feel lost, and I can’t talk about
things as twisted as that with my
friends—they’ll hate me.
I have to forget this
nonsense and stick
with the people who
love me.
CLEM …
Thomas
is great.
I know
that he
would
do a
lot for
me. Why
can’t I
see that?
CLEM … I GET
THE FEELING YOU’RE
AVOIDING ME, AND
I’D JUST LIKE
TO KNOW …
I DIDN’T
HAVE THE GUTS
YESTERDAY, BUT …
UH … I, I LI KE YOU
A LOT, YOU KNOW,
AND …
I’m a girl,
and girls
date boys.
20
CLEMENTINE?
CLEMENTINE, SAY
SOMETHING. ARE YOU
OK?
HEY, BABE, WE’VE BEEN
TOGETHER FOR OVER SIX
MONTHS … BUT IT’S NORMAL TO
BE AFRAID … I WAS TOTALLY
TERRIFIED THE FIRST TIME.
YOU JUST NEED
MORE TIME. PLEASE
DON’T THINK THAT
I’M IN A HURRY. YOU
KNOW THAT YOU CAN
TRUST ME.
HEY …
WHAT
ARE YOU
DOING?
21
CLEMENTINE,
WHAT’S GOTTEN INTO
YOU?
STOP!!! WHY ARE
YOU LEAVING LIKE
THAT?
I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT I AM DOING
HERE, THOMAS.
I AM SO IN LOVE
WITH YOU, YOU KNOW. I
AM BEGGING YOU, PLEASE
STAY. THERE ARE NO MORE
TRAINS AT THIS HOUR.
I’LL TAKE
THE SUBWAY.
22
CLEMENTINE?!
MY MOTHER
AND HER
CHRONIC
INSOMNIA …
BUT… YOUR PAJAMA
PARTY AT YOUR
FRIEND’S HOUSE …
AT 3:00 IN
THE MORNING?!
DO YOU REALIZE
WHAT COULD HAVE
HAPPENED TO YOU ?
REALLY, YOU ARE SO
IRRESPONSIBLE!
AND WITH
EVERYTHING
THAT’S
HAPPENING!
GOOD NIGHT,
MOM.
WE GOT INTO A FIGHT.
I WANTED TO COME HOME.
23
May 1st, 1995
Dear Diary,
24
I’ve already told you about
my disastrous evening
with Thomas, but I still
need to talk about it.
I can’t stop
thinking about
what happened
(and could have
happened), and I
like myself less
and less.
I didn’t even really want to
go to his place and even less
to sleep with him.
But I’m going out with
him—that’s what’s supposed
to happen, isn’t it?
I feel lost, alone, at the bottom
of a pit. I don’t know what to do.
I get the feeling that everything
I do is unnatural.
Against
my nature.
Why does
life work for
other people
and not for
me?
LIFE DOES
NOT WORK FOR
EVERYONE ELSE,
EITHER, MY DEAR
HEART.
25
DINNER WILL BE
READY IN A FEW MINUTES.
YOU LIKE SPAGHETTI
BOLOGNESE, DON’T YOU?
YES,
THANK YOU VERY
MUCH. I’LL BE
RIGHT THERE.
THANKS …
THANKS
26
YOU KNOW, I CAN LEAVE
RIGHT AFTER WE EAT IF IT
BOTHERS YOU IF I