you may accompany me as my squire.”
I didn’t want to be his squire. All I wanted to do was figure out how to get home before Mom got mad at me. We kept on riding, and after a couple of miles we came within sight of the building Sir Don had pointed to earlier. Getting up close, I could see that it wasn’t a castle, but instead some sort of country inn—and not a very nice one. When I told Sir Don that it was an inn and not a castle, he turned red in the face and swore it was a castle, as any true knight should recognize. I didn’t want to argue with him—I just wanted to find a phone to call my mom—so I pretended to agree.
When we rode up to the front of the inn, the owner looked at us with a funny expression.
“Good sir, you have many welts and bruises. How did this happen?”.
Sir Don said that he had fallen off his horse onto some rocks. I guess he was worried the innkeeper wouldn’t believe the story about the knights in black armor. When the innkeeper’s wife came out and saw how bruised and battered Sir Don was, she asked her husband to help him off his horse. Then she put her arm in his and took him to a room. With her daughter holding a lantern for light, she washed all Sir Don’s bruises and scrapes and put some sort of ointment on them. After this treatment, Sir Don felt quite a bit better.
“Thank you, dear lady. I shall bear the services you have done me eternally inscribed in my memory, so that I may remain grateful to you all the days of my life. Now could you help me but a bit more by seeing to the needs of my faithful squire, Sandy. He wishes to know if you have anywhere in this castle a device he calls a ‘cell phone’.”
The woman and her daughter snickered when Sir Don called their inn a castle, but they had a completely blank look about the cell phone. “Dear Sir knight, what ever you need we will gladly share with you and your squire, but I know not of what you speak. What is this ‘cell phone’?”
“You know, you use it to talk to someone who isn’t here. But if you don’t have a cell phone, maybe I can use your landline. Remember? The one with wires and a dial tone?”
They just stared at me. No matter how I tried to describe it, it finally became clear to me that they had never heard of a telephone, and they certainly didn’t have one.
There was no way I could figure out to let Mom know where I was. Since it was getting dark outside, I figured I had better spend the night here with Sir Don, and find my way back home tomorrow. I knew my mom would be really worried. I hoped she wouldn’t call the police to tell them I had run away, or even worse, that someone had kidnapped me. What would the cops do to Sir Don if they found him taking me away? What would Mom say? I just hoped she would understand when I told her what had happened.
Chapter 4
In which Sandy gets bounced, and we meet an army of sheep
In the morning, Sir Don seemed to have recovered from his bruises, and was anxious to set out immediately in search of adventures. Not waiting for me, he saddled Rocinante, and bridled Dapple. Then he mounted his horse and, seeing a long wooden pole propped up against the wall of the barn, grabbed it to carry with him.
By that time the other people who had been staying at the inn were up and around, and most of them were watching him. Riding up to the front of the inn, Sir Don took his new lance and pounded on the door.
“Many and great are the favors that I have received at your castle, and I shall remain deeply obliged for them all the days of my life. If I can repay you by taking vengeance for you on some one who has done you an injustice, just remember that it is my duty to protect the helpless and to avenge wrongs. If you have anything of this kind you wish me to do for you, you have only to say so, and I promise you, by my order of knighthood, I will do it.”
Looking somewhat worried, the innkeeper replied, “Sir Knight, I do not need you to avenge any injuries, for I know how to deal with people myself who do me an injustice. I only want you to pay the bill you have run up for staying the night at my inn, for the food you have eaten, and for fodder for your animals.”
“You mean this is an inn and not a castle?”
“Yes, and a very respectable one.”
“Then I have been in error all this time, for I truly thought that it was a castle, and a very fine one at that. Once again the evil wizard has fooled me, causing my eyes to see a castle where there was only a country inn. But since it is an inn and not a castle, the only thing to do is for you to excuse me from paying, for I cannot break the knight errant’s rule. Knights errant never pay for their lodging. It is the duty of all those who meet a knight such as I to welcome them into their home without payment. All must do this out of respect for the work knights errant do to right wrongs and uphold justice.”
“The only justice I want is to be paid for you and your assistant here having spent the night in my inn. Pay up, or you’ll be sorry!”
“This I cannot do.” Sir Don grabbed his lance and rode out of the gate—leaving me standing there next to the innkeeper.
“Well, young man, what are you going to do about paying the bill for this crazy knight?”
I had three dollars from my allowance in my pocket, and offered that to the innkeeper. He laughed and threw it on the ground. American money wasn’t going to do me any good in this place. “I’m sorry sir, but that’s the only money I have. And Sir Don’s not crazy; he’s just a little strange.”
The innkeeper turned to the crowd of people who’d gathered around. “Well, my good fellows, you know what we do to guests who can’t pay their bill. Go to it!”
Before I knew it, someone brought out a thick, woolen blanket and stretched it out. They all grabbed an edge, making it like a trampoline. The innkeeper lifted me up onto the blanket, and the people holding it started to toss me up and down. At first it was scary, but then it started to be fun. I had learned how to bounce on a trampoline at summer camp, so I knew just what to do. Every time I came down, I just relaxed. When I hit the blanket, they would toss me a little higher. I started to laugh—this was even better than a trampoline. I must have bounced six feet in the air!
After about five minutes, they stopped the bouncing and I got off. I knew I shouldn’t hang around much longer, so I looked for Dapple. He was over munching on a pile of hay by the stable. I got on and started to ride away from the inn, in the same direction I had seen Sir Don going.
It only took me about ten minutes to find Sir Don. He was waiting for me under a tree. He had watched the whole blanket-bouncing episode. He apologized for not having come to rescue me when the innkeeper had put me on the blanket. “Are you sure that wasn’t a castle? For if it had been a castle, then I would have come at once to your aid, for it is a knight errant’s duty to protect one such as you from injustice.”
“Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t all that bad. After a while it wasn’t so scary. It started to be fun. But if you ever stay at that inn again, I really hope you have some money with you, ’cause the innkeeper was really mad.”
“I assure you that I will never set foot inside that castle—I mean that inn again. It is not worthy of having one such as I stay there. Now let us continue our search for adventure.”
“I’m getting worried about being away from home so long. Couldn’t you just tell me which way Boise is?”
“In all of Spain there is no such place as Boise. Perhaps you mean Barcelona?”
“No, I mean Boise. And why are you talking about Spain? We’re in Idaho.”
Then it finally dawned on me. I wasn’t in Idaho—I was in Spain. There were no cars here, no power poles, and no one had heard of a cell phone. I wasn’t even sure I was still in the 21st century. I knew I wasn’t dreaming. I just didn’t have a clue how I got here.
“Sandy, since there is no Boise around here, I think you will just have to stay with me a while longer. I’m sure we can find your home soon. Until we do, I encourage you to be patient. Before you and I