Tom Stoppard

Jumpers


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(GEORGE is not dressed for a party. Flannels and shabby smoking jacket, hair awry, his expression and manner signifying remonstrance. The JUMPERS persevere, doggedly helping each other to do back-flips, etc.) I have a complaint. These people are supposed to be incredible and I’m not even astonished. I am not faintly surprised. In fact, not only can I sing better than they can jump, I can probably jump higher than they can sing.

      GEORGE: For God’s sake. It’s after two a.m.

      (She turns to the presumed source of music.)

      DOTTY: Give me a C.

      (GEORGE goes as far as to touch her arm. She turns on him with sudden obliterating fury.) It’s my bloody party, George! (GEORGE leaves.) (A JUMPER flips himself into a standing position in mid-stage.) (Equable again.) I can do that. (A SECOND JUMPER joins the first.) And that. (A THIRD JUMPER leaps on to the shoulders of the first two.) I can’t do that, but my belief is unshakeable, so get off. (To the unseen musicians.) I’ll do the one about the moon. I’m sure you know it. (A word about DOTTY’s SONG. The musicians attempt to follow her but are thwarted by her inability to distinguish between one moon-song and another, and by her habit of singing the words of one to the tune of another. The music gamely keeps switching tracks, but DOTTY keeps double-crossing it.)

      (Sings.) Shine on, shine on, harvest moon I want to spoon To my honey I’ll croon love’s June Or July——

      —No, that’s not it——

      (Sings.) Shine on, shine on silvery moon I used to sigh In June or July How high the——

      —No, you’ve gone wrong again——

      (Sings.) moon, you saw me standing alone—— (The last six words have fortuitously combined the words and tune of ‘Blue Moon’.) That’s it, that’s it! (Now confident, she starts to play the chanteuse, strolling in and out among the dogged JUMPERS, moving upstage of them and turning.)

      (Sings.) Blue moon You saw me standing alone Without a dream in my heart It must have been moonglow Way up in the Blue Moon You saw me standing——

      No, no——

      (Shouts at JUMPERS.) All right, I believe you!—you’re incredible! And now for another song. (From now until their act is terminated by events, the JUMPERS are assembling themselves into a human pyramid composed thus: SIX JUMPERS in three-two-one formation, flanked by the other two standing on their hands at the pyramid’s base. When the pyramid is complete it hides DOTTY from view.)

      (Sings.) You saw me standing in June January, Allegheny, Moon or July——

      (Jeers.) Jumpers I’ve had—yellow, I’ve had them all! Incredible, barely credible, credible and all too bloody likely——When I say jump, jump! (From her tone now it should be apparent that DOTTY, who may have appeared pleasantly drunk, is actually breaking up mentally. And from her position in the near-dark outside the JUMPERS’ light, it should be possible to believe that DOTTY is responsible for what happens next—which is: A gun shot. ONE JUMPER, bottow row, second from left, is blown out of the pyramid. He falls downstage, leaving the rest of the pyramid intact. The music has stopped. DOTTY, chanteuse, walks through the gap in the pyramid.) (The shot JUMPER is at her feet. He starts to move, dying, pulling himself up against DOTTY’s legs. She looks at him in surprise as he crawls up her body. His blood is on her dress. She holds him under his arms, and looks around in a bewildered way. She whimpers.) Archie…. (The pyramid has been defying gravity for these few seconds. Now it slowly collapses into the dark, imploding on the missing part, and rolling and separating, out of sight, leaving only the white spot. DOTTY does not move, holding the JUMPER.)

      ARCHIE (voice only):… (The Party hubbub comes back, at a higher pitch.) Quiet please…. The party is over…

      A DRUNK (sings): It’s time to call it a day… (This sets off a ripple of applause and cheers. The party noise dies to silence. The light contracts to a spot on DOTTY and the JUMPER, eerily. Frozen time, DOTTY still has not moved.)

      DOTTY: Archie…

      ARCHIE (off): Oh dear!

      DOTTY: Archie…

      ARCHIE (off): Just keep him out of sight till morning. I’ll be back.

      DOTTY: Archie…

      ARCHIE (off): Hush… I’ll be back at eight o’clock. (Around her, the flat assembles itself, BEDROOM, STUDY, HALL. The white spot remains—on the SCREEN now: but it is changing in character, and becomes a map of the moon photographed from a satellite… the familiar pitted circle. At the same time is heard the low tone of the TELEVISION VOICE, too low to admit comprehension. The picture changes to a close up of the moon’s surface. We are watching a television programme about something that has happened on the moon. The picture changes several times—an astronaut, a rocket, a moon-vehicle, etc. The television set in the bedroom is on. DOTTY is standing in the Bedroom. She hasn’t moved at all. She is dressed in a blood-stained party frock, holding up a corpse dressed in yellow trousers and singlet. She is composed, looking about her, clearly trying to decide what to do with the body. In the STUDY, GEORGE is working at the desk, adding to a pile of manuscript. The front door opens, CROUCH enters, using a master key. He is not wearing the white coat now, but a grey overall as worn by janitors. He is limping slightly. He is singing quietly to himself… ‘Gonna make a sentimental journey… gonna put my heart at ease… gonna take a sentimental journey…’ DOTTY has heard him. She turns down the sound of the TV, using the remote control device.)

      DOTTY: Darling!…

      CROUCH: It’s Crouch, Madam.

      CROUCH continues and exits to kitchen. DOTTY sits down on the bed, the corpse slumped over her knees. She glances at the TV. She turns up the volume.)

      TV VOICE: —in a tight spot. And so in the crippled space capsule, Captain Scott is on his way back to earth, the first Englishman to reach the moon, but his triumph will be overshadowed by the memory of Astronaut Oates, a tiny receding figure waving forlornly from the featureless wastes of the lunar landscape.

      (DOTTY changes the channel. On the SCREEN: a big Procession in the streets of London, military in tone (brass band music) but celebratory: for five seconds. DOTTY changes the channel. A commercial: for three seconds. DOTTY changes the channel. The Moon Programme again.) —which followed the discovery that the damage on impact had severely reduced the thrust of the rockets that are fired for take-off. Millions of viewers saw the two astronauts struggling at the foot of the ladder until Oates was knocked to the ground by his commanding officer…. Captain Scott has maintained radio silence since pulling up the ladder and closing the hatch with the remark, ‘I am going up now. I may be gone for some time.’ (DOTTY changes channel. The Procession on Screen. Military music. She looks gloomily, helplessly at the corpse. She notes the blood on her dress. She takes the dress off. CROUCH enters from the Kitchen, carrying a bin of rubbish and several empty champagne bottles. DOTTY hears the kitchen door. She turns the TV sound down low.)

      DOTTY: What time is it, Crouch?

      CROUCH: Nearly nine o’clock, Madam.

      (CROUCH leaves by the Front Door as the SECRETARY enters. The SECRETARY hurries in, in the act of taking off her overcoat and hat. CROUCH lets himself out, closing the Front Door. The SECRETARY enters the Study, closes the door behind her, hangs up her hat and coat on a hook on the downstage side of the wardrobe, sits down at her desk, and arranges her notebook and pencil. GEORGE has continued to write without looking up.)

      DOTTY (very quietly): Help! (Slightly louder.) Help! (GEORGE looks up and stares thoughtfully at the audience (into the mirror). He looks down again and continues to write. The Bedroom BLACKS OUT. GEORGE stops