The griffin classics

The Collected Works of Honore de Balzac


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of various receptions of new clerks, distinguished from one another by different writing and different inks, also by quotations, signatures, and praises of good cheer and wines, which seemed to show that each report was written and signed on the spot, “inter pocula.”

      Finally, under date of the month of June, 1822, the period when Desroches took the oath, appears this constitutional declaration: —

      I, the undersigned, Francois-Claude-Marie Godeschal, called by

      Maitre Desroches to perform the difficult functions of head-clerk

      in a Practice where the clients have to be created, having learned

      through Maitre Derville, from whose office I come, of the

      existence of the famous archives architriclino-basochien, so

      celebrated at the Palais, have implored our gracious master to

      obtain them from his predecessor; for it has become of the highest

      importance to recover a document bearing date of the year 1786,

      which is connected with other documents deposited for safe-keeping

      at the Palais, the existence of which has been certified to by

      Messrs. Terrasse and Duclos, keepers of records, by the help of

      which we may go back to the year 1525, and find historical

      indications of the utmost value on the manners, customs, and

      cookery of the clerical race.

      Having received a favorable answer to this request, the present

      office has this day been put in possession of these proofs of the

      worship in which our predecessors held the Goddess Bottle and good

      living.

      In consequence thereof, for the edification of our successors, and

      to renew the chain of years and goblets, I, the said Godeschal,

      have invited Messieurs Doublet, second clerk; Vassal, third clerk;

      Herisson and Grandemain, clerks; and Dumets, sub-clerk, to

      breakfast, Sunday next, at the “Cheval Rouge,” on the Quai

      Saint-Bernard, where we will celebrate the victory of obtaining

      this volume which contains the Charter of our gullets.

      This day, Sunday, June 27th, were imbibed twelve bottles of twelve

      different wines, regarded as exquisite; also were devoured melons,

      “pates au jus romanum,” and a fillet of beef with mushroom sauce.

      Mademoiselle Mariette, the illustrious sister of our head-clerk

      and leading lady of the Royal Academy of music and dancing, having

      obligingly put at the disposition of this Practice orchestra seats

      for the performance of this evening, it is proper to make this

      record of her generosity. Moreover, it is hereby decreed that the

      aforesaid clerks shall convey themselves in a body to that noble

      demoiselle to thank her in person, and declare to her that on the

      occasion of her first lawsuit, if the devil sends her one, she

      shall pay the money laid out upon it, and no more.

      And our head-clerk Godeschal has been and is hereby proclaimed a

      flower of Basoche, and, more especially, a good fellow. May a man

      who treats so well be soon in treaty for a Practice of his own!

      On this record were stains of wine, pates, and candle-grease. To exhibit the stamp of truth that the writers had managed to put upon these records, we may here give the report of Oscar’s own pretended reception: —

      This day, Monday, November 25th, 1822, after a session held

      yesterday at the rue de la Cerisaie, Arsenal quarter, at the house

      of Madame Clapart, mother of the candidate-basochien Oscar Husson,

      we, the undersigned, declare that the repast of admission

      surpassed our expectations. It was composed of radishes, pink and

      black, gherkins, anchovies, butter and olives for hors-d’oeuvre; a

      succulent soup of rice, bearing testimony to maternal solicitude,

      for we recognized therein a delicious taste of poultry; indeed, by

      acknowledgment of the new member, we learned that the gibbets of a

      fine stew prepared by the hands of Madame Clapart herself had been

      judiciously inserted into the family soup-pot with a care that is

      never taken except in such households.

      Item: the said gibbets inclosed in a sea of jelly.

      Item: a tongue of beef with tomatoes, which rendered us all

      tongue-tied automatoes.

      Item: a compote of pigeons with caused us to think the angels had

      had a finger in it.

      Item: a timbale of macaroni surrounded by chocolate custards.

      Item: a dessert composed of eleven delicate dishes, among which we

      remarked (in spite of the tipsiness caused by sixteen bottles of

      the choicest wines) a compote of peaches of august and mirobolant

      delicacy.

      The wines of Roussillon and those of the banks of the Rhone

      completely effaced those of Champagne and Burgundy. A bottle of

      maraschino and another of kirsch did, in spite of the exquisite

      coffee, plunge us into so marked an oenological ecstasy that we

      found ourselves at a late hour in the Bois de Boulogne instead of

      our domicile, where we thought we were.

      In the statutes of our Order there is one rule which is rigidly

      enforced; namely, to allow all candidates for the privilege of

      Basoche to limit the magnificence of their feast of welcome to the

      length of their purse; for it is publicly notorious that no one

      delivers himself up to Themis if he has a fortune, and every clerk

      is, alas, sternly curtailed by his parents. Consequently, we

      hereby record with the highest praise the liberal conduct of

      Madame Clapart, widow, by her first marriage, of Monsieur Husson,

      father of the candidate, who is worthy of the hurrahs which we

      gave for her at dessert.

      To all of which we hereby set our hands.

      [Signed by all the clerks.]

      Three clerks had already been deceived by the Book, and three real “receptions of welcome,” were recorded on this imposing register.

      The day after the arrival of each neophyte, the little sub-clerk (the errand-boy and “gutter-jumper”) laid upon the new-comer’s desk the “Archives Architriclino-Basochiennes,” and the clerks enjoyed the sight of his countenance as he studied its facetious pages. Inter pocula each candidate had learned the secret of the farce, and the revelation inspired him with the desire to hoax