago?”

      “Not that long,” he said dully. “Just two weeks.”

      “You left the house two weeks ago?”

      He nodded.

      “Troy! Where have you been staying all this time?” She gave his shoulder a sisterly punch. “And why didn’t you call me!”

      “I’ve been in a hotel. And don’t give me that ‘why didn’t you go to Mom and Dad’s’ nonsense. You know the answer to that even better than I do.” He heaved a deep sigh. “As for why I didn’t call you, I could say it was because I didn’t want to heap my troubles on top of yours, but that would be a lie. Truth is...I’m ashamed of myself.”

      “Why?”

      “I let things go