I can respect that,” Lauren said. “I believe a child should know both parents even if living together isn’t in the best interests of the parents.”
“In this case, it wouldn’t be good for either of us,” Tori said. “I was moving on with my life when this happened. I’m simply praying that Jeff will understand that we shouldn’t be together.”
“You don’t think he’ll make a good father, do you?” Lauren asked, as if she’d gained sudden insight into the workings of Tori’s mind.
“No, I have to admit I don’t,” Tori acknowledged. “I want what my mother has. I want what you and Justin have. Jeff, well, he’s got two priorities—work and his computer. You thought you were in love with Jeff once. You know exactly how single-minded he can be. It’s like he has tunnel vision.”
“I do know, and what I felt for him was a misguided crush,” Lauren said, clarifying the situation. “Justin quickly straightened me out. Okay, not so quickly. But Jeff and I aren’t compatible. You and he are. All of us can see that. You’re perfect for him.”
“Only because I put up with his nonsense longer than anyone else,” Tori said.
“Perhaps,” Lauren agreed. “But he talks about you all the time. I know he cares about you, and cares deeply.”
“He does care,” Tori said. “That’s never been an issue. But he cares for me the way he used to care for you—in that just-friends sense, only with me sex was added. While we may be great in bed, that’s not enough to make a marriage.”
“But what if he loved you?”
“He doesn’t. And I want the kind of love and affection that you and Justin share. The kind everyone can see. That’s not us. We didn’t do anything but sit around and watch movies. We were a couple, sort of. I’m tired of sort of. That’s why I called off the relationship and accepted this promotion. I want a husband who adores me and I can’t have that with Jeff. I need to take off the blinders so I can search for the right someone—someone who will be there forever. I’m not settling or marrying anyone until I’ve found that.”
“If you could see Jeff with Hailey, you wouldn’t even recognize him. He’s so good with her. She practically jumps out of my arms when she sees him,” Lauren defended.
“She probably thinks he’s Justin,” Tori said skeptically. She bit her lip. “Sorry. That was mean.”
Lauren shook her head. “It was, but I’ll forgive you because it’s a valid point and I worried about that myself. They are uncannily alike, but Hailey knows the difference. When they’re in the same room she goes to Justin and says Dada. She knows who Jeff is and who he’s not. You can tell that she loves her uncle very much, but she adores her father.”
Tori settled back against the chair. While deep down she wanted nothing more than the unconditional belief that Jeff would make an excellent father, he was terrible at expressing his feelings. “Yes, but Jeff’s great one-on-one like that. He keeps everyone in a certain compartment. He’s not with a child constantly. It’s like when he’s with me. We’re great in short bursts, but long-term, all day, every day? We’d be hating each other by the end of two weeks and that’s if we were lucky.”
“I think you’d be surprised. I thought life would be that way with Justin, but it wasn’t,” Lauren said. The two women had finished eating and Tori waved away the waiter’s offer of dessert.
“I’d like to be surprised, but I don’t believe I will be,” Tori said. “There’s too much history between us. The last thing I want is for us to marry and end up hating each other. Good things come to those who wait. I’m not afraid of being alone until the right man comes along.”
“You won’t be alone. You’ll be a mother,” Lauren pointed out.
“True,” Tori said. And her family had promised to help and support her. Even though she wouldn’t be in a relationship, everything was going to be fine. “I will tell him soon,” Tori promised. “Just say you won’t speak to him before I do.”
“Fine,” Lauren said. “I won’t. But if you don’t tell him in a few weeks, expect a phone call from me. This is not a secret I like keeping, but because we’re friends and have been since long before I married Justin, I’ll give you some time to sort things out. I can understand you wanting to make sure you’ve got your own thoughts straightened out, but don’t wait too long. You need to let him know before he finds out from someone else. You’ll be showing soon. Office workers talk. Don’t make him find out through the grapevine.”
“I won’t,” Tori assured her. “Just a few more weeks and I’ll figure out a way to tell him.”
“I’m going to hold you to that,” Lauren said. The matter settled, Tori and Lauren talked about other things until the check arrived, hugged each other goodbye and promised to keep in touch.
It wasn’t until Tori was in her car that she realized the full extent of her mistake. She’d been so intent on making sure Lauren didn’t tell Jeff, Tori had forgotten all about his twin. Lauren hadn’t promised not to tell Justin. Tori had to hope and trust that Lauren’s promise extended to her husband as well.
HER PHONE RANG as she merged into traffic on the way home. “Hi, Lisa.”
“Hey!” Lisa said. “I’m not catching you at a bad time, am I? I wanted you to know that Mark and I set a date. What are you doing the second weekend of August?”
“Coming to St. Louis?” Tori guessed. “Walking down the aisle?”
Lisa laughed. “Yes on both counts. I need you for the first two weekends in August, if you can get away from the office. There’s a shower for me the weekend before the wedding and we’re getting married the next. The reception is at Mark’s parents’ house. You don’t have a Neiman-Marcus department store in Kansas City, do you?”
“I’ll check the Web site, but right now I’d say no.”
“Rats. You’ll love the dresses and don’t worry, they’re really reasonable. Anyway, Cecile’s getting measured at the store on Michigan Avenue, so why don’t you come here? How’s this weekend?”
“I’m actually going to be in St. Louis next Monday for a meeting with Jared. How about we meet after that?” Tori suggested. “I’m coming in on Sunday anyway.”
“Only if you come in earlier so we can do dinner, too,” Lisa said. “Joann’s going to be in town this weekend, as well, so we can all get together like old times.”
“Twist my arm.” Tori laughed. “You know how much I like to eat. So put this Sunday on your calendar and send me an e-mail confirmation. I should remember, but I’m driving and don’t have a hand free to pencil it in.”
“That’s why you sound like you’re in a tunnel,” Lisa said with a chuckle. “I’ll do it right now. So will you be bringing anyone new to the wedding?”
“No,” Tori said. “Haven’t met anyone.”
“Well, Mark has some single friends who are flying in. One of them can serve as your date. Just as friends. No matchmaking.”
“Only if you promise.”
“Still doing the Internet dating thing?” Lisa asked.
Tori put her blinker on and switched lanes. “About to give it up. I never found anyone interesting. E-mail me all the information about the dress and the wedding events and I’ll put it on my calendar. I’ll see you this weekend.”
“I’ll do that today,” Lisa promised.
“You’re happy, aren’t you?” Tori asked.
“Very,” Lisa said, not missing a beat. Tori could hear the contentment in her friend’s voice.
“Good,” Tori said, satisfied that Lisa had made the right