Yates Dornford

Jonah and Co


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all the blinkin' presents with which you propose to signalise this Yuletide, I'll—I'll tie them all up without a word."

      "Same here," said I. "Our gifts will cost us more, but we shall live the longer."

      "Ditto," said Jonah.

      The girls agreed cheerfully, and, before luncheon was over, it had been decided to give Planchet three days in which to make his appearance, and that, if he had not arrived by that time, then and then only should we resort to the shops.

      Less than an hour had elapsed, and we were just about to make ready to take the air by the simple expedient of proceeding at a high speed in the direction of Biarritz, when Falcon entered the room.

      "There's an individual, madam, 'as come to the door——"

      "Planchet? Is it Planchet?"

      "I'm afraid I can 'ardly say, madam, but 'e 'as this address upon a piece of note-paper, madam, and——"

      "All right, Falcon, I'll come."

      The butler's valiant endeavours to cope with the heritage of Babel were better known to us than he imagined. More than once his efforts to extract from strangers that information which was his due, and at the same time, like a juggler of many parts, to keep the balls of Dignity and Courtesy rolling, had been overheard, and had afforded us gratification so pronounced as to necessitate the employment of cushions and other improvised gags if our faithful servant's feelings were to come to no harm.

      "I'll go," said Jill and Adèle simultaneously.

      We all went, and we were all just in time to see our visitor precede the Sealyham in the direction of the lodge.

      Aghast at such ill-timed pleasantry, we erupted pellmell into the drive, all frantic by word or deed to distract the terrier from his purpose. Shrieks, curses, and a copy of La Fontaine's Fables were hurled simultaneously and in vain at our favourite, and it was Berry, to whom the fear of further acquaintance with the emporiums of Pau must have lent wings, who actually overtook and discomfited the pursuer some three yards from the road.

      It was with feelings of inexpressible relief that we presently beheld the three returning—Berry alternately rebuking the Sealyham, who was under his arm, and apologising to his guest, the latter wide-eyed, something out of breath, and anything but easy, and Nobby apparently torn between an aggressively affectionate regard for his captor and a still furiously expressed suspicion of the stranger within our gates.

      As the trio drew nigh—

      "It is Monsieur Planchet," called Berry. "He's brought some things for us to see. His man's behind with a barrow."

      With beating hearts we trooped back into the house. …

      As I returned from thrusting Nobby into a bedroom, Monsieur Planchet's hireling staggered into the hall, a gigantic basket-trunk poised precariously upon his hunched shoulders.

      The inspection was held in the drawing-room.

      It was rather late in the day to assume that nonchalant air which has, from time immemorial, adorned the armouries of all accomplished hucksters.

      Our instant recognition of the salesman, our energetic solicitude for his safety, and our obvious anxiety to dissociate ourselves from the policy of direct action adopted by the terrier, had not only betrayed, but emphasised, the fact that the sailor's arrival was very much to our taste. Clearly, if we did not wish to pay through the nose for what we purchased, our only course was to feign disappointment when the wares were produced.

      For what it was worth I circulated a covert recommendation of this wile, which was acknowledged with sundry nods and inaudible assurances—the latter, so far as Jill was concerned, too readily given to inspire me with confidence.

      Sure enough, when the lid of the trunk was lifted, and Planchet plucked forth a truly exquisite rug and flung it dexterously across a chair, my grey-eyed cousin let out a gasp which an infant in arms could not have misinterpreted.

      There was only one thing to be done, and Daphne did it.

      With a heroic disregard for her reputation, she shook her head.

      "Too bright," she said shortly. "Don't you think so?" she added, turning to Berry.

      The latter swallowed before replying.

      "It's positively gaudy," he said gloomily.

      Planchet shrugged his shoulders and began to unfasten a bale. …

      By the time seven more Persian rugs—all old and all more than ordinarily pleasing in design and colouring—were sprawling about the chamber, any organised depreciation was out of the question. Where all were so beautiful, it required a larger output of moral courage than any one of us could essay to decry the whole pack. By way of doing his or her bit, everybody decided to praise one or two to the implied condemnation of the remainder. In the absence of collusion, it was inevitable that those rugs which somebody had thus branded as goats should invariably include somebody else's sheep. The result was that every single rug had its following. A glance at their owner, who was standing aside, making no offer to commend his carpets, but fingering his chin and watching us narrowly with quick-moving eyes, showed that he was solely engaged in considering how much he dared ask.

      I moved across to him.

      "You only come here twice a year?" I inquired.

      "That is so, Monsieur."

      "And how do you get these things? By barter?"

      "Yes, Monsieur."

      After a little encouragement, he explained that before each voyage he laid in a stock of knives, gramophones, mirrors, trinkets, and the like, these to exchange with the natives in the bazaars of the smaller Eastern ports at which his ship touched. From Bordeaux he used to set out, and to Bordeaux he as regularly returned. An aunt dwelling at Pau was responsible for his selection of the town as a market for his goods. I should not have taken him for a sailor, and said as much. With a shy smile, he confessed that he was a steward, adding that he was a landsman at heart, and that, but for the opportunities of trading which his occupation presented he should go to sea no more.

      Suddenly—

      "What else have you got?" said Daphne.

      Six panels of Chinese embroidery—all powder-blue and gold, 'laborious Orient ivories,' a gorgeous hanging that had been the coat of a proud mandarin, three Chinese mats, aged and flawless, a set of silken doilies—each one displaying a miniature landscape limned with a subtlety that baffled every eye—one by one these treasures were laid before us.

      Even Jonah went down before the ivories.

      Ere the trunk was empty, we had, one and all, dropped our masks and were revelling openly.

      "Now, isn't that beautiful?" "Sally's got a ball like that, but it isn't so big." "It's just as well she's in Ireland, or we shouldn't have had those mats." "You know, that rug on the chair's a devilish fine one." "They all are." "Yes, but that—my dear fellow, it's the sort of rug they put in the window and refuse to sell, because it's such an advertisement." "I'll tell you what, if we had those panels made into curtains, they'd look simply priceless in the drawing-room." "Give me the ivories."

      It was Adèle who pulled the check-string.

      "What's the price of this rug?" she said quietly.

      There was an expectant and guilty hush.

      With a careless flourish we had called the tune—clamoured for it. …

       If the piper's fee was exorbitant, we had only ourselves to thank.

      Planchet hesitated. Then—

      "Five hundred francs, Madame."

      Ten pounds.

      You could have heard a pin drop.

      The rug was worth sixty. In Regent Street or Fifth Avenue we should have