For God's sake he has thrown himself into the Seine. Oh, God! Oh, God!
Omnes. He's in the river!
American. [At table Right.] What a noisy place this is.
[Townsman at center throws off his coat and is unbuttoning his vest when his wife seizes him.]
Townswoman. [Center.] [Whimpering.] Aristide, remember you have a wife and children.
Townsman. That is why I want to do it.
Townswoman. Aristide, I'll jump in after you—as true as I live I'll jump in after you.
Townsman. [Slowly puts his coat on again.] Then I won't do it. [Goes with her into the crowd.]
A Voice. Get the life buoy. [Willing hands try to unloosen the life buoy, but it sticks.]
Another Voice. Let that life buoy alone. Don't you see the sign "Do not touch"?
A Man. The buoy is no good. It will not work.
Another Man. Of course not. It's city property.
Cocotte [shuddering]. I can't look at it. [Comes back to her table.]
A Woman. Look! He's come up! Over there!
Child. I can't see.
Townswoman. My little heart of gold [to her husband]. Why don't you lift him up? Don't you hear that the child can't see? [Townsman takes the child on his shoulder.]
Young Man [coming back to table]. These people are utterly heartless. It is revolting.
American [loudly]. I'll bet twenty dollars he drowns. Who'll take the bet? Twenty dollars.
Young Man. Are you a man or a beast?
American. Young man, better shut your mouth. [Fills his glass.]
Young Man. Does no one hear know the meaning of Altruism?
Artist. Altruism! Ha, ha! [Laughs scornfully.] Love of one's neighbor. God preserve mankind from Altruism!
Cocotte. What do you mean? You are not in earnest?
Artist. In dead earnest. [Some one in the crowd brings a boat hook and reaches down into the river.]
American. I'll bet twenty-five dollars that he doesn't drown—thirty dollars! [Disgustedly, seeing that no one takes him up.] Tightwads!
Artist. Life is like that. One man's success is another man's failure. He who sacrifices himself for an idea is a hero. He who sacrifices himself for a fellow man is a fool.
Young Man [theatrically]. No, it is the highest, the noblest of instincts. That is why my heart bleeds when I see all these people stand indifferently by while a fellow man is drowning. No one jumps in after him—
American. Jump in yourself, young man, jump in yourself.
Young Man [center]. It is different with me, I am with a lady—it wouldn't be right.
American. Nobody will bet. This is a hell of a bunch. They ought to see one of our nigger lynchings. [Strokes the dog.] Poor Molly! She is so nervous. Things like this get her all excited.
[Two Policemen enter.]
First Policeman. Look at the mob. Something is liable to happen there.
Second Policeman. Isn't it forbidden for such a mob to gather on the dock?
First Policeman. Sure, it's against the law. Why shouldn't it be?
Second Policeman [shaking their heads]. This is no place for us. [Exit Left.]
Artist [to the Young Man]. Does it begin to dawn on you that true love of one's neighbor would not only be monotonous but unbearable as well.
Young Man. Out there a man is drowning—and you stand there moralizing.
Artist. Why not? We read a dozen suicides every day. [x to Chair Left.] Yet we go home and eat our dinner with undiminished relish. Why then sentimentalize over a drowning beggar? I wouldn't rescue a man who had fallen into the water much less one who had jumped in.
Young Man [passionately]. Sir—I despise you! [Goes into the crowd.]
[A man has succeeded in prying up the life buoy, now he throws it into the water with the warning cry "Look out."]
Artist. Love of one's neighbor is a mask. A mask that people wear to hide from themselves their real faces.
American [x to Artist Left]. No, I don't agree with you. I am strong for love of one's neighbor. Indeed, the Bible tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Oh, I am very strong for it. I go to Church on Sundays in the U. S. A. I never touch a drop—in the U. S. A.
Voice. The life buoy is sinking.
Another Voice. That's why they call it a life buoy. [Laughter.]
Cocotte [sympathetically]. How interestingly you talk. I love Americans.
American. We have two kinds of neighborly love back home. Neighborly love that makes for entertaining and dancing, and neighborly love that you read about next day in the newspapers.
Omnes [Workingman who has just entered.] [Right.] What's the matter here? [Elbows his way through the crowd.] Make way there! Let me through! [Throws off coat, tightens his belt, spits in his hand and jumps into the water.] [Great excitement.]
Young Man [center]. [Ecstatically.] A hero! A hero!
American [loudly but indifferently]. I'll bet sixty dollars that both of them drown!—Seventy! Seventy-five! [Contemptuously.] I can't get a bet around here. I'm going back to America.
[The Artist goes into the crowd.]
Cocotte [at table Left, alone with American]. Going back so soon?
American. As soon as I have seen Paris. Wouldn't you like to show me the town? I'll meet you to-morrow at four in front of the Opera House.
Cocotte. I'll be there. I like Americans.
The Mob [cheering]. He's got him! Hurrah! [The pole is outstretched.]
American. I'd like to know how much longer that waiter means to keep my dog waiting for her order of liver. [x to table Right.]
Young Man [comes down to table, joyfully]. He is saved; thank God he is saved. Weren't you sorry at all when that poor wretch jumped into the river?
American. Young man, is it my river?
The Mob [cheering again]. Hurrah! [Great excitement.]
[The Workingman and the Beggar are dragged dripping out of the water. They help the Beggar to a chair.]
Workingman [center]. [Shaking himself.] That was no easy job.
A Woman [left, center]. Take care what you are doing. You are wetting my whole dress.
Beggar. [Left.] [Whimpering.] Oh!—Oh!—Oh!—
Young Man [left]. [Shaking the Workingman's hand.] You are a noble fellow. I saw how brave you were.
Workingman [business like]. Did you? Then give me your name and address.
Young Man [gives him a card]. Jules Leboeof, Rue d'Hauteville.
Workingman. Who else saw it?
Beggar. Oh! Oh! Oh!
Workingman. Shut your mouth. Your turn comes next. Who else saw me save him?
Townsman. [R. C.] Aristide Beaurepard, Rue de Lagny, a14.