Mark Twain

The Complete Works of Mark Twain


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what it’s cracked up to be. It’s just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was dead all the time. Now these clothes suits me, and this bar’l suits me, and I ain’t ever going to shake ‘em any more. Tom, I wouldn’t ever got into all this trouble if it hadn’t ‘a’ ben for that money; now you just take my sheer of it along with your’n, and gimme a ten-center sometimes — not many times, becuz I don’t give a dern for a thing ‘thout it’s tollable hard to git — and you go and beg off for me with the widder.”

      “Oh, Huck, you know I can’t do that. ‘Tain’t fair; and besides if you’ll try this thing just a while longer you’ll come to like it.”

      “Like it! Yes — the way I’d like a hot stove if I was to set on it long enough. No, Tom, I won’t be rich, and I won’t live in them cussed smothery houses. I like the woods, and the river, and hogsheads, and I’ll stick to ‘em, too. Blame it all! just as we’d got guns, and a cave, and all just fixed to rob, here this dern foolishness has got to come up and spile it all!”

      Tom saw his opportunity —

      “Lookyhere, Huck, being rich ain’t going to keep me back from turning robber.”

      “No! Oh, good-licks; are you in real dead-wood earnest, Tom?”

      “Just as dead earnest as I’m sitting here. But Huck, we can’t let you into the gang if you ain’t respectable, you know.”

      Huck’s joy was quenched.

      “Can’t let me in, Tom? Didn’t you let me go for a pirate?”

      “Yes, but that’s different. A robber is more high-toned than what a pirate is — as a general thing. In most countries they’re awful high up in the nobility — dukes and such.”

      “Now, Tom, hain’t you always ben friendly to me? You wouldn’t shet me out, would you, Tom? You wouldn’t do that, now, WOULD you, Tom?”

      “Huck, I wouldn’t want to, and I DON’T want to — but what would people say? Why, they’d say, ‘Mph! Tom Sawyer’s Gang! pretty low characters in it!’ They’d mean you, Huck. You wouldn’t like that, and I wouldn’t.”

      Huck was silent for some time, engaged in a mental struggle. Finally he said:

      “Well, I’ll go back to the widder for a month and tackle it and see if I can come to stand it, if you’ll let me b’long to the gang, Tom.”

      “All right, Huck, it’s a whiz! Come along, old chap, and I’ll ask the widow to let up on you a little, Huck.”

      “Will you, Tom — now will you? That’s good. If she’ll let up on some of the roughest things, I’ll smoke private and cuss private, and crowd through or bust. When you going to start the gang and turn robbers?”

      “Oh, right off. We’ll get the boys together and have the initiation tonight, maybe.”

      “Have the which?”

      “Have the initiation.”

      “What’s that?”

      “It’s to swear to stand by one another, and never tell the gang’s secrets, even if you’re chopped all to flinders, and kill anybody and all his family that hurts one of the gang.”

      “That’s gay — that’s mighty gay, Tom, I tell you.”

      “Well, I bet it is. And all that swearing’s got to be done at midnight, in the lonesomest, awfulest place you can find — a ha’nted house is the best, but they’re all ripped up now.”

      “Well, midnight’s good, anyway, Tom.”

      “Yes, so it is. And you’ve got to swear on a coffin, and sign it with blood.”

      “Now, that’s something LIKE! Why, it’s a million times bullier than pirating. I’ll stick to the widder till I rot, Tom; and if I git to be a reg’lar ripper of a robber, and everybody talking ‘bout it, I reckon she’ll be proud she snaked me in out of the wet.”

      CONCLUSION

       Table of Contents

      SO endeth this chronicle. It being strictly a history of a BOY, it must stop here; the story could not go much further without becoming the history of a MAN. When one writes a novel about grown people, he knows exactly where to stop — that is, with a marriage; but when he writes of juveniles, he must stop where he best can.

      Most of the characters that perform in this book still live, and are prosperous and happy. Some day it may seem worth while to take up the story of the younger ones again and see what sort of men and women they turned out to be; therefore it will be wisest not to reveal any of that part of their lives at present.

      THE PRINCE AND THE PAUPER

      Main TOC

       Chapter I. The birth of the Prince and the Pauper.

       Chapter II. Tom’s early life.

       Chapter III. Tom’s meeting with the Prince.

       Chapter IV. The Prince’s troubles begin.

       Chapter V. Tom as a patrician.

       Chapter VI. Tom receives instructions.

       Chapter VII. Tom’s first royal dinner.

       Chapter VIII. The question of the Seal.

       Chapter IX. The river pageant.

       Chapter X. The Prince in the toils.

       Chapter XI. At Guildhall.

       Chapter XII. The Prince and his deliverer.

       Chapter XIII. The disappearance of the Prince.

       Chapter XIV. ‘Le Roi est mort — vive le Roi.’

       Chapter XV. Tom as King.

       Chapter XVI. The State Dinner.