George Eliot

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what she said.

      Seth was right in believing that Lisbeth would be held in restraint by timidity, and during the next three days, the intervals in which she had an opportunity of speaking to Adam were too rare and short to cause her any strong temptation. But in her long solitary hours she brooded over her regretful thoughts about Dinah, till they had grown very near that point of unmanageable strength when thoughts are apt to take wing out of their secret nest in a startling manner. And on Sunday morning, when Seth went away to chapel at Treddleston, the dangerous opportunity came.

      Sunday morning was the happiest time in all the week to Lisbeth, for as there was no service at Hayslope church till the afternoon, Adam was always at home, doing nothing but reading, an occupation in which she could venture to interrupt him. Moreover, she had always a better dinner than usual to prepare for her sons—very frequently for Adam and herself alone, Seth being often away the entire day—and the smell of the roast meat before the clear fire in the clean kitchen, the clock ticking in a peaceful Sunday manner, her darling Adam seated near her in his best clothes, doing nothing very important, so that she could go and stroke her hand across his hair if she liked, and see him look up at her and smile, while Gyp, rather jealous, poked his muzzle up between them—all these things made poor Lisbeth’s earthly paradise.

      The book Adam most often read on a Sunday morning was his large pictured Bible, and this morning it lay open before him on the round white deal table in the kitchen; for he sat there in spite of the fire, because he knew his mother liked to have him with her, and it was the only day in the week when he could indulge her in that way. You would have liked to see Adam reading his Bible. He never opened it on a weekday, and so he came to it as a holiday book, serving him for history, biography, and poetry. He held one hand thrust between his waistcoat buttons, and the other ready to turn the pages, and in the course of the morning you would have seen many changes in his face. Sometimes his lips moved in semi-articulation—it was when he came to a speech that he could fancy himself uttering, such as Samuel’s dying speech to the people; then his eyebrows would be raised, and the corners of his mouth would quiver a little with sad sympathy—something, perhaps old Isaac’s meeting with his son, touched him closely; at other times, over the New Testament, a very solemn look would come upon his face, and he would every now and then shake his head in serious assent, or just lift up his hand and let it fall again. And on some mornings, when he read in the Apocrypha, of which he was very fond, the son of Sirach’s keen-edged words would bring a delighted smile, though he also enjoyed the freedom of occasionally differing from an Apocryphal writer. For Adam knew the Articles quite well, as became a good churchman.

      Lisbeth, in the pauses of attending to her dinner, always sat opposite to him and watched him, till she could rest no longer without going up to him and giving him a caress, to call his attention to her. This morning he was reading the Gospel according to St. Matthew, and Lisbeth had been standing close by him for some minutes, stroking his hair, which was smoother than usual this morning, and looking down at the large page with silent wonderment at the mystery of letters. She was encouraged to continue this caress, because when she first went up to him, he had thrown himself back in his chair to look at her affectionately and say, “Why, Mother, thee look’st rare and hearty this morning. Eh, Gyp wants me t’ look at him. He can’t abide to think I love thee the best.” Lisbeth said nothing, because she wanted to say so many things. And now there was a new leaf to be turned over, and it was a picture—that of the angel seated on the great stone that has been rolled away from the sepulchre. This picture had one strong association in Lisbeth’s memory, for she had been reminded of it when she first saw Dinah, and Adam had no sooner turned the page, and lifted the book sideways that they might look at the angel, than she said, “That’s her—that’s Dinah.”

      Adam smiled, and, looking more intently at the angel’s face, said, “It is a bit like her; but Dinah’s prettier, I think.”

      “Well, then, if thee think’st her so pretty, why arn’t fond on her?”

      Adam looked up in surprise. “Why, Mother, dost think I don’t set store by Dinah?”

      “Nay,” said Lisbeth, frightened at her own courage, yet feeling that she had broken the ice, and the waters must flow, whatever mischief they might do. “What’s th’ use o’ settin’ store by things as are thirty mile off? If thee wast fond enough on her, thee wouldstna let her go away.”

      “But I’ve no right t’ hinder her, if she thinks well,” said Adam, looking at his book as if he wanted to go on reading. He foresaw a series of complaints tending to nothing. Lisbeth sat down again in the chair opposite to him, as she said:

      “But she wouldna think well if thee wastna so contrairy.” Lisbeth dared not venture beyond a vague phrase yet.

      “Contrairy, mother?” Adam said, looking up again in some anxiety. “What have I done? What dost mean?”

      “Why, thee’t never look at nothin’, nor think o’ nothin’, but thy figurin, an’ thy work,” said Lisbeth, half-crying. “An’ dost think thee canst go on so all thy life, as if thee wast a man cut out o’ timber? An’ what wut do when thy mother’s gone, an’ nobody to take care on thee as thee gett’st a bit o’ victual comfortable i’ the mornin’?”

      “What hast got i’ thy mind, Mother?” said Adam, vexed at this whimpering. “I canna see what thee’t driving at. Is there anything I could do for thee as I don’t do?”

      “Aye, an’ that there is. Thee might’st do as I should ha’ somebody wi’ me to comfort me a bit, an’ wait on me when I’m bad, an’ be good to me.”

      “Well, Mother, whose fault is it there isna some tidy body i’ th’ house t’ help thee? It isna by my wish as thee hast a stroke o’ work to do. We can afford it—I’ve told thee often enough. It ’ud be a deal better for us.”

      “Eh, what’s the use o’ talking o’ tidy bodies, when thee mean’st one o’ th’ wenches out o’ th’ village, or somebody from Treddles’on as I ne’er set eyes on i’ my life? I’d sooner make a shift an’ get into my own coffin afore I die, nor ha’ them folks to put me in.”

      Adam was silent, and tried to go on reading. That was the utmost severity he could show towards his mother on a Sunday morning. But Lisbeth had gone too far now to check herself, and after scarcely a minute’s quietness she began again.

      “Thee mightst know well enough who ’tis I’d like t’ ha’ wi’ me. It isna many folks I send for t’ come an’ see me. I reckon. An’ thee’st had the fetchin’ on her times enow.”

      “Thee mean’st Dinah, Mother, I know,” said Adam. “But it’s no use setting thy mind on what can’t be. If Dinah ’ud be willing to stay at Hayslope, it isn’t likely she can come away from her aunt’s house, where they hold her like a daughter, and where she’s more bound than she is to us. If it had been so that she could ha’ married Seth, that ’ud ha’ been a great blessing to us, but we can’t have things just as we like in this life. Thee must try and make up thy mind to do without her.”

      “Nay, but I canna ma’ up my mind, when she’s just cut out for thee; an’ nought shall ma’ me believe as God didna make her an’ send her there o’ purpose for thee. What’s it sinnify about her bein’ a Methody! It ’ud happen wear out on her wi’ marryin’.”

      Adam threw himself back in his chair and looked at his mother. He understood now what she had been aiming at from the beginning of the conversation. It was as unreasonable, impracticable a wish as she had ever urged, but he could not help being moved by so entirely new an idea. The chief point, however, was to chase away the notion from his mother’s mind as quickly as possible.

      “Mother,” he said, gravely, “thee’t talking wild. Don’t let me hear thee say such things again. It’s no good talking o’ what can never be. Dinah’s not for marrying; she’s fixed her heart on a different sort o’ life.”

      “Very like,” said Lisbeth, impatiently, “very like she’s none for marr’ing, when them as she’d be willin’ t’ marry wonna ax her. I