Our funds were running very low.’
‘Ah. So now your husband’s fortune has gone you have abandoned him.’
‘No!’ She bit her lip. She should correct him, tell him it was her money they had lived on, that she was now a widow, but the words stuck in her throat. Pride would not let her admit how wrong she had been, how foolish. Instead she said haughtily, ‘You have no right to judge me.’
‘Why, because I am not your equal, my lady?’
‘You are impertinent, monsieur. I had expected better manners from a doctor.’
‘But I have told you I am not a doctor. I am a surgeon.’
‘But clearly not a gentleman!’
A heavy silence followed her words, but she would not take them back. An angry frown descended upon Raoul’s countenance, but he did not speak. Cassie kept pace with him, head high, but his refusal to respond flayed her nerves. She tried telling herself that it was better if they did not talk, that it was safer to keep a distance, yet she found the silence unbearable and after a while she threw a question at him.
‘If you are no deserter, why are you being pursued?’
‘That need not concern you.’
Cassie knew his retort was no more than she deserved, after what she had said to him. Her temper had subsided as quickly as it was roused; she knew it was wise to keep a distance from this man, but that did not mean they had to be at odds.
She tried to make amends by saying contritely, ‘I beg your pardon if my words offended you, monsieur, but you must admit, your appearance, your situation... We shall have a miserable journey if we do not discuss something.’
There, she had apologised, but when he said nothing she glanced at his angry countenance and thought ruefully that his pride was equal to hers. They were not suited as travelling companions. Cassie walked on beside him, resigned to the silence, but presently the strained atmosphere between them changed. The black cloud lifted from his brow and he began to speak.
‘A year ago—about the time that you came to France—I quit the navy and went to Paris to live with my sister Margot. She and her husband had taken me in when I had gone there ten years before to study at the Hôtel-Dieu under the great French surgeon, Desault. Margot was widowed three years ago, so by moving into her house I thought I could support her. Unfortunately last winter she caught the eye of a minor official in Paris, one Valerin. Margo did not welcome his attentions and I told him so. He did not like it.’
‘You were rather rough with him, perhaps,’ she observed sagely.
‘Yes. I came home one night and found him trying to force himself upon Margot. I threw him out of the house and broke his nose into the bargain. That was my mistake. Life became difficult, we were suspected of being enemies of the state, the house was raided several times. It became so bad that a couple of months ago I sent Margot to Brussels. I planned to follow her, once I had wound up my affairs in Paris, but Valerin was too quick for me. He accused me of being a deserter. When I looked for my papers they had gone, taken during one of the house raids, I suppose, and when I applied to the prefect to see the record of my discharge the files were missing.’
‘And could no one vouch for you?’
He shrugged. ‘My old captain, possibly, but he is at sea. A response from him could take months. I thought it best to leave Paris. And just in time. I was still making my preparations when Valerin came with papers for my arrest and I was forced to flee with nothing. He was so intent upon my capture that he sent word to the Paris gates, which is why you find me dressed en paysan and, as you put it, looking like a bear.’
Cassie bit her lip.
‘I should not have said that of you. I am in no position to preach to you now, monsieur.’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘I have never been so dirty. What I would give for clean linen!’
‘I fear that will have to wait until we reach Reims, madame.’
* * *
They kept to the woodland paths and avoided the main highways. It made the journey longer, but Raoul was anxious to avoid meeting anyone who might ask for their papers. Their only food was some fruit, wine and bread they purchased from a woodsman’s cottage and at noon they stopped on a ridge, sitting on a fallen tree to eat their frugal meal.
‘Is that Reims ahead of us?’ asked Cassie, pointing to the roofs and spires in the distance.
‘It is. We shall be there before dark, milady.’ He sensed her anxiety and added, ‘I shall see you safe to a priest, or a nunnery, madame, before I leave you.’
‘Thank you.’ She sighed. ‘Travelling alone is very perilous for a lady.’
She was trying to make light of it, but he was not deceived. She was frightened, as well she should be. It was no good to tell himself she was not his responsibility, Raoul’s conscience told him otherwise. He made an attempt to stifle it, saying harshly, ‘You should have thought of that before you left your husband.’
He glanced down at her and saw that she was close to tears. The urge to take her in his arms was so great that he clenched his fists and pressed them into his thighs. He searched for something to say.
‘Why did you elope with him?’
One dainty hand fluttered.
‘He was handsome and charming, and he swept me off my feet. Grandmama, who is my guardian, said I was too young, but I thought I knew better. When Gerald suggested we should elope I thought it would be a great adventure. I do not expect you to understand, but life in Bath was very...tame. Oh, there were parties and balls and lots of friends, but it was not enough. I wanted excitement. Gerald offered me that.’
‘No doubt being in an enemy country and detained at Verdun has given you a surfeit of excitement.’
She frowned a little, considering.
‘One would have thought so, but do you know, it was not so very different from Bath. There are so many English people there and they are determined to carry on very much as they always do. There are parties and assemblies, race meetings and gambling dens, everyone finding silly or frivolous entertainments to fill the time. In truth it is a very a foolish way to live. To be perfectly honest, I was bored.’
Raoul watched her. She had clearly forgotten to whom she was talking, there was no reserve as the words poured forth and when she turned her head and smiled up at him, completely natural and unaffected, it shook him to the core. He had the very disturbing sensation of his whole world tilting. The ground beneath him turned to quicksand and it threatened to consume him. It was not that she was trying to attract him, quite the opposite. Her look was trusting and friendly, and it cut through his defences like a sword through paper.
He dragged his eyes away. He needed to repair his defences, to put up the barriers again.
* * *
Cassie sucked in a ragged breath, unsure what had just happened to her. In telling Raoul about her elopement she had opened her soul to him in a way she had never done with anyone before. Even when she had thought herself hopelessly in love with Gerald she had never felt such a connection as she did with this dark stranger. It frightened her.
He rose, saying gruffly, ‘We should go, we still have several hours travelling to reach Reims.’
Cassie nodded and followed him towards the horse. His voice was perfectly composed. He had not commented, displayed no emotion at what she had told him. No doubt he thought her an idle, frivolous woman, worthy only of contempt. When he sprang into the saddle and put his hand out to her she glanced up at his face, an anxious frown creasing her brow.
‘No doubt you think me a silly creature. Contemptible.’
The black eyes gave nothing away.
‘What I think of you is unimportant,’ he said shortly. ‘Come, let us press on.’
*