about this matter… my thoughts and feelings mix in a turmoil state of mind I have. Currently, I try to finish my new work as fast as I can, no matter that indeed there were moments when I regarded it like the oeuvre. And at some moment I thought that maybe I shouldn’t hurry up too much, but to prepare the ground for it and wait for revelations and glimpses that should be developing momentum for the great work. I really don’t think it is a crazy idea to think about a doc film as about the piece of art. I mean, at least, such thing can be one in theory. So, I thought maybe it was better just to collect some material and to concentrate on the work mentally.
Just some days ago I was asked to do some job. And now I’m obliged to make a film on the topic that isn’t my primal interest. I say obliged, because I mean I didn’t want to do it, especially borrowing time from my project number one. I mean, that looks to me like wasting time. But that was the order from the company which is one of the very few clients asking for our production. That means that we really depend on them. That means we depend on their cramped audience and the soap, cola and bouillon cube advertisers. That means if we – first of all me as director and author – don’t make exactly what they ask for and when they ask, we’ll go out of the industry. And I will need to find some other job to do in the case.
And so, in a state like this, I receive The Call. And here comes the voice on the other side of the wire which shakes my life entirely. At the moment, I could not know it. I felt crazy and irritated from the very morning. But then I also sensed that this could be the most interesting.
A voice on the other end offered me to be provided with information of great importance. In the situation like that, there was too much of everything-for-you thing. And it was the voice itself that didn’t sound natural to me. It was like it was produced by some vocal synthesizer or was computer-effect masked. Early in our conversation, I started to feel that there had to be something wrong with it. And most probably, it seemed to be some crazy joke. Since the day the telephone was once introduced by Mr. Bell to humanity, there was always a part of this humanity that played in the way like this to entertain themselves with such a silly game.
And step by step, as one phrase was added after another, the thing felt strange. At some moment, it didn’t look funny at all, but really strange. Almost from the beginning, a guy who was on the other end of the line started to perform tricks that I am still not able to understand. He was telling me about things that no one except me could know. At least, I thought so before that moment. He was telling me about what I was doing yesterday and some days ago and also my numbers, passwords and all the most intimate data things. How can anybody know what I use to open my e-mail? I’ve been hacked or something.
Nobody could know that much about me. I hardly can say that I have any close friends of mine. And I don’t remember any stable personal relations – including these with women – in recent years. Now I think all this was done to make me agree to no matter what proposed. But when you propose to a journalist, a writer or any television man something really sensational, why would you play so much of a game then? Why almost threaten?
There are questions you can’t answer. Especially, when there are other people’s minds and the other people’s plans involved. So, all I know I should get to the place at a time fixed to be ready to receive some sensational material which should be revealed through media, the requirements provided. And it was stressed that I should never tell anybody about details of this meeting.
I was so shocked that for some instants it seemed to me I did not know what to do then. When indeed deep inside I knew, of course. And then I noticed I was watched by Elise. As I understand, I looked strange and astonished. Possibly a little weird. And she looked at me in some peculiar way. I just forgot what I asked her about before and why she was standing right then and there, catching me in a state like this. And finally, I was a little irritated about her. She was standing in front of me with her long unwashed hair hanging down. Gosh, why does not she try to be a little more of a woman? She is not that bad I should admit. Now I consider that subconsciously I chose to hire her among all of the opportunities – actually not a great variety of candidates – also because she had the most attractive looks. And she indeed can be a rather attractive girl. She is rather handsome. Sure she is. But maybe, some strange people like me tend to get together with other people who are a little strange too, somehow.
So, I cast an irritated glance at Elise after being not able to understand what she wanted from me. And then I rushed out of the room to prepare myself, alone, to get ready for the meeting that was so inevitable then. That seemed that the voice on the other end had the real power or either way represented it. So there were no ways out and no real escape then. Just wait for what will happen next. And just do what you can.
Some Notes on Documentary Films. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin
I do not know how it happened this way, but now I am supposed to make two docs when initially all the strength of my poor troubled mind was directed to the embodiment of one movie only. This one movie had to be something about international industry giants, modern conglomerates that control so much of human lives around the globe. In contemporary reality, it is so common when two or three corporations have almost the entire control over the industry. And so, this way or the other, they do influence the world. They change it in a particular way.
And this film should’ve had some rather pathetic title like Towers of Power or Babel Towers or Power Incorporated or something else dealing with towers and powers.
Architecture is all about some symbols. Why does any corporation in the city desire to erect a new skyscraping tower higher than any other one did before? Why they want their office to be placed higher than all other offices? They really want to dominate no matter what. What a peculiar reincarnation of primal biological motives inside a system of the corporate machinery. They want to be bigger and wider than others more than they want profits. Profits are just their instrument to get bigger. That is their food of the gods. People want the profits, but corporations do not. They just want to get bigger, no matter what their so much respected shareholders want.
That is the thing I was initially interested in. That was supposed to be something with the POV and at the same time embracing the entire human race in its scales.
But they asked me to do something else. What a nice case it is! I just encountered an incorporated strength of the giants about whom I wanted to tell the world into a shape of the network on which I depend and which is in some way or the other is another dominion of another international multi-conglomerate.
The film I was told to make is supposed to be about prostitution. That is quite a hot topic our days with all of this disputed state legalization and the human smuggling from Eastern Europe. That is such a big world embracing many levels from the bottom of bordellos to the top luxury of pro escort ladies providing their services to the rich people from privileged society. Yes, the topic is not bad for a doc. But that was quite irritating to be forced to do what I did not intend to. And why me? There is such a variety of TV people who can do it. It is true that some of my investigating documentaries connected in their issue to politics and crime achieved some modest success, but that won’t help much in the matter.
When beginning a new thing ordered by the network, I would go through some usual dull ritual. I would call to one person representing them just to check out whether there are requirements about which I don’t know. But usually, I always know about all the requirements. And the truth is that in this way I just report to them that their order is received and will be executed.
So, I picked up the instrument and dialed the number to connect to someone whom I know and about whom I had never cared and who knows me and who had never cared about me too.
So, what things exactly do you want me to discuss in the film? I asked somewhere in the middle of a dull talk. There should be something interesting. Find and show it. Show it in diversity. I mean in different kinds of it, from a low side of it to the top of it where the big money flow. That was the answer I received. Go and get it from down to up, from left to right.
Oct, 29. Morning. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin
The day when I was going to meet Mr. Shadow. At morning it was misty. Indeed, a mist covered an area for many blocks ahead from my place. As it was agreed, I was supposed to meet a stranger on the spot.