death, but Tess simply hated talking about that time in her life. She’d had too many nightmares, anyway, and she wanted those nightmares gone. Her arrival home with Gerard in March had met with no fanfare, no announcements.
Now Tess was sorry she hadn’t even given Megan at least a warning before this morning’s episode. After all, Megan had been working here when it all took place; they just hadn’t known each other well.
“The good news,” Sean said, patting Tess’s shoulder, “is that no more sick people have come in for the past…what did you say, Megan? Thirty minutes?”
“More like forty-five. Betty arrived just a few moments ago, and she’s helping Judy keep close watch over the patients in the dorms. I’ve completed all the tests and sent them to the lab.”
Tess nodded. Both Judy and Betty were two of the best RNs in the area, with much knowledge and tender hearts. This mission was blessed with a lot of knowledgeable, caring people. Tess couldn’t help silently asking herself if she belonged.
Sean leaned over and bumped shoulders with her. “I know that look.”
She glanced up at him, and her eyes grew warm with moisture.
“Stop it,” he said.
“Can’t help it. I’m sad about Stud.”
“You’re somehow blaming yourself for this, like you blame yourself for practically everything that goes wrong in the world. I think you’ve got control issues. You’re not God.”
Some of his words hit a sore spot. “When did you get the psychotherapy degree?” She knew her voice was a little sharp, but couldn’t he let up on her a little? “It could be days before we find out what really happened to Stud. I don’t feel good about not knowing.”
Megan hovered over Tess. “I called the lab for a stat on all the fluids I sent them. Even if we don’t get a quick answer from the autopsy, the lab staff is great, with good people to work with, and I’ve updated them. They know a lot of lives could be dependent on their work.”
“In other words, we could find out what happened at any time,” Sean said.
“I’m just waiting for the call.”
“People don’t often die from food poisoning,” Tess said.
“Not food poisoning alone,” Megan said. “But we know Stud had problems.”
“Alcohol,” Sean said. “Speed, too.”
“Really?” Tess asked.
Sean shrugged. “From what little I’ve deciphered from a couple of our conversations, he occasionally got so down and depressed that when he came into extra money, he would combine alcohol with meth just to escape his life for a while.”
Tess remembered the nights Gerard had been forced to ban Stud from sleeping in the dorm because of his altered level of consciousness and the danger that could cause for the other men in the dorm.
“I don’t know how Gerard does it,” Megan said softly.
Tess knew exactly what she meant. “He’s a strong man. He and Hans have always had hearts for the suffering—even those who seemed to bring it on themselves.”
“So do you, Tess,” Sean said. “And Megan.”
“And Sean.” Megan grinned up at him.
“Okay, enough mutual admiration,” Tess said dryly. “We’re all saints and angels. So why do we do what we do? I know why I’m here. I’m hiding from life. What about you two?”
“Same here,” Sean said.
“Really?” Megan said. “Because I thought it was to be close to—uh, well—I’m here to work off my school loans. So maybe we’re not such saints, after all. What are our clients and patients doing here?”
“Who knows why Stud abused alcohol and drugs?” Sean asked. “In the eight months I’ve worked here, I’ve discovered a lot of people try to self-medicate for depression, grief, mental illness they can’t afford to have treated.”
“That’s the real reason we’re here,” Tess said. “As Gerard has so often reminded me since he and Hans established this mission, this place is the poor man’s treatment center. It’s a mission not only to help feed the hungry and try to shelter them, but to share God’s love with them in a way they may never have experienced before.”
With a soft sigh, Megan paced across the clinic. Tess watched her. Megan had long, ginger-colored hair, delicate but exotic facial features, a tiny waist. Her movements were graceful and feminine, but those features belied the inner strength Tess had seen in her on more than one occasion. Unfortunately, in the eighteen months she had been here, Gerard had not managed to convince her of the truth of God’s mercy, which they shared with those who came here for help. Though Tess had no doubt that Gerard and Megan were drawn by some kind of unseen connection, Tess was convinced Megan would fulfill her final six months of duty and move on without anything being done to encourage a deepening of the relationship.
That saddened Tess. But then, everything seemed to sadden Tess these days.
She glanced again at Stud’s sheeted form and reached for Sean’s arm. Without a word, he put it around her, and she leaned into him, soaking up his warmth and strength. Sean had been such a good friend for such a long time. He was like another brother.
Only he wasn’t. Not at all. She straightened and pulled away as Gerard entered the clinic.
There was something about Tess’s brother that drew people the moment he entered a room. There was a power about him that his attractively craggy features and his pale blond hair and blue eyes did not explain. Like Sean, he was built like a wrestling champion. There was an energy that seemed to emanate from him.
Tess got up from the cot and walked into her brother’s arms. “I’m so sorry about Stud. I know you worried a lot about him.”
Gerard squeezed her tightly and kissed her on top of the head, much like Sean had done. “You doing okay, kiddo?”
Tess nodded, still soaking up some of her brother’s strength from his closeness. “Have you told Hans?”
“I called him on my way here. Look, I just contacted the coroner, and the van is coming to get Stud. Tess, why don’t you and Sean take a drive? Sean was up extra early and could use a break, and you don’t need to be around right now. Megan and I can handle this.”
“How long before the coroner arrives?” Tess stepped from her brother’s arms at last.
“Maybe ten to twenty minutes.”
“In that case, Megan, could we talk for a few minutes privately?”
“You mean so you can finally fill me in on those holes you’ve left out of your mysterious past year?”
“Pretty much.”
“Lead on. I love mysteries.”
Sean watched Tess lead Megan up the stairs to Admin and then turned back to Gerard, who stood over Stud, head bowed. At last, in the silence, Sean had a chance to grieve. Gerard wasn’t the only one who’d spent quite a bit of time with the older man. When Stud was sober, he could entertain the children, charm the ladies and have all the men laughing over dinner. He wasn’t a mean drunk, just sad. He’d cried a lot.
A hand fell on Sean’s shoulder, and he looked up to find Gerard watching him. “I never promised this job would be easy.”
Sean shook his head. “The worthwhile ones seldom are.”
“There are good days. We help a lot of people here, Sean, and you’re a big part of that.”
“So is Tess, but I’m afraid it’s taking its toll on her. She fainted when Megan called us about Stud.”