E. C. Hartwell

Story Hour Readings: Seventh Year


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family always

       rose with the dawn, dined at eleven, and went to bed

       at sundown. Dinner was invariably a private meal, and

       the fat old burghers showed incontestable symptoms of

       disapprobation and uneasiness on being surprised by a 5

       visit from a neighbor on such occasions. But though our

       worthy ancestors were thus singularly averse to giving

       dinners, yet they kept up the social bonds of intimacy by

       occasional banquetings, called tea parties.

      As this is the first introduction of those delectable orgies 10

       which have since become so fashionable in this city, I am

       conscious my fair readers will be very curious to receive

       information on the subject. Sorry am I that there will be

       but little in my description calculated to excite their admiration.

       I can neither delight them with accounts of suffocating 15

       crowds, nor brilliant drawing rooms, nor towering

       feathers, nor sparkling diamonds, nor immeasurable trains.

      I can detail no choice anecdotes of scandal, for in those

       primitive times the simple folk were either too stupid or

       too good-natured to pull each other's characters to pieces; 20

       nor can I furnish any whimsical anecdotes of brag—how

       one lady cheated or another bounced into a passion; for

       as yet there was no junto of dulcet old dowagers who met

       to win each other's money and lose their own tempers at

       a card table.

      These fashionable parties were generally confined to the

       higher classes, or noblesse; that is to say, such as kept their own cows and drove their own wagons. The company 5 commonly assembled at three o'clock and went away about six, unless it was winter time, when the fashionable hours were a little earlier, that the ladies might get home before dark. I do not find that they ever treated their company to ice creams, jellies, or sillabubs, or regaled them with 10 musty almonds, moldy raisins, or sour oranges, as is often done in the present age of refinement. Our ancestors were fond of more sturdy, substantial fare. The tea table was crowned with a huge earthen dish, well stored with slices of fat pork, fried brown, cut up into morsels, and swimming 15 in gravy.

      The company, being seated around the genial board and

       each furnished with a fork, evinced their dexterity in

       launching at the fattest pieces of this mighty dish in much

       the same manner as sailors harpoon porpoises at sea or 20

       our Indians spear salmon in the lakes. Sometimes the

       table was graced with immense apple pies or saucers full

       of preserved peaches and pears; but it was always sure to

       boast of an enormous dish of balls of sweetened dough

       fried in hog's fat and called doughnuts; a delicious kind25

       of cake, at present scarce known in this city except in genuine

       Dutch families.

      The tea was served out of a majestic delft teapot ornamented

       with paintings of fat little Dutch shepherds and

       shepherdesses tending pigs, with boats sailing in the air30

       and houses built in the clouds, and sundry other ingenious

       Dutch fantasies. The beaux distinguished themselves by

       their adroitness in replenishing this pot from a huge copper

       teakettle which would have made the pigmy macaronis

       of these degenerate days sweat merely to look at it. To

       sweeten the beverage, a lump of sugar was laid beside each

       cup, and the company alternately nibbled and sipped with 5

       great decorum; until an improvement was introduced

       by a shrewd and economic old lady, which was to suspend

       a large lump directly over the tea table by a string from

       the ceiling, so that it could be swung from mouth to mouth—an

       ingenious expedient, which is still kept up by some 10

       families in Albany, but which prevails without exception

       in Communipaw, Bergen, Flatbush, and all our uncontaminated

       Dutch villages.

      At these primitive tea parties the utmost propriety and

       dignity of deportment prevailed. No flirting nor coquetting; 15

       no gambling of old ladies nor hoyden chattering and

       romping of young ones; no self-satisfied struttings of

       wealthy gentlemen with their brains in their pockets nor

       amusing conceits and monkey divertisements of smart

       young gentlemen with no brains at all. 20

      The parties broke up without noise and without confusion.

       They were carried home by their own carriages; that

       is to say, by the vehicles nature had provided them, excepting

       such of the wealthy as could afford to keep a wagon.

      —Knickerbocker's History of New York.

      1. Read some passages in which Irving pokes fun at the Dutch customs; at the customs of his own times.

      2. How was a tea party conducted in New Amsterdam?

      3. Explain these words: incontestable, disapprobation, averse, delectable, orgies, whimsical, junto, dulcet, dowagers, macaronis, pigmy, hoyden, divertisements. Read your definition into the sentence where the word occurs.

       Table of Contents

      By Edward Eggleston

       Table of Contents

      The following description of a pioneer school in Pennsylvania affords a fine opportunity to study the methods of teaching then in vogue. Many of them may appeal to us as being ludicrous; but undoubtedly Dock's teaching was in many ways far in advance of the times, when the usual and most-approved method of "imparting knowledge" consisted in beating ideas into pupils' heads with hickory switches.

      A hundred and fifty years ago there was a famous

       teacher among the German settlers in Pennsylvania,

       who was known as "The Good Schoolmaster." His name

       was Christopher Dock, and he had two little country schools.

       For three days he would teach at a little place called Skippack, 5

       and then for the next three days he would teach at

       Salford.

      People said that the good schoolmaster never lost his

       temper. There was a man who thought he would try to

       make him angry. He said many harsh and abusive words 10

       to the teacher, and even cursed him; but the only reply

       the teacher made was, "Friend,