He was never on horseback in his life except once, when he was a little lad, and Mr. Jonathan Burge took him up behind, telling him to “hold on tight”; and instead of bursting out into wild accusing apostrophes to God and destiny, he is resolving, as he now walks homewards under the solemn starlight, to repress his sadness, to be less bent on having his own will, and to live more for others, as Dinah does.
Chapter IV.
Home and Its Sorrows.
A green valley with a brook running through it, full almost to overflowing with the late rains, overhung by low stooping willows. Across this brook a plank is thrown, and over this plank Adam Bede is passing with his undoubting step, followed close by Gyp with the basket; evidently making his way to the thatched house, with a stack of timber by the side of it, about twenty yards up the opposite slope.
The door of the house is open, and an elderly woman is looking out; but she is not placidly contemplating the evening sunshine; she has been watching with dim eyes the gradually enlarging speck which for the last few minutes she has been quite sure is her darling son Adam. Lisbeth Bede loves her son with the love of a woman to whom her first-born has come late in life. She is an anxious, spare, yet vigorous old woman, clean as a snowdrop. Her grey hair is turned neatly back under a pure linen cap with a black band round it; her broad chest is covered with a buff neckerchief, and below this you see a sort of short bedgown made of blue-checkered linen, tied round the waist and descending to the hips, from whence there is a considerable length of linsey-woolsey petticoat. For Lisbeth is tall, and in other points too there is a strong likeness between her and her son Adam. Her dark eyes are somewhat dim now—perhaps from too much crying—but her broadly marked eyebrows are still black, her teeth are sound, and as she stands knitting rapidly and unconsciously with her work-hardened hands, she has as firmly upright an attitude as when she is carrying a pail of water on her head from the spring. There is the same type of frame and the same keen activity of temperament in mother and son, but it was not from her that Adam got his well-filled brow and his expression of large-hearted intelligence.
Family likeness has often a deep sadness in it. Nature, that great tragic dramatist, knits us together by bone and muscle, and divides us by the subtler web of our brains; blends yearning and repulsion; and ties us by our heart-strings to the beings that jar us at every movement. We hear a voice with the very cadence of our own uttering the thoughts we despise; we see eyes—ah, so like our mother’s!—averted from us in cold alienation; and our last darling child startles us with the air and gestures of the sister we parted from in bitterness long years ago. The father to whom we owe our best heritage—the mechanical instinct, the keen sensibility to harmony, the unconscious skill of the modelling hand—galls us and puts us to shame by his daily errors; the long-lost mother, whose face we begin to see in the glass as our own wrinkles come, once fretted our young souls with her anxious humours and irrational persistence.
It is such a fond anxious mother’s voice that you hear, as Lisbeth says, “Well, my lad, it’s gone seven by th’ clock. Thee’t allays stay till the last child’s born. Thee wants thy supper, I’ll warrand. Where’s Seth? Gone arter some o’s chapellin’, I reckon?”
“Aye, aye, Seth’s at no harm, mother, thee mayst be sure. But where’s father?” said Adam quickly, as he entered the house and glanced into the room on the left hand, which was used as a workshop. “Hasn’t he done the coffin for Tholer? There’s the stuff standing just as I left it this morning.”
“Done the coffin?” said Lisbeth, following him, and knitting uninterruptedly, though she looked at her son very anxiously. “Eh, my lad, he went aff to Treddles’on this forenoon, an’s niver come back. I doubt he’s got to th’ ‘Waggin Overthrow’ again.”
A deep flush of anger passed rapidly over Adam’s face. He said nothing, but threw off his jacket and began to roll up his shirt-sleeves again.
“What art goin’ to do, Adam?” said the mother, with a tone and look of alarm. “Thee wouldstna go to work again, wi’out ha’in thy bit o’ supper?”
Adam, too angry to speak, walked into the workshop. But his mother threw down her knitting, and, hurrying after him, took hold of his arm, and said, in a tone of plaintive remonstrance, “Nay, my lad, my lad, thee munna go wi’out thy supper; there’s the taters wi’ the gravy in ’em, just as thee lik’st ’em. I saved ’em o’ purpose for thee. Come an’ ha’ thy supper, come.”
“Let be!” said Adam impetuously, shaking her off and seizing one of the planks that stood against the wall. “It’s fine talking about having supper when here’s a coffin promised to be ready at Brox’on by seven o’clock to-morrow morning, and ought to ha’ been there now, and not a nail struck yet. My throat’s too full to swallow victuals.”
“Why, thee canstna get the coffin ready,” said Lisbeth. “Thee’t work thyself to death. It ’ud take thee all night to do’t.”
“What signifies how long it takes me? Isn’t the coffin promised? Can they bury the man without a coffin? I’d work my right hand off sooner than deceive people with lies i’ that way. It makes me mad to think on’t. I shall overrun these doings before long. I’ve stood enough of ’em.”
Poor Lisbeth did not hear this threat for the first time, and if she had been wise she would have gone away quietly and said nothing for the next hour. But one of the lessons a woman most rarely learns is never to talk to an angry or a drunken man. Lisbeth sat down on the chopping bench and began to cry, and by the time she had cried enough to make her voice very piteous, she burst out into words.
“Nay, my lad, my lad, thee wouldstna go away an’ break thy mother’s heart, an’ leave thy feyther to ruin. Thee wouldstna ha’ ’em carry me to th’ churchyard, an’ thee not to follow me. I shanna rest i’ my grave if I donna see thee at th’ last; an’ how’s they to let thee know as I’m a-dyin’, if thee’t gone a-workin’ i’ distant parts, an’ Seth belike gone arter thee, and thy feyther not able to hold a pen for’s hand shakin’, besides not knowin’ where thee art? Thee mun forgie thy feyther—thee munna be so bitter again’ him. He war a good feyther to thee afore he took to th’ drink. He’s a clever workman, an’ taught thee thy trade, remember, an’s niver gen me a blow nor so much as an ill word—no, not even in ’s drink. Thee wouldstna ha’ ’m go to the workhus—thy own feyther—an’ him as was a fine-growed man an’ handy at everythin’ amost as thee art thysen, five-an’-twenty ’ear ago, when thee wast a baby at the breast.”
Lisbeth’s voice became louder, and choked with sobs—a sort of wail, the most irritating of all sounds where real sorrows are to be borne and real work to be done. Adam broke in impatiently.
“Now, Mother, don’t cry and talk so. Haven’t I got enough to vex me without that? What’s th’ use o’ telling me things as I only think too much on every day? If I didna think on ’em, why should I do as I do, for the sake o’ keeping things together here? But I hate to be talking where it’s no use: I like to keep my breath for doing i’stead o’ talking.”
“I know thee dost things as nobody else ’ud do, my lad. But thee’t allays so hard upo’ thy feyther, Adam. Thee think’st nothing too much to do for Seth: thee snapp’st me up if iver I find faut wi’ th’ lad. But thee’t so angered wi’ thy feyther, more nor wi’ anybody else.”
“That’s better than speaking soft and letting things go the wrong way, I reckon, isn’t it? If I wasn’t sharp with him he’d sell every bit o’ stuff i’ th’ yard and spend it on drink. I know there’s a duty to be done by my father, but it isn’t my duty to encourage him in running headlong to ruin. And what has Seth got to do with it? The lad does no harm as I know of. But leave me alone, Mother, and let me get on with the work.”
Lisbeth dared not say any more; but she got up and called Gyp, thinking to console herself somewhat for Adam’s refusal of the supper she had spread out in the loving expectation