Memories Of Our Days. Chiara Cesetti

under their breaths. They had chosen a table far from everyone, a small table for two close to the wall, as far as possible from the few customers. They were waiting for Totò to drop over the food. Fosco’s face showed worry, his eyes were staring at the tablecloth. With his elbows on the table, he kept his hands together in front of his mouth and the words were coming out with difficulty, as a result of some thoughts long brewed in his mind.

      -I don’t know, Fosco, I dont’t know…- Rudi went on- I think you are right….probably it is not enough anymore just to state that you are against…maybe it is necessary to take actions against...-

      -Rudi listen…- All of a sudden Fosco’s face lit up and he bent his torso over to be closer to his friend. -Listen –he said again- Over the last few days we have seen a change in the society…. An improvement…. A degeneration .. for some people it is , for other people it isn’t… I don’t know, it depends…what I know anyway is that some people want to destroy what I think because they fear it and if they do, it is because in their worlds there is no space for everyone, but just for some people. What happened this morning at the newsroom headquarters make me scared for me, for you but the threat that is on us scares me the most because it doesn’t give me any certainty about the future.-

      Rudi was listening quietly with his arms crossed on the table and his hands in a fist. He saw Totò coming out of the kitchen and he gave him a quick smile.

      -Here is your food, enjoy it-. The innkeeper’s face, which was cheerful and friendly, dispersed Fosco’s thoughts for a moment and he sat up on his chair and acknowledged the hot food with a -Thank you, Totò’-

      They ate in silence for a few minutes, they poured some wine into their glasses, then Fosco went on talking:

      -Did you get what I mean?-

      -I got it and I know that you are right…I can see that the situation is getting worse every day…now those who are against are afraid to end up like Matteotti so many people leave….-

      -That’s what they want! Chasing us away, get us to be quiet! That skull we found this morning printed on the door of the newsroom means exactly this: be careful, you are being watched and your lives are not that worthy for us! They want our silence, the silence or the subservient assent of the press!-

      -What else can we do other that keep on defending ourselves?-

      -They won’t let us do that, you’ll see. It’s too easy for them. How long do you think we can still go on? Shortly they will force us to be quiet as they have already done with the others and then the battle will be lost forever-

      Rudi looked at his friend with apprehension and after a short hesitation, he said:

      -What are you going to do?-

      Fosco went quiet. He ate very little. He pushed the plate away to the middle of the table, he drank a sip of wine, keeping his eyes down

      -I don’t know, I don’t know exactly yet. I need to think it over…I need to think it over…- he whispered.