but he wouldn’t abandon what was his.
For so long it had been just Nash and his mother. She’d always put his needs first, rarely dating, never bringing a man to the house until Nash was in his late teens when she got engaged and eventually married. She’d always made sure her two jobs covered their bills and a few extras.
In short, she worked her ass off, purposely setting her own needs aside until Nash was old enough to understand and care for himself.
He didn’t want to see Lily struggling as a single mother, juggling a career and a child.
Added to that, she was pregnant with his child. It would take death to tear him away from what belonged to him. Did he love her? No. Love wasn’t in the cards for him, wasn’t something he believed in. That didn’t mean he didn’t already love this child they’d created. Now Nash had to make sure once she discovered the truth, she wouldn’t shut him out.
He knew how she loathed liars, how she’d been betrayed by a man in her past. Surely she would see this situation was completely different.
“What are all these papers that have you so upset?” he asked her.
Lily rested a hand on his thigh, tapping a stack with her finger. “Scripts Ian gave me to look over for the next film. He’s so excited because this will be our first film together, but everything here would be impossible for me to do until after the baby is born and that’s if I get my body back. Hollywood is ruthless when it comes to added pounds.”
He kept his opinion about Hollywood and their warped sense of “beautiful” to himself. Not all women needed to be rails to be stunning and added pounds didn’t take away from a woman’s talents. Lily was a petite woman, but she had curves in all the right places.
“Why don’t you tell Ian that none of these will work for you?”
Lily lazily drew an invisible pattern over his jeans with her fingertips. “I need to tell him about the baby. This has to be my sole focus. My career will have to come second for a while. I only hope I’m not committing career suicide.”
Nash smiled and stroked away a strand of hair from her eyes. “I highly doubt this will kill your career. Ian will understand, I’m sure.”
Lily scrubbed her hands over her face. “This is my life. I don’t know anything else. What do I know about being a mom?”
About as much as he knew about being a dad.
She slid out the other side of the booth and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Nash watched as she twisted off the cap and took a long drink. An overwhelming sense of possession swept through him. This sexy, vibrant woman would soon start showing visible signs of their secret affair.
“You can’t keep pushing yourself right now, Lily. It’s best you relax.”
Her eyes darted to his. “I don’t need you coming in here and telling me how I should be reacting. My life is mine alone, Nash. Yes, you’re the baby’s father, but I need to figure out what to do here. Even if I take some time off, I’m still in the spotlight. I don’t want...”
She bit her lip and glanced away. In the soft light casting a glow in the narrow space, Nash saw another fresh set of tears swimming in her eyes. Damn it.
“You don’t want the media to know,” he murmured.
After a slight hesitation, she nodded, but still didn’t meet his gaze. He climbed out of the seat and came up behind her, cupping her shoulders and easing her back against his chest.
“They’re going to find out, Lily. What you need to do is make sure you always stay in control.” Sliding his arms down, he covered her flat stomach with his hands, still in awe that a life grew inside there. “Don’t let them start the gossip. I’m sure you have TV interviews scheduled. Make a big bombshell announcement then. You’ll take the wind right out of the press’s sails.”
Lily turned in his arms. Her eyes met his as she blinked back tears. “That may be the best plan of action. But, I need to tell my mother first.”
Her mother. They’d never discussed their parents. That topic usually meant a relationship was building. He and Lily hadn’t planned on building on anything. They were enjoying their time together, not thinking of tomorrow.
Tomorrow, however, had caught up with them and smacked them in the face with a good dose of reality.
The fact they were bound forever now sent a bit of uncontrollable fear sliding through him. Whether either of them liked it or not, they were about to delve into personal territory.
Lily could talk about her mother all she wanted. That was most definitely an area in his life he wasn’t ready to reveal.
“Does your mother live in LA, too?”
“No, she lives in Arizona in a small, private community that’s run by an assisted living facility. She has her own home on the grounds and she’s very independent, but if her health gets bad or as she gets older and needs care, she’s already set.”
Lily stepped back and crossed her arms. “I don’t tell people where she is because I want her to have a normal life and not be hassled by the media.”
Nash didn’t want another reason to be drawn to Lily, but damn it she was protective of her mother. How could he not relate to that? Nash would do anything for his mother...which was why he was still harboring his secret instead of bursting through Damon’s front doors and laying it all out on the line.
Part of Nash wished he’d never kept this secret about his life, wished he’d just confronted his past immediately and moved on. But he’d wanted to protect his mother and wanted to move cautiously without making rash decisions. Lily was a different story. He’d seen her, he’d wanted her. Now, here they were, pregnant and discussing parents.
Irony shot at him from so many angles he could hardly keep up. He had been a secret baby, and Lily was expecting a baby that had to remain a secret for now. The best course of action for him would be to complete his original plans and confront Damon.
“Are you going to see your mom as soon as you’re done filming here?” he asked.
He needed her gone. He needed her away so he could have a face-to-face with Damon and not have Lily right there witnessing his confession of every single lie he’d told since meeting her. There was no way he could avoid the outcome, but he could at least soften the blow if she weren’t present for the bomb he would drop.
He wanted so much, from Damon, from himself...from Lily. In the end, he would have it all. He hadn’t gotten this far in his life by sitting idly by and watching opportunities pass. He reached with both hands and took what he wanted.
“I just need to think.” She rubbed her head and sighed. “I need to find a doctor. I have no idea where to go. Obviously I should look in LA, but I won’t be back there for a while.”
“I’ll find you one.” When she quirked a brow, he added, “I know people in the area. You need a checkup and then you can see a doctor when you get home.”
Assuming she went back home after filming wrapped up. Hell, he had no idea what her plans were. Honestly, all they’d managed to work out was how well they fit together intimately. Any discussion beyond that would be a vast change of pace.
“Just get me a name,” she told him. “It’s going to be nearly impossible to get in and out of a doctor’s office here without word getting out about my condition.”
Nash’s mind was working overtime. He couldn’t say too much or she’d know something was off about him and who she believed he was. She had to keep thinking he was just a groom until he could tell her otherwise. The last thing he needed at this point was her, or anyone for that matter, getting suspicious. Still, money talked and he’d use any means necessary to get her the proper care she needed while she was here.
“I bet we could get a doctor to come here, secretly,”