a loud bang and then everything went dark. But then I woke up and here I am in this hospital bed at night, and I can’t feel my legs. I can’t move them.”
“Matt, they had to do an emergency surgery for you yesterday afternoon. You had a lot of internal bleeding that wasn’t stopping, and they had to go in and fix some problems. While they were in there, they noticed that the accident had damaged some nerves in your lower spine that—”
“That what?”
Christina took a deep breath and collected herself and said, “That paralyzed you from the waist down.”
“What?”
“The accident paralyzed you from the waist down, Matt.”
“No, that’s not right. Where’s the doctor?”
“The doctor isn’t here.”
“Where’s the doctor?” yelled Matt. “I am not paralyzed! I can walk! Do you hear me? I can walk!” Matt trailed off in tears as he tried to stand up and walk but simply could not find the capability to do so. Christina grabbed Matt around the shoulders and hugged him while Matt cried into her shoulder.
“It’s going to be okay, Matt,” said Christina.
Christina held Matt for what seemed like an eternity as he sobbed into her shoulder.
“Did the doctor say it was for life?” asked Matt through the tears.
“He did.”
“Great. Well, you’re married to a god damn vegetable now.”
“Matt, please don’t be like that. It’s really is going to be okay. I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to get through this. Together.”
“I don’t know why, Chris. If I am paralyzed for life, then how are we going to raise a family together someday like you wanted?”
“Matt, we can adopt.”
“How can I be a dad? How can I teach my kid or kids to play sports? What if we have a daughter? How will I take her to father-daughter dances?”
“You’re thinking too much about this right now, Matt. Let’s just take this one day at a time.”
“Am I thinking too much into it?”
“Look, Matt, this is difficult for me too!” said Christina. “Honestly, I don’t know how things will change, but all I know is that I still love you and nothing is going to change that. You are my husband from the day we got married to the end of my life. Regardless of what all happens in between.”
Matt sat motionless in his bed, wiping tears from his eyes and face with his hands. Matt was confused and still emotionally upset.
“I love you, Chris.”
“I love you too, Matt.”
There was an awkward silence that followed. Another thought had run through Christina’s mind, and she couldn’t believe what she was thinking about.
“Matt, I’m going to go get a bottle of water from the hallway vending machine. Do you want me to get the nurse for anything? Do you want a water?”
Matt sat in silence in the dark. “No, I’m fine. I just need to sit here and think for a minute.”
Christina let go of Matt’s hand, gave him a kiss, and walked out of the room—her mind in deep thought. She walked toward the nurses’ station where the elevator was. Around the corner of the room was a small hole in the wall where a soda vending machine and a snack machine was. Christina put two dollars into the machine and purchased a bottle of water. The machine spit out the bottle, and Christina opened it and took a drink. Her mind was now working on overdrive. She couldn’t believe what she was about to say to Matt. She couldn’t believe what she was about to recommend. All she knew was that she wanted to make Matt happy and support him any way that she could, and this was the best way that she could do it.
Maybe Matt was right all along.
Christina put the cap back on the bottle of water and walked back down the hall back to room 309. When she got there, she opened the door and walked in and saw Matt sitting on the edge of the bed still staring out the window, the silhouette of his body outlined by the light of the moon pouring through the window. His back to the door in the room. Christina walked in and around the corner of Matt’s bed.
“Chris, it was nearly impossible to even sit on the edge of the bed like this. I had to move the head of the bed up and almost lean my body over in order to even sit up like this,” said Matt.
“Would you like some water?” asked Christina.
“Yeah.” Matt took the bottle and took a drink of water from it.
“The bottled water tastes a hell lot better than the hospital water from the sink. I swear to god I think they pump water into this hospital from Capital Lake.”
Christina smiled. “Yeah, it does, huh? Matt, I was thinking about something.”
“What is that?”
“Matt, I want you to know that I’m fully committed to you, and I want to show you that I still am fully committed to you for life.”
“Okay.”
“I think we should find that cabin in the mountains.”
“What?”
“The cabin you want, up in the mountains. Let’s go for it. I will help take care of you.”
“Are you serious? We can’t do that now, Chris. How in the hell am I supposed to get around in the mountains with two legs that don’t work?”
“We’ll make it work together.”
“But how?”
“I don’t know how right now. But I don’t think we’re supposed to know how it will work. I think it’s up to us to go for it, make it work, and enjoy life.”
“What about our jobs?”
“We’ll live off the grid. I’m an accountant too. I can find work individually. I’m licensed with the state. I don’t need an agency to work in. And didn’t you talk about wanting to try and be a writer?”
“I talked about that over six years ago, and I’m pretty sure I was hammered on jack and coke when I said that.”
“Well, you can give that a try. Like you said, we can hook up solar panels for power and that’s all that we need. Just us.”
“I don’t know anymore, Chris. I mean, this is going to be really hard now.”
“So is life, Matt. But I know as long as we stick together, there’s nothing that we can’t do. So why not go for it?”
Matt sat in silence, gave it some thought, staring out the window of the hospital room. Chris stared out the window, watching the car lights drive by on State Avenue. City lights were flickering out the window and the waterway called the Budd Inlet was barely visible in the night. Both Matt and Christina sat in silence for a moment. There were sounds of humming lights from electricity from the parking lot lights and the sounds of nurses walking up and down the hallway of the hospital at night, their shadows casting dark silhouettes under the crack of the room door. There were beeping noises from the machines in the hospital.
“All right. Let’s do it,” Matt said.
Matt put his arm around the shoulder of Christina. Christina wrapped her arms around his torso. The two embraced in a kiss, then turned and stared out the hospital window together and watched the hectic city life passing them by at midnight.
It was this night that both of their lives would change forever.
Chapter 5
First Night in the Cabin
Four