conversation? It was a little too close and personal, considering where their relationship was. ‘Moving to Sydney turned out to be a good decision.’
It must’ve been difficult, starting afresh with a malpractice issue against his name. ‘I’m glad you see it like that.’
He shrugged. ‘Not a lot of choice. I was given a second chance. Of course I grabbed it.’ He paused before saying, ‘Working in a different environment opened my eyes to the fact that a department could be run very successfully without a domineering man like my father at the helm.’
‘He did have a reputation for great work.’ Tori shuddered. And bull-minded tactics for getting exactly what he wanted.
Ben nodded. ‘Sure, he did. But he could’ve achieved that without being so dictatorial.’
Who was this Ben? The man she’d married hadn’t done talking about important things, had never criticised his father. Ben always told you how much he loved you. Okay, that had been important.
Tori sighed. Why was she even thinking about the past? Their marriage was well and truly over. Right now all she wanted to do was enjoy being in France and having some fun for a change. Fun that didn’t, shouldn’t, include Benji.
Torture. Walking beside Tori, not touching, was pure torture. Listening to her voice, seeing the animation coming and going in her face whenever she turned his way. Definitely torture. Ben fought the need to wrap an arm around Tori’s shoulders, to feel her move under his grasp. That would be for himself, not for her. She wouldn’t appreciate the action. He’d been kidding himself to think he’d be able to see her and walk away unscathed. How could he when he still had deep feelings for her? Feelings he would not be acting on. Loneliness fired up, trampled on his heart.
He’d only ever felt this alone once before—when he’d left Tori. Now he was with her and nothing had changed. He dragged air into his lungs. Warm sea air from the Mediterranean. Tori must be beside herself about being here. ‘So you’re going to Paris after this?’ When she nodded, he asked, ‘Are you one of those Monsieur Leclare has asked to repeat your talk at the medical school?’
‘Yes. Are you?’
He nodded. ‘I’m replacing my colleague, who couldn’t make it.’ Then, ‘I’m looking forward to hearing you speak tomorrow.’
Her shoulders tensed for a moment. ‘I’m as nervous as I’ve ever been.’
‘Get away with you. It’ll be a walk in the park.’ Tori had never had a problem with talking, one on one or in a group.
‘Thanks for the vote of confidence.’ Her smile was tender, and untied one of the knots deep within him—knots that had been there since that fateful day when his world had come crashing down at his feet.
He nodded. ‘Why the nerves? Haven’t you prepared enough?’ Of course she would’ve. This was the woman who studied harder than anyone else and treated everything she did with fierce intensity. Including their marriage. Including their divorce.
‘Why do you think Monsieur Leclare invited me to give a talk on rheumatic fever and the resulting heart disease?’
‘Because you’re becoming quite the expert.’ Word was getting around about the cardiologist in New Zealand who’d set up a clinic to help the children who’d got heart problems after having rheumatic fever. According to the conference notes everyone had received, Tori had become known as the Heart Lady. ‘You’re saving children from ever appearing in our operating theatres.’
‘On the scale of cardiac things, I’m small fry. I’m not making groundbreaking discoveries, or coming up with new procedures.’ She sounded so perplexed he wanted to hug away her doubt.
‘What you do is equally important. You wait. I bet you get a standing ovation.’ He’d start one if no one else did.
‘Don’t overdo it.’ She chuckled, a soft, warm sound that lightened his heart, and undid another knot.
Keep this up and he’d soon be like a floppy piece of string, all tension gone. He held a splayed hand against his chest. ‘She wounds me.’
Another of those chuckles had him thinking if only he could make her repeat them all the way back to the hotel. ‘Time we turned back? We are getting into a less populated area.’
Tori stopped to look around. ‘You’re right.’ Then she yawned. ‘Seems the day has finally caught up with me.’
Ben took a chance and lifted her hand to tuck it on his arm, then headed back the way they’d come, enjoying the way her hip nudged him as she walked and desperately hoping she wouldn’t pull away. Diversionary tactics might work. ‘How’s Molly?’
‘Mum’s awesome. She’s playing golf three days a week, has joined a chess club and is playing bridge. She sold the house to move into a retirement village last year.’
‘No way. Not Mrs Independence.’ He’d got on well with Tori’s mother. She took no nonsense from anyone, not even him. He’d missed her a lot.
‘Says it’s the best decision she’s made in a long time. Personally I don’t get it, but it’s her call. I can hardly start telling her how to live her life when she’s always backed me in everything I’ve done, whether it was the right or wrong thing to do.’
‘She’s very wise, your mum.’ Wonder what Molly had to say about him these days? He’d gone to see her once when everything had been falling apart and received only kindness, though she’d said nothing that would put Tori in a bad light. She was a good mother, made all the more so because she’d brought Tori up alone after her husband had been killed in a trucking accident when Tori had been a nipper.
Tori tightened her fingers on his arm for a moment, and he waited to hear what she’d come out with next. But she must’ve changed her mind because that grip loosened and she remained quiet.
What would she say if he gave in to the need crawling through him and took her in his arms to kiss her? Why ask? He knew the answer. She’d slap him down and avoid him like the plague for the rest of the conference. Tori had never lacked common sense.
‘Have you met anyone else that you’re serious about?’ Tori suddenly turned his question from earlier back on him.
When he glanced at her she was staring straight ahead, tension tightening her throat. ‘No. There’s never a lot of time for relationships. I remember how hard it was for you and I to have together time.’ They’d been like ships in the night at times.
‘That’s a little different. I was studying and we were both putting in horrendous hours in the department.’
‘True.’ Given he’d married the love of his life and that had failed, what hope did any other relationship have? None, when he hadn’t quite laid that first one to rest yet. Hopefully the next few days would see to that.
They reached the sweeping entrance to the hotel and Ben led Tori inside to the elevators. Chancing a light kiss on her cheek, he inhaled her scent of roses. ‘Goodnight, Tori. See you in the morning.’
She entered the elevator and pressed the number for her floor. As the doors slid shut he saw her raise her fingers to the spot he’d just kissed.
Goodnight, Tori, he repeated silently to himself. You were the love of my life. Now you’re Tori, ex love of my life.
He needed to keep reminding himself of that.
‘Want a nightcap?’ John asked from behind him.
‘That’s the best idea you’ve had all day.’ It might be the thing to send him to sleep later, because at the moment it looked like being a very long night. ‘Where’s Rita?’
‘Tucked up in bed, planning her shopping expedition with Tori.’ John rolled his eyes. ‘Women, eh? What is it about shops that gets their knickers in such a twist?’
‘French