Tondria Leatrice

Lovely Vines


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      Lovely Vines

      Tondria Leatrice

      Copyright © 2020 Tondria Leatrice

      All rights reserved

      First Edition

      Fulton Books, Inc.

      Meadville, PA

      Published by Fulton Books 2020

      ISBN 978-1-64654-485-1 (paperback)

      ISBN 978-1-64654-486-8 (digital)

      Printed in the United States of America

      Table of Contents

       Chapter 1

       Saria Is My Stage Name

       Queen Is My Street and Stage Name

       The Spot Where It Goes Down

       Finding My Own Way

       Making It Harder Than It Is

       Letting It Go

       Damn! Not Again

       Business as Usual

       Coming Out

       Allowing Direction

       The Life

       Quit Trying Me

       Smoothly

       Going as Planned

       Trying the Real

       Why

       I’m Gone

       The Digging Begins

       Damn

       The Circle

       ?

       Truth, My Ass

       Mastermind

       No

       Trying to Deal

       Numb

       Confused

       The Wrong One

       It’s Whatever

       Business Only

       Making Moves

       No Direction! No Feelings!

       What

       Me, Myself, and I

       Something Has to Give

      To my lovely mother, Ada Thomas.

      I love you with all my heart, and I remember you said, “And you better finish that book,” and I did it for you.

      May God continue to bless your family with your beautiful memories. I know you are missed by many, and this void we have can never be replaced.

      We love you, Ma.

      In loving memory of Vernada and Zola.

      Acknowledgments

      I acknowledge the dominant system that took a part of me in three ways, leaving my mind wandering and acknowledging I couldn’t do anything at all. I learned the power of patience through this system and a mother’s emptiness to the fullest, not being able to give a hug through a call. The power of lonely nights without a call can break the most influential person, not knowing what’s going on behind the walls that I acknowledge took three from me.

      I also acknowledge the power of love for the child can turn into prayers which led me to write this book in those long three years, with only three people telling me that I would not fall.

      I acknowledge the phone calls from my mother and father telling me everything was gonna be okay and my sister Melissa Shaw for telling to my face, “I see the pain through the fake smile,” and I want to acknowledge them for knowing a mother’s pain.

      I also acknowledge my little brothers Richard, Calvin, Dakar, and Eli and my uncles Freddy, Anthony, Raymond, and Bill for being some of the realest men I know and teaching me the value of a man. I give thanks to my best friend Theo for listening to me vent, reading my ideas, telling me I could do it, and staying true through it all.

      Part 1

      Who Am I

      Chapter 1

      Samaya

      Saria Is My Stage Name

      “Run, Samaya, run!” Queen shouted as they ducked behind the car. Samaya saw the shadows getting closer and moving past swiftly, and heard the whistle sounds go past her ears as the shadows disappeared. Bang, bang, bang. “Get down, Samaya!” Queen screamed again.

      The shooters jumped in the car speeding off, shooting, and each time they shot, a window shattered right next to her face.

      Every time the disco lights on the ceiling glared in her face, she thought about that night, seeing the flare from the gunfire.

      When