Really?
Captain Montgomerie.
And I'm thinking of going into Parliament at the next election.
Lady Frederick.
It appears to be a very delightful pastime to govern the British nation, dignified without being laborious.
Captain Montgomerie.
Lady Frederick, although I've been in the service I have rather a good head for business, and I hate beating about the bush. I wanted to ask you to marry me.
Lady Frederick.
It's nice of you not to make a fuss about it. I'm very much obliged but I'm afraid I can't.
Captain Montgomerie.
Why not?
Lady Frederick.
Well, you see, I don't know you.
Captain Montgomerie.
We could spend the beginning of our married life so usefully in making one another's acquaintance.
Lady Frederick.
It would be rather late in the day then to come to the conclusion that we couldn't bear the sight of one another.
Captain Montgomerie.
Shall I send my banker's book so that you may see that my antecedents are respectable and my circumstances—such as to inspire affection.
Lady Frederick.
I have no doubt it would be very interesting—but not to me.
[She makes as if to go.
Captain Montgomerie.
Ah, don't go yet. Won't you give me some reason?
Lady Frederick.
If you insist. I'm not in the least in love with you.
Captain Montgomerie.
D'you think that much matters?
Lady Frederick.
You're a friend of Gerald's, and he says you're a very good sort. But I really can't marry every one that Gerald rather likes.
Captain Montgomerie.
He said he'd put in a good word for me.
Lady Frederick.
If I ever marry again it shall be to please myself, not to please my brother.
Captain Montgomerie.
I hope I shall induce you to alter your mind.
Lady Frederick.
I'm afraid I can give you no hope of that.
Captain Montgomerie.
You know, when I determine to do a thing, I generally do it.
Lady Frederick.
That sounds very like a threat.
Captain Montgomerie.
You may take it as such if you please.
Lady Frederick.
And you've made up your mind that you're going to marry me?
Captain Montgomerie.
Quite.
Lady Frederick.
Well, I've made up mine that you shan't. So we're quits.
Captain Montgomerie.
Why don't you talk to your brother about it?
Lady Frederick.
Because it's no business of his.
Captain Montgomerie.
Isn't it? Ask him!
Lady Frederick.
What do you mean by that?
Captain Montgomerie.
Ask him? Good-night.
Lady Frederick.
Good-night. [He goes out. Lady Frederick goes to the French window that leads to the terrace and calls.] Gerald!
Gerald.
Hulloa!
[He appears and comes into the room.
Lady Frederick.
Did you know that Captain Montgomerie was going to propose to me?
Gerald.
Yes.
Lady Frederick.
Is there any reason why I should marry him?
Gerald.
Only that I owe him nine hundred pounds.
Lady Frederick.
[Aghast.] Oh, why didn't you tell me?
Gerald.
You were so worried, I couldn't. Oh, I've been such a fool. I tried to make a coup for Rose's sake.
Lady Frederick.
Is it a gambling debt?
Gerald.
Yes.
Lady Frederick.
[Ironically.] What they call a debt of honour?
Gerald.
I must pay it the day after to-morrow without fail.
Lady Frederick.
But that's the day my two bills fall due. And if you don't?
Gerald.
I shall have to send in my papers, and I shall lose Rosie. And then I shall blow out my silly brains.
Lady Frederick.
But who is the man?
Gerald.
He's the son of Aaron Levitzki, the money-lender.
Lady Frederick.
[Half-comic, half-aghast.] Oh lord!
END OF THE FIRST ACT
THE SECOND ACT
The scene is the same as in Act I. Admiral Carlisle is sleeping in an armchair with a handkerchief over his face. Rose is sitting on a grandfather's chair, and Gerald is leaning over the back.
Rose.
Isn't papa a perfectly adorable chaperon?
[The Admiral snores.
Gerald.
Perfectly.
[A pause.
Rose.
I've started fifteen topics of conversation in the last quarter of an hour, Gerald.
Gerald.
[Smiling.] Have you?
Rose.
You always agree with me, and there's an end of it. So I have to rack my brains again.
Gerald.
All you say is so very wise and sensible. Of course I agree.
Rose.
I wonder if you'll think me sensible