that was.
‘You’d think the world had more important things to worry about than what people do in their private lives, wouldn’t you?’ Jeremy rattled on. ‘I mean … what business is it of others who or what you have sex with, as long as you’re not hurting anyone?’
But what if you were? came Nick’s savage thought. What if having sex with someone—right at this moment—was tearing someone else’s insides out?
‘Well said, Jeremy,’ his partner complimented.
Nick’s eyes swung to Kelvin, who was a tall, skinny fellow of indeterminate age.
Nick was about to open his mouth and make some possibly rude remark—he suspected he was on the verge of behaving very badly indeed—when the movement he’d been waiting for caught the corner of his eye.
Nick’s guts crunched down hard as he watched the object of his agitation waltz across the foyer with a smug-looking Derek hot on her heels.
That Sarah’s hair was down—and tousled—did not escape Nick. Neither did her flushed cheeks.
‘If you’ll excuse me,’ he said abruptly, ‘there’s someone I must speak to. Chloe, could you show our guests out to the terrace? The lunch is a buffet, but there are place cards on the table.’
Nick ignored the flash of annoyance that zoomed across Chloe’s face, just before he spun away and marched across the family room to confront Sarah. What he thought he was going to say he had no idea. But he needed to say something; anything to give vent to the storm of emotion building to a head within him.
‘Sarah,’ he bit out when he was close enough to the lovebirds.
Her eyes jerked round towards him.
‘I need to talk to you. Now. In private.’
‘But we were just going out to the terrace for lunch,’ she returned, oh, so sweetly.
He gritted his teeth as his furious gaze fastened on her mouth, where her red lipstick was an even glossier red than it had been before. Courtesy, no doubt, of having had to be retouched.
But the coup de grâce to his already teetering control was noticing that she’d removed his diamond earrings.
‘I’m sure you won’t mind not eating for a further five minutes,’ he snapped, his stomach turning over at the thought of why she wasn’t still wearing his Christmas gift.
Her shrug seemed carefree, but he detected a smidgeon of worry in her eyes.
‘I won’t be long, darling,’ she said to her lover with a softly apologetic stroke on his arm. ‘The buffet’s all set up on the terrace out there. You go ahead and I’ll join you shortly.’
‘Sure thing, babe. I’ll choose for you. And get you some of that white wine you like.’
‘Would you? That would be wonderful.’
The schmaltzy exchange almost made Nick sick to his stomach. The moment Derek departed he grabbed Sarah by the elbow and steered her back out to the foyer, then along the front hallway towards his study.
When she tried to wrench her arm free, his hand tightened its hold.
‘Is this caveman stuff really necessary?’ she protested.
Nick said nothing, just pushed her into his study, then banged the door shut behind them. When he glowered over her, she did look a little shamefaced.
‘OK, you’re mad at me for not coming downstairs earlier and helping you with your guests,’ she said. ‘That’s it, isn’t it?’
‘Not only was your behaviour rude, Sarah, it was embarrassing.’
‘Embarrassing! I don’t see how. I mean, it’s not as though I know any of the guests this year. Flora told me beforehand that all of them are from your production company.’
‘That’s no excuse for ignoring them,’ he lashed out. ‘They have heard me speak of you. They expected to meet you, but you were nowhere to be seen. On Christmas Day, of all days! It would have been polite of you to be in the family room, offering drinks and making conversation. Instead, you were upstairs in your bedroom, having sex with that obsequious boyfriend of yours. I would have thought you had more pride, and a better sense of decorum.’
Her cheeks went bright red. ‘Derek is not obsequious. And I was not having sex with him.’
Nick’s laugh was both cold and contemptuous. ‘Your appearance rather contradicts that.’
Her mouth fell open, then snapped shut. ‘What Derek and I do in the privacy of my room is none of your business. Just as it’s none of my business what you’ll be doing with Chloe tonight in your bedroom. We’re both adults now, Nick. I’ve been an adult for quite some time, in case you haven’t noticed. In six weeks’ time, I’ll be twenty-five and you’ll no longer have any say in my life whatsoever. I will be able to do whatever I like in this house because you won’t be in it!’
‘And no one will be more pleased than me,’ he threw back at her, his frustration making him reckless. ‘Do you think I’ve enjoyed being your bloody guardian? Do you think it’s been fun, trying to keep you safe from all the sleazebags? Do you have any idea how hard it’s been for me, keeping my own hands off you?’
There! He’d said it. It was out in the open now. His dark secret, his guilty obsession.
Nick hated the shock in her face. But it was a relief, in a way.
‘You never guessed?’ he said, his soul suddenly weary.
She shook her head. ‘You … you never said anything.’
Nick’s smile was wry. ‘I owed it to Ray to do what he asked me to do.’
‘He asked you to keep away from me?’
‘He asked me to protect you from the scoundrels of this world.’
If anything, this statement shocked her more than his admitting his desire.
‘But you’re not a scoundrel!’
‘Trust me, Sarah. I’m a scoundrel of the first order. Always was. Always will be. Believe me, if you were any other man’s daughter I would have seduced you when I had the chance. Because I did have a chance with you, didn’t I? When you were sixteen.’
‘You mean when I kissed you that time? You actually wanted me back then?’
‘That’s putting it mildly. Don’t imagine for a single moment that I was worried about your age. Such things have never mattered to me. I just couldn’t bear the thought that the one man in the world whom I liked and respected might look at me with disgust. Ray’s words of praise and acceptance meant more to me than my intense but inconvenient desire for you.’
‘I … I see …’
Nick doubted it. How could someone as basically sweet and naïve as Sarah understand the dark and damaged undercurrents of his character?
‘Go on. Go back to your Derek,’ he commanded.
‘He … he’s not my Derek.’
‘What? What do you mean by that?’
‘Derek’s not my lover. He’s just a friend. He’s also gay.’
‘Gay!’ Nick repeated, his mind whirling as he tried to make sense of Sarah’s confession.
‘You’ve just been brutally honest with me, so I’m going to be brutally honest with you. I brought Derek to today’s lunch so that I wouldn’t be alone. And hopefully, to make you jealous.’
Nick stared at her.
Sarah looked as if she was about to cry. ‘I’ve had a crush on you for as long as I can remember,’ she blurted out.
Nick