because of you.”
“You aren’t disappointed?” He folded the scarf, concentrating on the task, ill at ease. “This can’t be what you expected.”
“No.” Her loving gaze fell on Gertie, still kneeling on the floor. “It’s a great deal more than I’d hoped.”
“You are, too.” The words made him feel way too vulnerable and he knew he was heading for trouble. There could be no tie between him and the woman. Just a convenient arrangement for the child’s sake. But he wanted Felicity to know she was wanted here. For what she’d already done for Gertie, she’d earned his devotion. Likely as not, her opinion of him would change over time when she heard the rumors about him and learned they were largely true.
But for now he let her smile wash through him, as rare as a Christmas star. He knew God looking down from His heaven had not forgotten Gertie. Tate was grateful. The child tipped her face up to beam at her new mother.
“Thank you so, so much.” Eyes brimming, the girl hugged the doll tight. “I will love her forever.”
He took his leave, swallowed hard against the painful lump lodged in his throat and headed for the chair by the fire. He had work waiting, something to keep his mind busy and his thoughts on the practical. He was no dreamer. Life had taught him the hard way dreams were for the foolish. Once he’d been a fool dreaming of happiness, seeing the best in folks, even where it could not possibly exist. He paid a high price for that lesson he must never forget.
Not even a beautiful woman and her gift of a rag doll with yarn hair and a pink calico dress could make him believe. How could she have known about the doll? He stared at the scarf clutched in one hand, the yarn soft and warm. Voices lifted and fell cheerfully as the females discussed one dress after another while unpacking that heavy trunk. He didn’t have to look to know Gertie still clutched her doll in both arms good and tight, as if it were the grandest treasure in all the world.
He wrapped the length of wool around his neck. Soft, it smelled faintly of roses, the way Felicity did. His chest tangled into a thousand knots as he shrugged into his coat and closed his ears to the sound of the woman’s gentle laughter. But it was too late. The trill of happiness echoed inside him, in the places so empty not even his soul could live there.
He opened the door and took refuge in the dark, in the cold that froze the feeling from his face and fingers, and in the night that cloaked him. Like a ghost, he trudged across the road, surrounded by darkly gleaming snow and a faint echo of her laughter that clung inside him and refused to let go.
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