Sylvie and Bruno. Lewis Carroll

it was

       The Middle of Next Week.

       'The one thing I regret,' he said,

       'Is that it cannot speak!”

      —least natural of all that the Vice-Warden and 'my Lady' should be standing close beside me, discussing an open letter, which had just been handed to him by the Professor, who stood, meekly waiting, a few yards off.

      “If it were not for those two brats,” I heard him mutter, glancing savagely at Sylvie and Bruno, who were courteously listening to the Gardener's song, “there would be no difficulty whatever.”

      “Let's hear that bit of the letter again,” said my Lady. And the Vice-Warden read aloud:—

      “—and we therefore entreat you graciously to accept the Kingship, to which you have been unanimously elected by the Council of Elfland: and that you will allow your son Bruno of whose goodness, cleverness, and beauty, reports have reached us—to be regarded as Heir-Apparent.”

      “But what's the difficulty?” said my Lady.

      “Why, don't you see? The Ambassador, that brought this, is waiting in the house: and he's sure to see Sylvie and Bruno: and then, when he sees Uggug, and remembers all that about 'goodness, cleverness, and beauty,' why, he's sure to—”

      “And where will you find a better boy than Uggug?” my Lady indignantly interrupted. “Or a wittier, or a lovelier?”

      To all of which the Vice-Warden simply replied “Don't you be a great blethering goose! Our only chance is to keep those two brats out of sight. If you can manage that, you may leave the rest to me. I'll make him believe Uggug to be a model of cleverness and all that.”

      “We must change his name to Bruno, of course?” said my Lady.

      The Vice-Warden rubbed his chin. “Humph! No!” he said musingly. “Wouldn't do. The boy's such an utter idiot, he'd never learn to answer to it.”

      “Idiot, indeed!” cried my Lady. “He's no more an idiot than I am!”

      “You're right, my dear,” the Vice-Warden soothingly I replied. “He isn't, indeed!”

      My Lady was appeased. “Let's go in and receive the Ambassador,” she said, and beckoned to the Professor. “Which room is he waiting in?” she inquired.

      “In the Library, Madam.”

      “And what did you say his name was?” said the Vice-Warden.

      The Professor referred to a card he held in his hand. “His Adiposity the Baron Doppelgeist.”

      “Why does he come with such a funny name?” said my Lady.

      “He couldn't well change it on the journey,” the Professor meekly replied, “because of the luggage.”

      “You go and receive him,” my Lady said to the Vice-Warden, “and I'll attend to the children.”