had received at the “set-to” at the priory. Not a feature was in its place; his swollen lip trespassed upon the precincts of his nose; his nose trod hard upon his cheek; while his cheek again, not to be behind the rest, rose up like an apple-dumpling under his single eye — single, we say — for, alas! there was no speculation in the other. His dexter daylight was utterly darkened, and, indeed, the orb that remained was as sanguinary a luminary as ever struggled through a London fog at noonday. To borrow a couplet or so from the laureate of the Fancy:
———— One of his peepers was put
On the bankruptcy list, with his shop windows shut,
While the other made nearly as tag-rag a show,
All rimmed round with black like the Courier in woe.
One black patch decorated his rainbow-colored cheek; another adorned his chin; a grinder having been dislodged, his pipe took possession of the aperture. His toggery was that of a member of the prize-ring; what we now call a “belcher” bound his throat; a spotted fogle bandaged his jobbernowl, and shaded his right peeper, while a white beaver crowned the occiput of the Magus. And though, at first sight, there would appear to be some incongruity in the association of such a battered character as the Upright Man with his smart companions, the reader’s wonder will rapidly diminish, when he reflects that any distinguished P. C. man can ever find a ready passport to the most exclusive society. Viewed in this light, Zoroaster’s familiarity with his swell acquaintance occasioned no surprise to old Simon Carr, the bottle-nosed landlord of the Falstaff, who was a man of discernment in his way, and knew a thing or two. Despite such striking evidences to the contrary, the Magus was perfectly at his ease, and sacrificing as usual to the god of flame. His mithra, or pipe, the symbol of his faith, was zealously placed between his lips, and never did his Chaldean, Bactrian, Persian, Pamphylian, Proconnesian, or Babylonian namesake, whichever of the six was the true Zoroaster —vide Bayle — respire more fervently at the altar of fire, than our Magus at the end of his enkindled tube. In his creed we believe Zoroaster was a dualist, and believed in the co-existence and mystical relation of the principles of good and ill; his pipe being his Yezdan, or benign influence; his empty pouch his Ahreman, or the devil. We shall not pause to examine his tenets; we meddle with no man’s religious opinions, and shall leave the Magus to the enjoyment of his own sentiments, be they what they may.
One guest alone remains, and him we shall briefly dismiss. The reader, we imagine, will scarcely need to be told who was the owner of those keen gray eyes; those exuberant red whiskers; that airy azure frock. It was
Our brave co-partner of the roads.
Skilful surveyor of highways and hedges;
in a word — Dick Turpin!
Dick had been called upon to act as president of the board, and an excellent president he made, sedulously devoting himself to the due administration of the punch-bowl. Not a rummer was allowed to stand empty for an instant. Toast, sentiment, and anacreontic song, succeeded each other at speedy intervals; but there was no speechifying — no politics. He left church and state to take care of themselves. Whatever his politics might be, Dick never allowed them to interfere with his pleasures. His maxim was to make the most of the passing moment; the dum vivimus vivamus was never out of his mind; a precautionary measure which we recommend to the adoption of all gentlemen of the like, or any other precarious profession.
Notwithstanding all Dick’s efforts to promote conviviality, seconded by the excellence of the beverage itself, conversation, somehow or other, began to flag; from being general it became particular. Tom King, who was no punch-bibber, especially at that time of day, fell into a deep reverie; your gamesters often do so; while the Magus, who had smoked himself drowsy, was composing himself to a doze. Turpin seized this opportunity of addressing a few words on matters of business to Jerry Juniper, or, as he now chose to be called, Count Conyers.
“My dear count,” said Dick, in a low and confidential tone, “you are aware that my errand to town is accomplished. I have smashed Lawyer Coates’s screen, pocketed the dimmock— here ’tis,” continued he, parenthetically, slapping his pockets — “and done t’other trick in prime twig for Tom King. With a cool thousand in hand, I might, if I chose, rest awhile on my oars. But a quiet life don’t suit me. I must be moving. So I shall start to Yorkshire to-night.”
“Indeed!” said the soi-disant count, in a languid tone —“so soon?”
“I have nothing to detain me,” replied Dick. “And, to tell you the truth, I want to see how matters stand with Sir Luke Rookwood. I should be sorry if he went to the wall for want of any assistance I can render him.”
“True,” returned the count; “one would regret such an occurrence, certainly. But I fear your assistance may arrive a little too late. He is pretty well done up, I should imagine, by this time.”
“That remains to be seen,” said Turpin. “His case is a bad one, to be sure, but I trust not utterly hopeless. With all his impetuosity and pride, I like the fellow, and will help him, if I can. It will be a difficult game to set him on his legs, but I think it may be done. That underground marriage was sheer madness, and turned out as ill as such a scheme might have been expected to do. Poor Sybil! if I could pipe an eye for anything, it should be for her. I can’t get her out of my head. Give me a pinch of snuff. Such thoughts unman one. As to the priest, that’s a totally different affair. If he strangled his daughter, old Alan did right to take the law into his own hands, and throttle him in return. I’d have done the same thing myself; and, being a proscribed Jesuit, returned, as I understand, without the king’s license for so doing, why Father Checkley’s murder — if it must be so called, I can’t abide hard terms — won’t lie very heavy at Alan’s door. That, however, has nothing to do with Sir Luke. He was neither accessory nor principal. Still he will be in danger, at least from Lady Rookwood. The whole county of York, I make no doubt, is up in arms by this time.”
“Then why go thither?” asked the count, somewhat ironically; “for my part, I’ve a strange fancy for keeping out of harm’s way as long as possible.”
“Every man to his taste,” returned Turpin; “I love to confront danger. Run away! pshaw! always meet your foe.”
“True,” replied the count, “half-way! but you go the whole distance. What prudent man would beard the lion in his den?”
“I never was a prudent man,” rejoined Dick, smiling; “I have no superfluous caution about me. Come what will, I shall try to find out this Luke Rookwood, and offer him my purse, such as it is, and it is now better lined than usual; a hand free to act as he lists; and a head which, imprudent though it be, can often think better for others than for its own master.”
“Vastly fine!” exclaimed the count, with an ill-disguised sneer. “I hope you don’t forget that the marriage certificate which you hold is perfectly valueless now. The estates, you are aware ——”
“Are no longer Sir Luke’s. I see what you are driving at, count,” returned Dick, coldly. “But he will need it to establish his claim to the title, and he shall have it. While he was Sir Luke, with ten thousand a year, I drove a hard bargain, and would have stood out for the last stiver. Now that he is one of ’us‘, a mere Knight of the Road, he shall have it and welcome.”
“Perhaps Lady Rookwood, or Mrs. Mowbray, might be inclined to treat,” maliciously insinuated the count; “the title may be worth something to Ranulph.”
“It is worth more to Luke; and if it were not, he gets it. Are you satisfied?”
“Perfectly,” replied the count, with affected bonhomie; “and I will now let you into a secret respecting Miss Mowbray, from which you may gather something for your guidance in this matter; and if the word of a woman is at all to be trusted, though individually I cannot say I have much faith in it, Sir Luke’s planetary hour is not yet completely overcast.”
“That’s exactly what I wish to know, my dear fellow,” said Turpin, eagerly. “You have already told me you were witness to a singular