Saki

The Humour of Saki - 150+ Tales & Sketches in One Edition (Illustrated)


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       Adrian

       The Chaplet

       The Quest

       Wratislav

       The Easter Egg

       Filboid Studge, the Story of a Mouse that Helped

       The Music on the Hill

       The Story of St. Vespaluus

       The Way to the Dairy

       The Peace Offering

       The Peace of Mowsle Barton

       The Talking-Out of Tarrington

       The Hounds of Fate

       The Recessional

       A Matter of Sentiment

       The Secret Sin of Septimus Brope

       “Ministers of Grace”

       The Remoulding of Groby Lington

      TO THE LYNX KITTEN,

      WITH HIS RELUCTANTLY GIVEN CONSENT,

      THIS BOOK IS AFFECTIONATELY

      DEDICATED

      H. H. M.

      August, 1911

      Esmé

       Table of Contents

      “All hunting stories are the same,” said Clovis; “just as all Turf stories are the same, and all —”

      “My hunting story isn’t a bit like any you’ve ever heard,” said the Baroness. “It happened quite a while ago, when I was about twenty-three. I wasn’t living apart from my husband then; you see, neither of us could afford to make the other a separate allowance. In spite of everything that proverbs may say, poverty keeps together more homes than it breaks up. But we always hunted with different packs. All this has nothing to do with the story.”

      “We haven’t arrived at the meet yet. I suppose there was a meet,” said Clovis.

      “Of course there was a meet,” said the Baroness; all the usual crowd were there, especially Constance Broddle. Constance is one of those strapping florid girls that go so well with autumn scenery or Christmas decorations in church. ‘I feel a presentiment that something dreadful is going to happen,’ she said to me; ‘am I looking pale?’

      “She was looking about as pale as a beetroot that has suddenly heard bad news.

      “‘You’re looking nicer than usual,’ I said, ‘but that’s so easy for you.’ Before she had got the right bearings of this remark we had settled down to business; hounds had found a fox lying out in some gorse-bushes.”

      “I knew it,” said Clovis, “in every fox-hunting story that I’ve ever heard there’s been a fox and some gorse-bushes.”

      “Constance and I were well mounted,” continued the Baroness serenely, “and we had no difficulty in keeping ourselves in the first flight, though it was a fairly stiff run. Towards the finish, however, we must have held rather too independent a line, for we lost the hounds, and found ourselves plodding aimlessly along miles away from anywhere. It was fairly exasperating, and my temper was beginning to let itself go by inches, when on pushing our way through an accommodating hedge we were gladdened by the sight of hounds in full cry in a hollow just beneath us.

      “‘There they go,’ cried Constance, and then added in a gasp, ‘In Heaven’s name, what are they hunting?’

      “It was certainly no mortal fox. It stood more than twice as high, had a short, ugly head, and an enormous thick neck.

      “‘It’s a hyaena,’ I cried; ‘it must have escaped from Lord Pabham’s Park.’

      “At that moment the hunted beast turned and faced its pursuers, and the hounds (there were only about six couple of them) stood round in a half-circle and looked foolish. Evidently they had broken away from the rest of the pack on the trail of this alien scent, and were not quite sure how to treat their quarry now they had got him.

      “The hyaena hailed our approach with unmistakable relief and demonstrations of friendliness. It had probably been accustomed to uniform kindness from humans, while its first experience of a pack of hounds had left a bad impression. The hounds looked more than ever embarrassed as their quarry paraded its sudden intimacy with us, and the faint toot of a horn in the distance was seized on as a welcome signal for unobtrusive departure. Constance and I and the hyaena were left alone in the gathering twilight.

      “‘What are we to do?’ asked Constance.

      “‘What a person you are for questions,’ I said.

      “‘Well, we can’t stay here all night with a hyaena,’ she retorted.

      “‘I don’t know what your ideas of comfort are,’ I said; ‘but I shouldn’t think of staying here all night even without a hyaena. My home may be an unhappy one, but at least it has hot and cold water laid on, and domestic service, and other conveniences which we shouldn’t find here. We had better make for that ridge of trees to the right; I imagine the Crowley road is just beyond.’

      “We trotted off slowly along a faintly marked cart-track, with the beast following cheerfully at our heels.

      “‘What on earth are we to do with the hyaena?’ came the inevitable question.

      “‘What does one generally do with hyaenas?’ I asked crossly.

      “‘I’ve never had anything to do with one before,’ said Constance.

      “‘Well, neither have I. If we even knew its sex we might give it a name. Perhaps we might call it Esmé. That would do in either case.’

      “There was still sufficient daylight for us to distinguish wayside objects, and our listless spirits gave an upward perk as we came upon a small half-naked gipsy brat picking blackberries from a low-growing bush. The sudden apparition of two horsewomen and a hyaena set it off crying, and in any case we should scarcely have gleaned any useful geographical information from that source; but there was a probability that we might strike a gipsy encampment somewhere along our route. We rode on hopefully but uneventfully for another mile or so.

      “‘I wonder what that child was doing there,’ said Constance presently.