6th. We are going home to-morrow. The last few days have been awfully dull. I saw R. once or twice but I always looked the other way. Father asked what was wrong between me and the Warths and R., so that our great friendship had been broken off. Of course I had to fib, for it was absolutely impossible to tell the truth. I said that R. found fault with everything I did, my writing, my reading aloud. (That’s quite true, he did that once) and Father said: Well, well, you’ll make it up when you say goodbye to-morrow. Father makes a great mistake. I’ll never speak a word to him again.
For her birthday, although it’s not come yet, Dora is to have a navy blue silk dustcloak. I don’t think the colour suits her, and anyhow she’s much too thin to wear a dustcloak.
September 14th. Hella came back the day before yesterday. She looks splendid and she says I do too. I’m so glad that she’s back. After all I told her about R. She was very angry and said I ought to have given him 2 more; one for the tickling and one for the “baby” and one for the “young monkey.” If we should happen to meet him, shan’t we just glare at him.
September 17th. Inspee has really got the silk dustcloak but I think the tartan hood looks rather silly. Still, I didn’t say so, but only that the cloak fitted beautifully. She has tried it on at least five times already. I don’t know whether Father really wants to treat her as a grown-up lady or whether he is making fun of her. I believe he’s only making fun. She doesn’t really look like a grown-up lady. How could she when she’s not 14 yet? Yesterday afternoon such a lot of girls were invited, and of course Hella was invited on my account and we had a grand talk. But most of them bragged frightfully about the country where they said they had been. We were 9 girls. But Hella is the only one I care about.
September 21st. School begins to-morrow. By the way, we have agreed to call it Liz [Lyzeum = High School] and not School. I’m frightfully curious.
September 22nd, 19—. School began to-day. Hella came to fetch me and we went along together. Inspee peached on us to Mother, saying we ran on in front of her. We don’t want her as governess. There are 34 of us in the class. Our teachers are a Frau Doktor, 2 mistresses, one professor, and I think a drawing mistress as well. The Frau Doktor teaches German and writing. She put us together on the 3rd bench. Then she made a speech, then she told us what books to get, but we are not to buy them till Monday. We have 3 intervals, one long and 2 short. The long one is for games, the short ones to go out. I usen’t to go out at the elementary school and now I don’t need to. Mother always says that it’s only a bad habit. Most of the girls went out, and even asked to leave the room during lesson time. To-day we hadn’t any proper lessons. They are to begin to-morrow, but we don’t know what. Then we came home.
September 23rd. To-day we had the mistress who teaches geography and history, she has no degree. Inspee says that she had her last year, but she could not stand her, she’s so ugly. Father was angry and said to Inspee: You silly goose, don’t fill her head with such stuff. Show what you are worth as elder sister. One can learn something from every mistress and every master if one likes. But I can’t say, we’re really fond of Fraulein Vischer and I don’t much care for geography and history. Besides I’m not learning for her but for myself. Frau Dr. Mallburg is awfully nice and pretty. We shall always write Frau Dr. M. for short. When she laughs she has two dimples and a gold stopping. She is new at the school. I don’t know if we are to have singing too. In French we have Madame Arnau, she is beautifully dressed, black lace. Hella has a lovely pen and pencil case; it’s quite soft, we must have it soft so that it shan’t make a row when it falls down during lesson time. I think it cost 7 crowns or 1.70 crowns, I don’t know exactly. To-day lessons went on until 12, first German, then arithmetic, then religion for Catholics, and then we came away. Hella waited for me, for the Herr Pastor did not come.
September 24th. We thought the book shops would be open to-day but we were wrong. Hella’s mother said, that’s what happens when the chicks think themselves wiser than the hens. In the afternoon Hella came to our house and Inspee had been invited by the Fs. I don’t go there, for it’s so dull, they play the piano all day. I have enough piano at my lessons. My music lessons will begin when the school time-table has been fixed up. Perhaps on October 1st, then I must write to Frau B., she told me to write myself. She tells all her pupils to do that. I would rather have had Hella’s music mistress. But she has no time to spare and I think she charges more. At least she wouldn’t always be holding me up “Fraulein Dora” as a model. We are not all so musical as Fraulein Dora. In the evening Inspee was reading a great fat book until 10 or 12 o clock and she simply howled over it. She said she had not, but I heard her and she could hardly speak. She says she had a cold, liar.
September 25th. To-day they gave us the professors’ time-table, but it won’t work until the professors from the Gymnasium know exactly when they can come. Our Frau Doktor might be teaching in a Gymnasium, but since there is only one here she teaches in our school. To-morrow we are going to have a viva voce composition: Our Holidays. We may write 8 or 10 sentences at home before we come, but we must not look at what we have written in class. I’ve written mine already. But I’ve not said anything about Robert. He’s not worth thinking about anyhow. I did not even tell Hella everything.
September 25th. We had the viva voce composition and Frau Doktor said, very good, what is your name? Grete Lainer I said and she said: And is that your chum next you? Now she must tell us how she spent her holidays. Hella did hers very well too and Frau Doktor said again, very good. Then the bell rang. In the long interval Frau Doktor played dodge with us. It was great fun. I was it six times. In the little intervals we were quite alone for the staff has such a lot to do drawing up the time-table. A pupil-teacher from the F. high school is in our class. She sits on the last bench for she is very tall. As tall as Frau Doktor.
September 26th. To-day we had Professor Riegel for the first time in natural history. He wears eye-glasses and never looks any of us in the face. And in French Madame A. said that my accent was the best. We’ve got an awful lot on and I don’t know whether I shall be able to write every day. The younger girls say Professor Igel instead of Riegel and the Weinmann girl said Nikel.
September 30th. I’ve had simply no time to write. Hella hasn’t written anything since the 24th. But I must write to-day for I met Robert in Schottengasse. Good morning, Miss, you needn’t be so stuck up, he said as he went by. And when I turned round he had already passed, or I would have given him a piece of my mind. I must go to supper.
October 1st. I can’t write, Oswald has come from S., he has sprained his ankle, but I’m not so sure because he can get about. He is awfully pale and doesn’t say a word about the pain.
October 4th. To-day is a holiday, the emperor’s birthday. Yesterday Resi told me something horrid. Oswald can’t go back to S. He has been up to something, I wish I knew what, perhaps something in the closet. He always stays there such a long time, I noticed that when I was in the country. Or perhaps it may have been something in his society. Inspee pretends she knows what it is but of course it isn’t true, for she doesn’t know any more than I do. Father is furious and Mother’s eyes are all red with crying. At dinner nobody says a word. If I could only find out what he’s done. Father was shouting at him yesterday and both Dora and I heard what he said: You young scamp (then there was something we couldn’t understand) and then he said, you attend to your school books and leave the girls and the married women alone you pitiful scoundrel. And Dora said. Ah, now I understand and I said: Please tell me, he is my brother as well as yours. But she said: “You wouldn’t understand. It’s not suitable for such young ears.” Fancy that, it’s suitable for her ears, but not mine though she’s not quite three years older than I am, but because she no longer wears a short skirt she gives herself the airs of a grown-up lady. Such airs, and then she sneaks a great spoonful of jam so that her mouth is stuffed with it and she can’t speak. Whenever I see her do this, I make a point of speaking to her so that she has to answer. She does get in such a wax.
October 9th. I know all about it now … That’s how babies come. And that is what Robert really meant. Not for me, thank you, I simply won’t marry. For if one marries one has to do it; it hurts frightfully and yet one has to. What a good thing that I know it in time. But I wish I knew exactly