She could do this.
‘We’ve survived,’ she said, and she thought, I will survive. And then she thought, How dramatic is that? Woman who’s just had a magnificent time out with a wounded warrior; celebrating survival? She felt like she should be celebrating much more.
She could put him in her book. Who was she kidding? He already was in her book.
And who was she kidding with her writing? Writing would give her an alternative career? That was fantasy.
Like now. But fantasy was over.
Ben was putting her gently away, kissing her with all the tenderness in the world but then setting her back, holding her shoulders so he could look into her eyes.
‘That was a very nice way to spend the storm,’ he said, and she managed a smile.
‘Diversional therapy? They taught us that at nursing school. It works beautifully.’
‘You never learned what we just did at nursing school.’
‘I... No.’
‘Mary, if there are consequences...’
‘There won’t be consequences.’ She said it with more confidence than she felt. It was the wrong time of the month, she should be okay, but...but...
But there were things she could do. She just had to be practical.
‘I’ll always be here for you,’ he said, and there was that in his voice that said he meant it. ‘No matter where you are in the world, if you ever need me...’
‘If ever I wash up on a beach...’
‘I’m not joking,’ he said, and touched her lips gently with his fingers. ‘I’m yours for life.’
He meant he had a lifelong debt, she thought. Yours for life? No and no and no. Already she could see him moving on.
‘We need a radio,’ he said.
‘There’s been no transmission since before I found you. I suspect the mainland transmission towers have gone.’
‘Phone?’ he said without much hope.
‘Same. But I turned mine off, conserving the battery so when it does come on again I can call.’
She saw his relief. ‘You normally get reception?’
‘From higher on the island, where the hut is.’ She hauled herself together, trying to ignore the feel of his hands on her shoulders, trying to ignore the part of her that was screaming that she didn’t want to leave this place.
She had to leave.
‘I’ll do a recce,’ she said. ‘Heinz and me. It’s time he got some exercise.’
‘We’ll do a recce.’
‘Yeah, Commando Sir,’ she said dryly. ‘Have you seen the size of your knee?’
‘It’s better.’
‘It’s straight. It’s not better. And there’s no proof you don’t have a broken bone. You want to be on the other side of the island and the bone shifts? What good would that do either of us?
‘I need to find out what’s happened to Jake,’ he said, and she knew his focus had gone out of this cave, back to the most important thing in the world.
His twin.
He’d moved on. She must, too.
She sat up and stared out into the bright morning light. The sky was clear, the wind had dropped to almost nothing, and she could see the turquoise blue of the bay. ‘The tide looks like it’s out,’ she said. ‘There’ll be a couple of hours when I can access most parts of the beach. What if you stay here and tend the fire, and Heinz and I will do a circumnavigation of the island. We’ll check and see what’s left of the hut but we’ll check the beach first.’
She very carefully didn’t look at his face. She stared out to sea as if she wasn’t thinking about anything at all except maybe finding the odd interesting shell. ‘It’d be good to see what the storm’s washed up,’ she said in a voice that said she was hardly interested.
He wasn’t fooled for a moment. ‘Mary...’
She dropped the pretence. ‘I know you’re worried. You shouldn’t be. He was in a harness. Those choppers don’t drop anyone.’
‘Thank you,’ he said. He was trying to believe her but he was also thinking of next worst-case scenarios. ‘Mary, there were others...’
‘I’ll be looking. I’m not Jake-specific. Any more commando heroes washed overboard, I’ll tug ’em home.’
‘Isn’t one enough?’
‘One’s more than enough,’ she said, and then, because she couldn’t help herself, she took his face between her hands and she kissed him. She kissed him strongly and surely, and he wasn’t to know that for her it seemed like a goodbye.
‘One’s more than enough,’ she said. ‘One’s given me strength that should keep me going for a long, long time.’
‘How long?’
‘I’d guess a few hours,’ she said, forcing herself to put the kiss aside as it was too hard to think about. ‘It normally takes two hours to walk the beach but with the debris it might take me four. Don’t expect me home for lunch.’
‘For better or worse but not for lunch?’
‘That’s right, dear,’ she said, and grinned. ‘I’ll take an apple and a water bottle. Meanwhile, you keep the home fires burning and have my slippers warmed and ready. Bye.’
* * *
She left, taking Heinz with her, and he wanted to go with her so much it almost killed him. Only practicalities stopped him. His leg would impede them both. He did need her to go right round the island. He did need her to check the shore.
Just in case.
But she was right. Harnesses didn’t fail. Jake would be safe. He was being paranoid.
And now, on top of his worry for Jake, another worry was superimposed. Mary, pushing her way through debris, navigating a cyclone-devastated island...
What if she fell?
She wouldn’t. What had she said? She was little and quick and smart.
She was, too.
His warrior woman.
He smiled. Mary. He owed her so much. How could he ever repay her?
Do something about her appalling family?
What?
He threw a couple more logs on the fire and thought about the sequence of events leading to the coroner’s verdict. Had she employed a lawyer? He bet she hadn’t. A lawyer would have cross-examined, produced times and witnesses outside the family, talked about pre-existing family conflict.
Would Mary allow him to push for a rehearing? Would she allow him to do that for her?
He suspected not. He could hear the defeat in her voice, but also the loyalty. Somewhere there was a father she still loved, and these appalling women were his wife and daughters.
What else? He’d never felt so helpless.
She’d been gone for half an hour, far too early for her to return, yet already he was imagining worst-case scenarios. There’d been trees ripped, maybe landslides from so much rain. So many hazards...
Things on the beach.
Jake...
In desperation he picked up the papers she’d been writing on. He’d watched her, half asleep, and seen the intent look on her face. It had seemed like this was something that took her out of her current