Borrow. The word went round and round inside her head. Father would surely see it as failure and use it as proof she couldn’t provide for her children.
She washed the girls as well as she could and heard their prayers. They whispered and giggled for a bit once they lay on their bedrolls. She caught the word Christmas several times, and every time the weight of it increased. Only a few weeks until the day they both looked forward to. Would she be able to keep her promise and provide them a home in time?
Only with God’s help. She’d about run out of opportunity and strength to do anything on her own.
Later, after the girls fell asleep, she explored her options. Bonnie and Claude fed her and provided this place of shelter. She must find a way to repay them.
And she just might be able to do it.
If Blue didn’t prove difficult.
The next morning, she was ready to go to the house for breakfast when Bonnie called. She cautioned the children before they left. “Now, girls, don’t eat too much. And for goodness’ sake, don’t chatter too much.”
Blue crossed the yard as they exited the shack.
Libby rushed up to him. “Carry me.”
He looked surprised for a moment, then swung her into his arms.
“Libby!” She hadn’t thought to warn her daughter against that.
“It’s okay, Mama. Isn’t it, Mr. Blue?” Libby grinned from her perch.
“She’s not heavy.”
Clara wasn’t concerned that he might find her too much of a weight. She was worried that Libby had attached herself to this man so completely after bemoaning the fact that everyone left. Or they left everyone. Libby should be prepared for leaving Blue soon.
They reached the house, and he set Libby on her feet.
Clara wanted to say something, warn him not to encourage her daughter, but now was not the time.
Claude asked God’s blessing on the food, and then they dug in to the generous breakfast—biscuits fresh from the oven, canned peaches, oatmeal porridge. A very satisfying meal.
Blue rose as soon as he was done. “I’ve got work to do.” He paused and looked at Clara. “Do you need anything?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. Must he continually treat her as if she couldn’t do a thing on her own? “I’ll be sure and let you know if I do.”
Her sarcasm wasn’t lost on him. He blinked and then a slow, teasing grin filled his face. “Yeah, I’m sure you will.” He jammed his hat on his head and, chuckling, left the house.
Claude followed on his heels.
Bonnie stared after the pair. “Well, I’ll be.” She shook her head. “I believe that’s the first time I’ve heard Blue laugh. He’s a real loner, you know.”
Sure couldn’t prove it by her, Clara thought as she turned to wash the dishes. Wouldn’t a loner leave her alone? And Blue didn’t.
She finished the dishes, hung the towels to dry and bid Bonnie goodbye. Time to proceed with her plans.
Blue cut the piece of lumber. The smell of the wood filled his senses. As his mind consumed it, he felt himself drowning in the present. That was his way of forgetting the past and ignoring the future. Later he’d sweep up the sawdust that fell at his feet and burn it, enjoying yet another scent. He shifted his mind to the process necessary to complete a pew. Measure, cut, fit, secure, sand, polish. Each step held comforting details to occupy his thoughts.
The outer door clattered open. Now what? Who’d have thought being alone would be so difficult?
Eleanor and Libby rushed into the room, bringing with them a cloud of cold air. Clara followed.
Blue leaned back on his heels and studied them. He saw the determination in Clara’s face and stiffened his spine in preparation for whatever complaint she meant to voice.
“I’ve decided.” She nodded as if to persuade herself.
His eyebrows went upward. What had she decided? And did she plan to tell him? He guessed she did or she wouldn’t be there, facing him with such a fierce look.
“I’m going to help you.”
His mouth fell open, and he snapped it shut.
She held up her hand. “Now before you try and dissuade me, listen to my reasons. I cannot continue to accept charity. It makes me look weak, and that’s not something I can allow. I expect you’re getting paid for the work.”
It wasn’t exactly the case. He drew wages from the ranch. Eddie had allowed him to take on this job off the ranch because it suited everyone to get the church done as quickly as possible.
“I’m not asking much, but I will help, and you can pay me from the pay you receive. All I need is enough to buy my meals from Bonnie.”
Well, if she didn’t take the cake when it came to expectations. “What do you know about woodworking?”
“Nothing. But how hard can it be?”
He snorted. “I learned woodworking from my father.” Back in Texas. He hadn’t seen Pa since he married Alice and moved to Wyoming, where he’d started a little ranch of his own. He slammed the door on the intrusion of memories. He could blame Clara for this constant struggle to keep them at bay. “Pa said woodworking is like playing a musical instrument. Those who do it well make it look easy.”
“I couldn’t say. I’ve never seen anyone make something from wood.”
“Yet you expect me to hire you to help?”
The fierceness in her expression faded, leaving her uncertain. “Couldn’t you teach me to do something?”
He considered the idea. He didn’t need help. Didn’t want it. Most certainly didn’t fancy the idea of having Clara and the girls underfoot day after day. But wasn’t she moving on? Soon, if he didn’t misread her intentions.
If he agreed to let her help, at least he would have the assurance she wasn’t starving herself out of pure foolish pride.
“Fine, but I can’t pay you. All the work done on the church is on a volunteer basis.”
The wind went out of her so quickly he thought she’d collapse.
“But the Mortons feed me as their part in the work. If you’re helping here, they’d expect to volunteer meals for you just as they do for me.”
She lifted her chin. “Fine. Then I accept.”
She accepted? As if she did him a favor? He laughed outright. The sound rumbled from his chest. He stopped. Blue never laughed anymore, and yet he’d done it twice in one morning.
She held out her hand. “Agreed?”
“Agreed.” He slowly brought his hand up to hers and shook. He drew back so suddenly he almost pulled her off balance. But he hadn’t touched a woman in two years. It felt strangely pleasant.
“Now show me what to do.”
“You certainly are bossy.”
The girls had been dragging their boots through the sawdust, leaving little trails, but they looked up at his comment.
“You called Mama a bad word.” Libby sounded affronted.
“What bad word did I say?”
“You said bossy. Mama says we aren’t to say that to people. But you did.” Poor Libby looked so shocked Blue rushed to apologize.
“I’m