noble bird! That flight into the corner cost it dear. The next day the cage contained only a cold corpse. Why did I kill it? If its favourite phrase about a husband who killed his wife remin…
My predecessor’s mother when she gave up the lodging to me made me pay for the whole of the furniture, not excepting the photographs of people I did not know. But she did not take a kopeck from me for the expensive parrot. On the eve of her departure for Finland she passed the whole night taking leave of her noble bird. I remember the sobs and the lamentations that accompanied this leave-taking. I remember the tears she shed when asking me to take care of her friend until her return. I gave her my word of honour that her parrot would not regret having made my acquaintance. And I had not kept that word! I had killed the bird. I can imagine what the old woman would say if she knew of the fate of her squawking pet!
CHAPTER XXIII
Somebody tapped gently at my window. The little house in which I lived stood on the high road, and was one of the first houses in the village, and I often heard a tap at my window, especially in bad weather when a wayfarer sought a night’s lodging. This time it was no wayfarer who knocked at my window. I went up to the window and waited there for a flash of lightning, when I saw the dark silhouette of a tall thin man. He was standing before the window and seemed to be shivering with cold. I opened the window.
‘Who is there? What do you want?’ I asked.
‘Sergey Petrovich, it’s me!’ I heard a plaintive voice, such as people have who are starved with cold and fright, it’s me! I’ve come to you, dear friend!’
To my great astonishment, I recognized in the plaintive voice of the dark silhouette the voice of my friend Doctor Pavel Ivanovich. This visit from ‘Screw’, who led a regular life and went to bed before twelve, was quite incomprehensible. What could have caused him to change his rules and appear at my house at two o’clock in the night, and in such weather too?
‘What do you want?’ I asked, at the same time in the bottom of my heart sending this unexpected guest to the devil.
‘Forgive me, golubchek… I wanted to knock at the door, but your Polycarp is sure to be sleeping like a dead man now, so I decided to tap at the window.’
‘But what do you want?’
Pavel Ivanovich came close up to my window and mumbled something incomprehensible. He was trembling, and looked like a drunken man.
‘I am listening!’ I said, losing my patience.
‘You… you are angry, I see; but… if you only knew all that has happened you would cease to be angry at your sleep being disturbed by visitors at an unseemly hour. It’s no time for sleep now. Oh, my God, my God! I have lived in the world for thirty years, and today is the first time I’ve ever been so terribly unhappy! I am unhappy, Sergey Petrovich!’
‘Ach! but what has happened? And what have I to do with it? I myself can scarcely stand on my legs… I can’t be bothered about others!’
‘Sergey Petrovich!’ Screw said in a plaintive voice, stretching out towards my head his hand wet with rain. ‘Honest man! My friend!’
And then I heard a man crying. The doctor wept.
‘Pavel Ivanovich, go home!’ I said after a short silence. ‘I can’t talk with you now… I am afraid of my own mood, and of yours. We won’t understand each other…’
‘My dear friend!’ the doctor said in an imploring voice. ‘Marry her!’
‘You’ve gone mad!’ I said, and banged the window to…
First the parrot, then the doctor suffered from my mood. I did not ask him to come in, and I slammed the window in his face. Two rude and indecorous sallies for which I would have challenged anybody, even a woman, to a duel. But meek and goodnatured ‘Screw’ had no ideas about duels. He did not know what it is to be angry.
About two minutes later there was a flash of lightning, and glancing out of the window I saw the bent figure of my guest. His pose this time was one of supplication, of expectancy, the pose of a beggar watching for alms. He was probably waiting for me to pardon him, and to allow him to say what he had to communicate.
Fortunately my conscience was moved; I was sorry for myself, sorry that nature had implanted in me so much violence and meanness. My base soul as well as my healthy body were as hard as flint.
I went to the window and opened it.
‘Come into the room!’ I said.
‘Never! Every minute is precious! Poor Nadia has poisoned herself, and the doctor cannot leave her side… With difficulty we saved the poor thing… Such a misfortune! And you don’t want to hear it and slam the window to!’
‘Still she is alive?’
‘ “Still”! My good friend, that is not the way to speak about misfortunes! Who could have supposed that such a clever, honest nature would want to depart this life on account of such a creature as that Count? No, my friend, it is a misfortune for men that women cannot be perfect! However clever a woman may be, with whatever perfections she may be endowed, she has still something contrary about her that prevents her and other people from living easily… For instance, let us take Nadia… Why did she do it? Self-love, nothing but self-love! Unhealthy self-love! In order to wound you she conceived the idea of marrying this Count… She neither wanted his money nor his title… she only wanted to satisfy her monstrous self-love… Suddenly a failure! You know that his wife has arrived… It appears that this debauchee is married… And people say that women are more long-suffering, that they know how to endure things better than men! Where is there endurance here, when such a miserable cause makes them snatch up sulphur matches? This is not endurance, it is vanity!’
‘You will catch cold…’
‘What I have just seen is worse than any cold… Those eyes, that pallor… Oh! To unsuccessful love, to the unsuccessful attempt to humiliate you is now added unsuccessful suicide… It is difficult to imagine greater misfortunes! My dear fellow, if you have but a drop of compassion, if… if you would see her… Well, why should you not go to her? You love her! Even if you do not love her, why should you not give up a little of your time to her? Human life is precious, and for it one can give… all! Save her life!’
Somebody knocked loudly at my door. I shuddered… My heart bled… I do not believe in presentiments, but this time my alarm was not without cause… Somebody was knocking at my door from without…
‘Who is there?’ I cried out of the window.
‘A message, your Honour!’
‘What do you want?’
‘A letter from the Count, your Honour! There has been a murder!’
A dark figure muffled up in a sheepskin coat came to the window and, swearing at the weather, handed me a letter… I hurried away from the window, lit a candle, and read the following:
For God’s sake forget everything in the world and come at once! Olga has been murdered. I have lost my head and am mad’ - Yours, A. K.
Olga murdered! My head grew dizzy, and it was black before my eyes from this short phrase… I sat down on the bed and my hands fell at my sides. I was unable to reason!
‘Is that you, Pavel Ivanovich?’ I heard the voice of the muzhik who had been sent to me ask. ‘I was just going to drive on to you… I have a letter for you, too.’
Five minutes later ‘Screw’ and I were driving in a closed carriage towards the Count’s estate. The rain rattled on the roof of the carriage, and throughout our journey the path was lit by blinding flashes of lightning.
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