Second Plays. A. A. Milne

      AUNT JANE. I'm sorry to interrupt lessons, Miss Pinniger, but I have brought the Doctor to see Geraldine. (To DOCTOR) You will like her to go to her room?

      DOCTOR. No, no, dear lady. There is no need. Her pulse—(He feels it)——dear, dear! Her tongue—(She puts it out)—tut-tut! A milk diet, plenty of rice-pudding, and perhaps she would do well to go to bed this afternoon.

      AUNT JANE. I will see to it, doctor.

      JILL (mutinously). I feel quite well.

      DOCTOR (to AUNT JANE). A dangerous symptom. Plenty of rice-pudding.

      GOVERNESS. Oliver was coughing just now.

      OLIVER (to himself). Shut up!

      DOCTOR (turning to OLIVER). Ah! His pulse—(Feels it)—tut-tut! His tongue—(OLIVER puts it out) Dear, dear! The same treatment, dear lady, as prescribed in the other case.

      OLIVER (under his breath). Beast!

      AUNT JANE. Castor-oil, liquorice-powder, ammoniated quinine—anything of that nature, doctor?

      DOCTOR. As necessary, dear lady, as necessary. The system must be stimulated. Nature must be reinforced.

      AUNT JANE (to GOVERNESS). Which do they dislike least?

      OLIVER and JILL (hastily). Liquorice-powder!

      DOCTOR. Then concentrate on the other two, dear lady.

      AUNT JANE. Thank you, doctor. [They go out.

      GOVERNESS. We will now go on with our lessons. Oliver, you will have opportunities in your bedroom this afternoon of learning your poetry. By the way, I had better have that book which you were reading when I came in just now.

      OLIVER (trying to be surprised). Which book?

      JILL (nobly doing her best to save the situation). Miss Pinniger, if you're multiplying rods, poles, or perches by nine, does it matter if——

      GOVERNESS. I am talking to Oliver, Geraldine. Where is that book, Oliver?

      OLIVER. Oh, I know the one you mean. I must have put it down somewhere. (He looks vaguely about the room.)

      GOVERNESS. Perhaps you put it in your desk.

      OLIVER. My desk?

      JILL (going up to MISS PINNIGER with her work). You see, it's all gone wrong here, and I think I must have multiplied—— (Moving in front of her as she moves) I think I must have multiplied——

      (Under cover of this, OLIVER makes a great effort to get the book into JILL'S desk, but it is no good.)

      GOVERNESS (brushing aside JILL and advancing on OLIVER). Thank you, I will take it.

      OLIVER (looking at the title). Oh yes, this is the one.