Lewis Carroll

The Complete Novels of Lewis Carroll (Illustrated Edition)


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      "I beg your pardon?" said the mouse, frowning, but very politely, "did you speak?"

      "Not I!" said the Lory hastily.

      "I thought you did," said the mouse, "I proceed. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him; and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown. William's conduct was at first moderate—how are you getting on now, dear?" said the mouse, turning to Alice as it spoke.

      "As wet as ever," said poor Alice, "it doesn't seem to dry me at all."

      "In that case," said the Dodo solemnly, rising to his feet, "I move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies—"

      "Speak English!" said the Duck, "I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and what's more, I don't believe you do either!" And the Duck quacked a comfortable laugh to itself. Some of the other birds tittered audibly.

      "I only meant to say," said the Dodo in a rather offended tone, "that I know of a house near here, where we could get the young lady and the rest of the party dried, and then we could listen comfortably to the story which I think you were good enough to promise to tell us," bowing gravely to the mouse.

      The mouse made no objection to this, and the whole party moved along the river bank, (for the pool had by this time began to flow out of the hall, and the edge of it was fringed with rushes and forget-me-nots,) in a slow procession, the Dodo leading the way. After a time the Dodo became impatient, and, leaving the Duck to bring up the rest of the party, moved on at a quicker pace with Alice, the Lory, and the Eaglet, and soon brought them to a little cottage, and there they sat snugly by the fire, wrapped up in blankets, until the rest of the party had arrived, and they were all dry again.

      Then they all sat down again in a large ring on the bank, and begged the mouse to begin his story.

      "Mine is a long and a sad tale!" said the mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing.

      "It is a long tail, certainly," said Alice, looking down with wonder at the mouse's tail, which was coiled nearly all round the party, "but why do you call it sad?" and she went on puzzling about this as the mouse went on speaking, so that her idea of the tale was something like this:

      We lived beneath the mat

       Warm and snug and fat

       But one woe, & that

       Was the cat!

       To our joys

       a clog, In

       our eyes a

       fog, On our

       hearts a log

       Was the dog!

       When the

       cat's away,

       Then

       the mice

       will

       play,

       But, alas!

       one day, (So they say)

       Came the dog and

       cat, Hunting

       for a

       rat,

       Crushed

       the mice

       all flat;

       Each

       one

       as

       he

       sat.

       U

       n

       d

       e

       r

       n

       e

       a

       t

       h

       t

       h

       e

       m

       a

       t

       ,

       m r a W

       g u n s &

       t a f &

       T h i n k?

       o f t h a t!

      "You are not attending!" said the mouse to Alice severely, "what are you thinking of?"

      "I beg your pardon," said Alice very humbly, "you had got to the fifth bend, I think?"

      "I had not!" cried the mouse, sharply and very angrily.

      "A knot!" said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking anxiously about her, "oh, do let me help to undo it!"

      "I shall do nothing of the sort!" said the mouse, getting up and walking away from the party, "you insult me by talking such nonsense!"

      "I didn't mean it!" pleaded poor Alice, "but you're so easily offended, you know."

      The mouse only growled in reply.

      "Please come back and finish your story!" Alice called after it, and the others all joined in chorus "yes, please do!" but the mouse only shook its ears, and walked quickly away, and was soon out of sight.

      "What a pity it wouldn't stay!" sighed the Lory, and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to its daughter "Ah, my dear! let this be a lesson to you never to lose your temper!" "Hold your tongue, Ma!" said the young Crab, a little snappishly, "you're enough to try the patience of an oyster!"

      "I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!" said Alice aloud, addressing no one in particular, "she'd soon fetch it back!"

      "And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?" said the Lory.

      Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet, "Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for catching mice, you can't think! And oh! I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!"

      This answer caused a remarkable sensation among the party: some of the birds hurried off at once; one old magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking "I really must be getting home: the night air does not suit my throat," and a canary called out in a trembling voice to its children "come away from her, my dears, she's no fit company for you!" On various pretexts, they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.

      She sat for some while sorrowful and silent, but she was not long before she recovered her spirits, and began talking to herself again as usual: "I do wish some of them had stayed a little longer! and I was getting to be such friends with them—really the Lory and I were almost like sisters! and so was that dear little Eaglet! And then the Duck and the Dodo! How nicely the Duck sang to us as we came along through the water: and if the Dodo hadn't known the way to that nice little cottage, I don't know when we should have got dry again—" and there is no knowing how long she might have prattled on in this way, if she had not suddenly caught the sound of pattering feet.

      It was the white rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking anxiously about it as it went, as if it had lost something, and she heard it muttering to itself "the Marchioness! the Marchioness! oh my dear paws! oh my fur and whiskers! She'll have me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where can I have dropped them, I wonder?" Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking for the nosegay and the pair of white kid gloves, and she began hunting for them, but they were now nowhere to be seen—everything seemed to have changed since her swim in the pool, and her walk along the river-bank