smooth my’ rugged heart, and there
Engrave thy rev’rend law and fear;
Or make a new one, since the old
Is saplesse grown,
And a much fitter stone
To hide my dust, then thee to hold.
17. SINNE.
LORD, with what care hast thou begirt us round!
Parents first season us: then schoolmasters
Deliver us to laws; they send us bound
To rules of reason, holy messengers,
Pulpits and sundayes, sorrow dogging sinne,
Afflictions sorted, anguish of all sizes,
Fine nets and stratagems to catch us in,
Bibles laid open, millions of surprises,
Blessings beforehand, tyes of gratefulnesse,
The sound of glorie ringing in our eares;
Without, our shame; within, our consciences;
Angels and grace, eternall hopes and fears.
Yet all these fences and their whole aray.
One cunning bosome-sinne blows quite away.
18. AFFLICTION.
WHEN first thou didst entice to thee my heart,
I thought the service brave:
So many joyes I writ down for my part,
Besides what I might have
Out of my stock of naturall delights,
Augmented with thy gracious benefits.
I looked on thy furniture so fine,
And made it fine to me;
Thy glorious household-stuffe did me entwine,
And ’tice me unto thee.
Such starres I counted mine: both heav’n and earth
Payd me my wages in a world of mirth.
What pleasures could I want, whose King I served,
Where joyes my fellows were?
Thus argu’d into hopes, my thoughts reserved
No place for grief or fear;
Therefore my sudden soul caught at the place,
And made her youth and fiercenesse seek thy face:
At first thou gav’st me milk and sweetnesses;
I had my wish and way:
My dayes were straw’d with flow’rs and happinesse;
There was no moneth but May.
But with my yeares sorrow did twist and grow,
And made a partie unawares for wo.
My flesh began unto my soul in pain,
Sicknesses cleave my bones,
Consuming agues dwell in ev’ry vein,
And tune my breath to grones:
Sorrow was all my soul; I scarce beleeved,
Till grief did tell me roundly, that I lived.
When I got health, thou took’st away my life,
And more; for my friends die:
My mirth and edge was lost; a blunted knife
Was of more use then I.
Thus thinne and lean without a fence or friend,
I was blown through with ev’ry storm and winde.
Whereas my birth and spirit rather took
The way that takes the town;
Thou didst betray me to a lingring book,
And wrap me in a gown.
I was entangled in the world of strife,
Before I had the power to change my life.
Yet, for I threatened oft the siege to raise,
Not simpring all mine age,
Thou often didst with academick praise
Melt and dissolve my rage.
I took thy sweetened pill, till I came neare;
I could not go away, nor persevere.
Yet lest perchance I should too happie be
In my unhappinesse
Turning my purge to food, thou throwest me
Into more sicknesses.
Thus doth thy power cross-bias me, not making
Thine own gift good, yet me from my ways taking.
Now I am here, what thou wilt do with me
None of my books will show:
I reade, and sigh, and wish I were a tree;
For sure then I should grow
To fruit or shade: at least some bird would trust
Her household to me, and I should be just.
Yet, though thou troublest me, I must be meek;
In weaknesse must be stout.
Well, I will change the service, and go seek
Some other master out.
Ah my deare God! though I am clean forgot,
Let me not love thee, if I love thee not.
19. REPENTANCE.
LORD, I confesse my sinne is great;
Great is my sinne. Oh! gently treat
With thy quick flow’r, thy momentarie bloom;
Whose life still pressing
Is one undressing,
A steadie aiming at a tombe.
Man’s age is two houres work, or three;
Each day doth round about us see.
Thus are we to delights: but we are all
To sorrows old,
If life be told
From what life feeleth, Adam’s fall.
Oh let thy height of mercie then
Compassionate short-breathed men,
Cut me not off for my most foul transgression:
I do confesse
My foolishnesse;
My God, accept of my confession.
Sweeten at length this bitter bowl,
Which thou hast pour’d into my soul;
Thy wormwood turn to health, windes to fair weather,
For if thou stay,
I and this day,
As we did rise we die together.
When thou for sinne rebukest man,
Forthwith he waxeth wo and wan:
Bitternesse