George Gissing

A Life's Morning


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walk from the first in the ways of Anglican salvation. She dreaded the 'spirit of the age.' With a better judgment in pure literature than falls to the lot of most women—or men either—she yet banished from her abode, wherever it might be anything that remotely savoured of intellectual emancipation; her aesthetic leanings she deemed the great temptation of her life, for she frankly owned to her friends that many things powerfully attracted her, which her con science bade her shun as dangerous. Her generosity made her a shining light in the world which busies itself in the dispensing or receiving of ecclesiastical charity. The clerical element was very strong in the circle that surrounded her. At the same time her worldly tastes did not go altogether ungratified. She was very fond of music, and her unlimited powers in the provision of first-rate musical entertainment brought to her house acquaintances of a kind that would not otherwise have been found there. The theatre she tabooed, regarding this severity as an acceptable sacrifice, and not troubling to reflect what share her ill-health had in rendering it a fairly easy one. In brief, she was a woman of a genial nature, whose inconsistencies were largely due to her inability to outgrow early conditions.

      Beatrice inherited her mother's mental restrictions, but was endowed with a subtlety of nature, which, aided by her circumstances, made her yet more a being of inconsistencies and contradictions. Iii religion it was not enough for her to conform; zeal drove her into the extremest forms of ritualistic observance. Nor did care for her personal salvation suffice; the logic of a compassionate nature led her on to various forms of missionary activity; she haunted vile localities, ministering alike to soul and body. At the same time she relished keenly the delights of the masquerading sphere, where her wealth and her beauty made her doubly welcome. From praying by the bedside of a costermonger's wife, she would speed away to shine among the brightest in phantasmagoric drawing-rooms; her mother could seldom accompany her, but there was always some one ready to chaperon Beatrice Redwing. Once in the world from which thought is banished, she seemed as thoughtless as any. Her spiritual convictions put no veto even upon dancing. Yet her mood at such times was not the entire self-abandonment of the girl who is born but to waltz. In spite of the sanction of custom, she could not wholly suppress her virginal instincts, and, however unconsciously, something in her nature held itself aloof. She led a life of indecision. Combining in herself such contradictory elements, she was unable to make close friendships. Her intimacy with Mrs. Rossall, which dated from her late childhood, was not the perfect accord which may subsist between women of very different characters, yet here she gave and received more sympathy than elsewhere. It was her frequent saying that she came to Mrs. Rossall's house when she wanted to rest. Here she could be herself, could pass without interval from pietistic argument to chatter about her neighbours, could indulge in impulses of confession as with no one else, could put off the strain of existence which was the result of her conflicting impulses. But it was only during a portion of the year that she could have Mrs. Rossall's society at other times, though no one suspected it, she suffered much from loneliness. With her mother she was in accord on the subjects of religion and music, but even natural affection, blending with these sympathies, could not bring about complete unity in her home there was the same lack that she experienced in the outer world. For all her versatility, she was not in appearance emotional; no one seemed less likely to be overcome by passion. Her enthusiasms fell short of the last note of sincerity. Perhaps it was on this account that she produced no strong impression, in spite of her beauty. Her personality suffered on acquaintance from defect of charm. Was it a half-consciousness of this that led her now and then into the curious affectation of childishness already remarked? Did she feel unable to rely for pleasing upon those genuine possessions which for sonic reason could never advantageously display themselves? …

      For more than an hour she slept. At her waking she found Minnie standing by her side.

      'Are your lessons over?' she asked, passing at once into full consciousness, without sign of having slept.

      The child replied that they were.

      'Where is Miss Hood?'

      'In the summer-house.'

      Beatrice rose, and they walked towards the summer-house together. It was in a corner of the garden, hidden among acacias and laurels, a circular hut in the ordinary style. Patty and the governess were seated within. Beatrice entered, and took a scat with them.

      'Is your memory as good as my own, Miss Hood?' she said pleasantly. 'Do you remember our meeting four years ago?'

      The other regarded her with quiet surprise, and said she had no recollection of the meeting.

      'Not at Mr. Baxendale's, my uncle's, one day that you lunched with us when I was staying there?'

      Miss Hood had wholly forgotten the circumstance. It served, however, for the commencement of a conversation, which went en till Mrs. Rossall, finding the hammock deserted, was guided by the sound of voices to where the two girls and the children sat.

      In the afternoon there was a setting forth into the country. Mr. Athel drove his sister and the children; Wilfrid and Beatrice accompanied them on horseback. The course to be pursued having been determined, the riders were not at pains to keep the carriage always within sight.

      'Why did Miss Hood decline to come?' Mr. Athel inquired, shortly after they had started.

      She gave no reason, Mrs. Rossall replied. 'It was her choice to stay at home.'

      'Of course you asked her in a proper way?'

      'Why, Philip, of course I did.'

      'Miss Hood never alters her mind,' remarked Patty.

      'Never,' exclaimed the other twin with decision.

      'An admirable characteristic,' commented their uncle, 'provided her decision is right to begin with.'

      Beatrice had just led off at a gallop; Wilfrid necessarily followed her. When the pace slackened they began to talk of Indifferent things. On the crest of a hill, whence the carriage could be seen far away on the white road, the girl reined in, and, turning to her companion, asked abruptly—

      'What is your opinion of Miss Hood?'

      'Why do you ask such a question?'

      'Because I should like to know. She interests me, and you must have had opportunities enough lately of studying her character?'

      'Why does she interest you?'

      'I can't say. I thought you might help me to discover the reason. You have often said that you liked women of strongly marked character.'

      'How do you conclude that she is one?'

      'I feel it; we were talking together before lunch. I don't think I like her; I don't think she has principles.'

      Wilfrid laughed.

      'Principles! The word is vague. You mean, no doubt, that she doesn't seem to have commonplace prejudices.'

      'That's just what I wanted you to say.'

      She let her horse move on. The young man followed, his eyes gazing absently before him, a smile fixed upon his lips.

      Beatrice looked over her shoulder.

      'Does she read the same kind of books that you do?'

      'Unfortunately I read no books at all.'

      She paused again to let him get to her side.

      'What a pity it can't continue!'

      'What?'

      'Your inability to read.'

      'That is the kindest remark I have heard for a long time!' exclaimed Wilfrid with a good-natured laugh.

      'Very likely it is, though you don't mean it. When you read, you only poison your mind. It is your reading that has made you what you are, without faith, without feeling. You dissect everything, you calculate motives cynically, you have learnt to despise everyone who believes what you refuse to, you make your own intellect the centre of the world. You are dangerous.'

      'What a character! To whom am I dangerous?'

      'To