“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get angry, of course I enjoyed everyone.” I said apologetically to Cassandra. “It’s ok, I know you didn’t mean it. You’ve had a rough time. Ever since you……….” I could tell she had to catch herself before saying anything else. “It’s kind of chilly out here and I know you hate the cold so I’m gonna stay out here for a little while longer.” I said to her as I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea that we were best friends now. “Okay.” She said as she kissed me on my forehead before going back in to the house. Eww, did she really just put her lips on me? I immediately became disgusted.
Finally, peace and quiet so I thought. “Move over big duke.” Stan motioned as he had been sitting in his car talking on the phone for the longest. “I’m trying to relax here. Why don’t you take yo ass home?” I told him with aggravation. “I can’t go home, not just yet. You know I gotta poke and pick at you.” I rolled my eyes as I slowly moved over to let Stan sit next to me. “So who where you on the phone with for almost a decade?” I inquired of him as I could really care less about who he was talking to. “Jealous are we? I knew it, I knew it.” He said as he was rubbing his broad chest. “What the hell are you whining about now? You don’t know nothing.” I assured him as he was now caressing and not rubbing his chest anymore. “Kait, I knew you would come around after all these years and realized what you were missing.” Before I could catch myself I had let out a big hysterical laugh. I was laughing so hard that a tear came down my eye. “I’m sorry, but ya not my type at all.” I said as I was still chuckling. “Like hell. Look at this sexy bald head, these 6 pack abs, these arms. No one can resist Stan the man.” Again, I had let out a big laugh as his quote for getting girls was, “Stan the man.” “Please, boy, the only girls who can’t resist you are hood rats and chicken heads.” I used a form of sign language relating to a chicken with my hands so he would get the picture. We were rambling on and on not realizing how late it was getting. It felt good to have someone there that understood me. Even though he was older than me by a year, he always felt like he was the boss of me. I’ve known Stan since middle school and it didn’t help that he was my next door neighbor because he was always over. But, I loved having him as my buddy. He has been my shoulder to cry on, my ears to listen, and my protector. It’s almost as if he was my personal angel sent to protect me.
I was sitting trying to listen to Stan, but my mind started to wonder off. My mind had went back to my childhood which was something I kept blocked. I couldn’t understand why this happened to me and not anyone else. Not even Stan knows. Even if he did know he never mentioned it or made notation that he knew. I wondered why it happened to me or what I could have done differently to prevent it. As I grew silent, I felt some sort of discomfort in my chest. I wasn’t sure what it was I just knew that it was hurting me. I rubbed my hands across my face and felt the wetness in which I thought it was raining, but in reality I was crying. The tightness in my chest was still there, but it started to ease up as I felt a firmness of warmth wrapped around me. “What’s wrong, Kait?” Stan whispered to me with concern as he rubbed my back gently to calm me down. “Nothing, it’s nothing.” I said as I wiped my eyes swiftly with my hands. “Well, it doesn’t seem like nothing. You went from laughing and talking to crying in just seconds. C’mon, you know you can talk to me about anything.” I looked at him and could tell he was genuine with his words. “I can’t tell you, I just can’t.” I shook my head and stood up as I was ready for him to stop questioning me. “Why? We’ve never kept secrets from each other. We’ve always shared everything with each other. The good, the bad, the happy and the sad. So, don’t lie to me and say that it’s nothing.” He said. “STAN! Just leave it alone okay. PLEASE!” I replied back in a very angry tone. At this time Cassandra had made her way to the porch looking concerned about me, but disappointed towards Stan. “Stanley, it’s been a long day. I think you should go home now and try to visit another time, okay?” She said to him. “I’m sorry, Kait. I didn’t mean to make you upset. Mrs. Thomas I apologize to you also for disturbing your home.” I could tell by the look in his eyes as he walked towards his car that he was truly sorry, but at the same time I knew our conversation wasn’t over.
As the night carried on, I was ready to get a good night’s sleep. I was heading upstairs to my bedroom until I heard footsteps walking through the hallway in my direction. “You know your father wanted to be here, but he still feels like he has to be at the office all the time even after retirement.” She stated as if I really cared if that bastard was here or not. “Whatever.” At this point my response went back to simple words or simple gestures. “Hey?” I turned around and said to her before heading to my room. “Yes?” Cassandra said. “Why didn’t you come and visit me?” I asked. She stared at me with the look on her face as if I knew the answer to that question already. “Kait, I just didn’t want to see you like that. I wanted you to get better so that you could come home.” Even though her answer wasn’t what I wanted I agreed with a nod again and continued towards my old room.
It felt good to be out of that place and in a home, but this wasn’t a happy home. In fact this place is much worse than the crazy house. I knew if I stayed here it would only cause problems between me and Eric. He and I never really got along since day one. I ask myself all the time, “Why did I have to get adopted by this family?” My question was never answered, and I was still left feeling miserable, but I wasn’t gonna look at the past and have a pity party. I was going to focus on the future and make sure that my kindness isn’t taken as a weakness anymore.
Chapter 2
I could feel the brightness of the sun shining down on me as I was walking on the soft green grass. It was such a pretty day; the birds were chirping and the butterflies were flapping their bright colored wings. Before I could take another deep breath to inhale this beautiful sunny day, it suddenly became dark. I looked up at the sky to try and see what happened to the sun, but I couldn’t see anything. Also, there was no one else outside but me; this was very strange. This was scary so I ran into the house as fast as I could and locked the door behind me. As I was leaning up against the door, I thought I heard a knock. I started walking towards the steps just thinking it was in my head until I heard two knocks again. I wasn’t sure who was knocking because I didn’t see anyone outside. So, I just ignored it and started walking up the steps. Before I could make it any further I heard a loud BOOM behind me. I was scared to see what it was, but I couldn’t resist the temptation. I turned around and saw a dark shadowy figure. I couldn’t tell if it was a person, yet alone a human. I could see this figure coming towards me so I ran as fast as I could up the steps hoping that I could get away. As I reached the top step, it grabbed and pulled me down. I was face to face with this creature now. It looked at me with hell in its eyes feeling satisfied that it had captured me. I wanted to scream, I wanted to run, I wanted to fight back, but nothing. The shadowy figure then pulled back and raised its hands in a charging form, the floor started to shake. The shake got harder, harder and harder. “WAKE UP, Kaitlyn! C’mon baby wake up! Kaitlyn! Kaitlyn!” I heard labored screaming in my ears. When I realized that I was looking at Cassandra, I let out a deep breath of relief and realized it was only a dream.
I didn’t sleep worth crap last night. I really wanted to stay in bed all day, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I heard a knock at my door as I knew who it was already. “Come in.” I stated as I knew it was Cassandra. “Hey, how are you doing this morning?” A deep voice said. To my surprise it was Eric. “Oh, I’m doing okay.” I said still feeling restless. “You know I wanted to be here when you got home, but there was a few emergencies that had to be taken care of at the office.” He said. “Eric, you don’t have to explain anything to me. You’re grown.” I said with a hint of cynicism “Kaitlyn, I don’t want this to be unpleasant, okay. Now upon your release, the doctor put me and your mother in charge. So, I want nothing but respect from you.” He said with a stern tone. Are you serious right now? Did he really just say that? “Well, I’ll just move out so I won’t have to abide by YOUR RULES.” I replied back hard-heartedly. “Kaitlyn, you don’t get it do you? C’mon you’re not that stupid.” Do you see what I mean by him being a bastard? At this point I was done talking to him. “You’re not stable. Until the doctor declares you mentally stable,