George Daniel

Merrie England in the Olden Time


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The “tall May-pole” that “onee o'erlooked the Strand,”

       (about the year 1717,) Sir Isaac Newton begged of the

       parish, and it was carried to Wanstead in Essex, where it

       was erected in the park, and had the honour of raising the

       greatest telescope then known. The New Church occupies its

       site.

       “But now (so Anne and piety ordain),

       A church collects the saints of Drury Lane.”

      and dancing! * For the disciples of Stubbes and Prynne having discovered by their sage oracles, that May-games were derived from the Floralian Feasts and interludes of the pagan Romans, which were solemnised on the first of May; and that dancing round a May-pole, adorned with garlands of flowers, ribbons, and other ornaments, was idolatry, after the fashion of Baal's worshippers, who capered about the altar in honour of their idol; resolved that the Goddess Flora should no longer receive the gratulations of Maid Marian, Friar Tuck, and Robin Hood's merry men, on a fine May morning; a superstition derived from the Sibyl's books, horribly papistical and pagan.

      * “Good fellowes must go learne to daunce

       The brydeal is full near a:

       There is a brail come out of Fraunce,

       The fyrst ye harde this yeare a.

       For I must leape, and thou must hoppe,

       And we must turne all three a;

       The fourth must bounce it like a toppe,

       And so we shall agree a.

       praye the mynstrell make no stoppe,

       For we wyll merye be a.”

       From an unique black letter ballad, printed in 1569,

       “Intytuled, 'Good Fellowes must go learne to Daunce.'”

      Nor was the “precise villain” less industrious in confiscation and sacrilege. * Painted windows—Lucifer's Missal drawings!—he took infinite pains to destroy; and with his long pike did the devil's work diligently. He could endure no cross ** but that on silver; hence the demolition of those beautiful edifices that once adorned Cheapside, and other remarkable sites in ancient times.

      * Sir Robert Howard has drawn an excellent picture of a

       Puritan family, in his comedy of “The Committee.” The

       personages are Mr. Day, chairman to the committee of

       sequestrations; Mrs. Day, “the committee-man's utensil,”

       with “curled hair, white gloves, and Sabbath-day's cinnamon

       waistcoat;” Abel, their booby son, a fellow “whose heart is

       down in his breeches at every turn and Obadiah, chief clerk,

       dull, drawling, and heinously given to strong waters. We are

       admitted into the sanctum sanctorum, of pious fraud, where

       are seated certain honourable members, whose names cannot

       fail to enforce respect. Nehemiah Catch, Joseph Blemish,

       Jonathan Headstrong, and Ezekiel Scrape! The work of plunder

       goes bravely on. The robbing of widows and orphans is

       “building up the new Zion.” A parcel of notched rascals

       laying their heads together to cheat is “the cause of the

       righteous prospering when brethren dwell together in unity

       and when a canting brother gives up lying and the ghost, Mr.

       Day remarks that “Zachariah went off full of exhortation!”

       It was at the sacking of Basing House, the seat of the

       venerable Marquis of Winchester, that Harrison, the regicide

       and butcher's son, shot Major Robinson, exclaiming as he did

       the deed, “Cursed is he that doeth the work of the Lord

       negligently.” Hugh Peters, the buffooning priest, was of the

       party.

       ** The erection of upright stone crosses is generally

       supposed to have dated its origin from the custom which the

       first Christians in this island adopted of inscribing the

       Druid stones with a cross, that the worship of the converted

       idolator might be transferred from the idol to the emblem of

       his faith; and afterwards the Saxon kings frequently erected

       crosses previously to a battle, at which public prayers were

       offered up for victory. After the Norman conquest crosses

       became common, and were erected in market-places, to induce

       honesty by the sanction of religion: in churchyards, to

       inspire devout and pious feelings; in streets, for the

       deposit of a corpse when borne to its last home; and for

       various other purposes. Here the beggar stationed himself,

       and asked alms in the name of Him who suffered on the cross.

       They were used for landmarks, that men might learn to

       respect and hold sacred the boundaries of another's

       property. Du Cange says that crosses were erected in the

       14th Richard II. as landmarks to define the boundaries

       between Kesteven and Holland. They were placed on public

       roads as a check to thieves, and to regulate processions. At

       the Reformation (?!! ) most of the crosses throughout the

       kingdom were destroyed, when the sweeping injunction of

       Bishop Horne was formally promulgated at his Visitation in

       1571, that all images of the Trinity in glass windows, or

       other places of the church, be put out and extinguished,

       together with the stone cross in the churchyard! We devoutly

       hope, as Dr. Johnson hoped of John Knox, that Bishop Horne

       was buried in a cross-road.

      The sleek rogue read his Bible * upside down, and hated his neighbour: his piety was pelf; his godliness gluttony.

      * “They like none but sanctified and shuttle-headed weavers,

       long-winded boxmakers, and thorough-stitching cobblers,

       thumping felt-makers, jerking coachmen, and round-headed

       button-makers, which spoyle Bibles while they thumb over the

       leaves with their greasie fingers, and sit by the fireside

       scumming their porridge-pot, while their zeal seethes over

       in applications and interpretations of Scripture delivered

       to their ignorant wives and handmaids, with the name and

       title of deare brethren and especially beloved sisters.”—

       The doleful Lamentation of Cheapside Crosse, or Old England

       sick of the Staggers, 1641.

      His grace * was as long as his face. The gnat, like Macbeth's “Amen,” stuck in his throat; but the camel slid down merrily. What a weary, working-day world would this have been under his unhospitable dominion! ** How unlovely and lachrymose! how sectarian and sinister! A bumper of bitters, to be swallowed with a rising gorge, and a wry face! All literature would have resolved itself into—

      * One Lady D'Arcy, a well-jointured, puritanical