down at the beautifully-tiled floor, feeling like a total failure.
“So, you have paid the fees for now, right?” he said not meeting her eyes. “When do you need more money for Soom?”
“About six months. I pay university fees two times a year, but I give Soom money for her room and living every month.”
“So you have six months?”
“No, I must start working now to give Soom money every month and then more fees in six months. If I wait, it is too late.”
“OK, Lek... I wish that you had brought this up before, but, please give me a few hours to think about the problem, before you do anything quickly. Let’s say that you have... two weeks, eh? Can you wait two weeks?”
Lek nodded and put her hand on his shoulder, “Sure, I can wait two weeks.”
Craig was still shell-shocked. He put his hand to hers and patted it a few times, slowly. “I wish you had told me your problem before, Lek, I really do. Now, it’s hurry, hurry, hurry, but thanks for... Er, well, we have two weeks, eh? … What are your plans for today?”
“It has taken me days to say this... I don’t have any plans now. Do you?”
“No, but I know that right now, work is not the answer... Why don’t you go off to your mother’s and I’ll have a think?”
Lek was glad of the excuse to get out and be alone, and, having recovered somewhat from the initial shock, so was Craig.
After Lek had left, he finished his cold coffee in one, packed up his laptop and went to the shop where he did a lot of his thinking. The office was for slog work, but Nong’s shop was for deep cogitation, usually over a few ice-cold beers. Watching the people in the village coming and going, carrying out their daily lives had always had a calming, yet inspirational effect upon him.
He sat down at the one table outside the shop and waited for Nong to notice him. He had been drinking at Nong’s shop for eight years, but they still could not talk to each other in any meaningful way. Nong appeared not to have an aptitude for English and Craig had spent most of his time trying to earn money rather than learn Thai.
As he was staring out before himself, he heard Nong say, “Hello Mr. Craig, how are you today?” in Thai.
“Sabaai dee, kap - I’m fine thanks. Khun duay, mai? You too?”
“Yes, thank you. The beer is very cold today.”
Nong always said that, but then the beer was always cold too.
Craig slouched in the bench seat and stretched his feet out in front of himself. He thought with a smile, that if he smoked, this would be a two-pipe problem, as Sherlock Holmes would have said.
“Why hadn’t she mentioned it before? Why the sudden crisis? The real bottom line was, if she believed in karma, as she insisted she did, why did she think that she could change her daughter’s karma?” It did not make sense now, although Lek’s news had hit him like a bullet.
The problem was that Lek seemed to be sure that her only way forward was to go back to work in a bar. So, whether she was right or wrong in her religious philosophy, she would probably leave him in fourteen days.
Craig knew that Lek had an iron will. If that was what she had said she would do, that was what she would do, unless there was a very good reason not to. And the only reason that was good enough was money, so he needed a supply of money.
Or he needed to shed the chains that held him and Lek together – he needed to stop loving her.
Money or love?
That was the dilemma.
Lek had already decided that she would choose money, although not for entirely selfish reasons. Selfishness was in there though, he was sure. He knew that she would not be able to bear the shame of having to withdraw Soom from university for lack of funds.
Although that was the mechanics of the situation, it did not help his predicament. He loved Lek, but he was being offered an honourable way out. No-one would blame him for cutting and running now. Lek had told him that he was on his own.
Craig wondered for a little while whether Lek was offering him this easy exit because she had found someone new, but he dismissed the idea as much for lack of evidence as the fact that it would have hurt him too much to countenance it. He believed that Lek was genuinely concerned about her daughter’s future and that helped him with the next choice, which was whether he should stay or go.
That would take another beer. It was not that he didn’t want to stay. It was more a question of whether this problem would erupt again over an unrelated issue like Soom’s first home, Soom’s first car, Soom’s babies, when she had them, which she inevitably would. Soom had been brought up by her grandmother as had Lek and he knew that Lek was looking forward to the role in her turn.
Craig, however, was not, yet the likelihood of it coming to pass was only three or four years away.
Nong saw the empty bottle and swiftly brought another one.
The ultimate decision was between selling everything that he had left in the UK, looking after Soom’s children and staying with Lek in the village that he had come to call home or to call it a day and move on.
It was a tough one.
∞
Lek had gone to her Mum’s house, which was just over the lane from their place, less than half-way to Nong’s shop. She hadn’t discussed her predicament with anyone yet, because so much depended on Craig, but she was ready to bite the bullet and go back to work if things worked out that way.
She was prepared to accept her own bad Fate, but she was not prepared to allow Fate to affect Soom’s future, if she could do anything about it.
If Craig fell by the wayside, then so be it. The ball was in his court now. She had given him an out and a two-week period to come up with a solution. There was nothing more to do than steel herself again and wait for what her Karma would throw at her. She did care about Craig, but she cared more about Soom and she cared nothing for herself.
After the dreams she had had for and the nightmares she had had about Soom’s future over the last eighteen years, Lek was not about to leave anything to something as intangible as Fate. Her daughter might not be clever enough to pass the examinations, that was something else, but she would sit them, shortage of money notwithstanding.
She sat with her mother, but her mother could see that she was troubled, so she cut and peeled some fruit for them both and pretended to be busy until her daughter made the first move.
“What would you think if I moved to Bangkok, Mum, to be closer to Soom if she needs me? I think that I can be more use there than here now. What do you reckon?”
“I reckon that that is your decision, Lek, but what does Craig think about it? He is your husband and therefore the one you should be asking this question, not me.”
“Yes, I know, but... I’m just not sure...”
“I never followed you around when you were growing up. Did I do wrong? Why do you think that you have to be at your daughter’s side and not your husband’s?
“Soom has her own mistakes to make like we all did and still do – it is part of growing up. Will you be there when she meets her first lover too?”
“I would like to be, yes! And if he’s not good enough I’d...”
Lek could see her mother’s smiling eyes although no mirth showed around her mouth.
“You can only do what you can do. You could not be here for the first part of Soom’s life, but that is not so bad. I did my best and you were here for the last eight years. Soom is a good, level-headed, intelligent girl, now is the time to give her some headroom – let her practice what she has learned – don’t keep