on the road, forcing him to decelerate considerably.
His gaze slips behind him once again and....
Lord Almighty! A missile launcher! Have they a fucking missile launcher?
"No, Father, this is the worst! Pray for me... and if you can't, at least pray for my soul..."
In front, at the end of the curves, he glimpses a straight. Logic would dictate that they use it there. At a glance he has only a handful of seconds left.
"Don't say that, you don't have to give up!"
"Okay, Father, I swear I'll try, but in the meantime wave to the guys for me and if the line drops...don't worry, sometimes missiles do."
The straightaway comes right on time and along with it he glimpses the buggers adjusting their aim as well.
"Either I pull a rabbit out of my hat now, or I'm toast! Speaking of rabbits: how the heck did Bugs Bunny always save himself?"
Chapter 1
The Awakening
Immemorial, lying on that double bed, my legs tangled in the sheets, I stare up at the ceiling made slightly opaque by time and, motionless with my arms outstretched, I try to recapture the memories of the previous night, faded like an echo from my mind.
The fierce rays of light filtering through the curtains are stabs in the eyes, but every muscle categorically refuses to respond to my calls, leaving me there to endure the torment, alone with my questions...
Red.
Long black hair.
Music.
It's just brief flashes that light up quickly in awareness, but the rest is still dark.
Driin! Driin!
The phone: cursed infernal device with an obnoxious sound.
Driin! Driin!
Stop it! Stop it!
Driin! Driin!
The ringing enters me and continues undaunted to echo. My whole head throbs following the incessant rhythm of the trill...
Damn it! Why don't you explode?
Driin...
Now the noise is softer, more distant, almost imperceptible.
The phone has stopped, but then why do I hear it anyway?
It's not real, that's why!
Yes, it's just the memory ringing and calling me, taking me back to the time when it all began...
Home
"Hello? Who is this?" I mumble with a slurred mouth.
"Hello Davide, this is Roberto, am I disturbing you?"
"No, no...tell me." Lie. At nine o'clock on a Sunday morning I'd kill an altar boy too!
"I just couldn't wait to tell you something incredible!" Typical euphoria: yesterday I met...
"Yesterday I met..." ... the most beautiful woman in the world!
"The most beautiful woman in the world!" Obvious. As is Roberto, by the way.
"It's... it's that I can't wait anymore! This time she's the one, she's... she's gorgeous!" Ouch! He stutters as well.
"And how... augh...," I yawn, " ... how did you meet her?"
Obvious question. I look around. Coffee. I'm craving, needing a liter of coffee.
"Do you remember I had made friends with that group of people in a chat room?"
"Yes..."
I catch a pot with cold coffee in it, put it on the stove, turn on the gas and wait.
"Well, we decided to meet at a club they attend often."
"And in this group you met the suave maiden?"
The coffee is now hot and I reach for the pot.
"Ouch!" Hot as hell, the damn thing!
I use a potholder and pour it into a glass.
"Not really, the only two girls in the group are...let's just say nice!"
That means: a real stinker.
"Then I guess I'm lost. Sorry, but when does the fairy show up?"
A teaspoon of sugar, I turn and taste.
"Blah!" It really sucks! Nothing like freshly brewed coffee. Idiots, me and my laziness.
"Keep calm, I don't want you to lose the taste." No mercy for sleep, though?
I listen silently, straining to swallow my dose of caffeine posing as a coffee substitute.
"When we entered the place, I thought that if they frequented such a place, it meant they were completely out of their minds! The decor resembled a catacomb, with coffin-shaped tables, skulls everywhere, and violent Heavy Metal music overwhelming you, all topped off with a rich and varied fauna of tattooed lunatics with serial killer faces."
"Um... a great place for a hot date! How did you survive?"
"All appearance, trust me. The bigger and more pierced they are, the more tame they are. Anyway, aside from the initial discomfort, after a couple of beers everything seemed a little more normal to me."
Thankfully, he called. Now I was hungry, too.
"The evening was going on quietly, nothing exciting, but it was going on. Then suddenly I noticed a girl sitting alone at a small table not far away. She was staring at me insistently. Beautiful, trust me! The great thing was that, with mischievous glances, she was doing nothing but inviting me to go to her. My heart rate tripled, I could feel the adrenaline whipping every inch of my body and I didn't give a damn what the others at the table were saying, I just thought I had to go to her and kiss her on the lips. She had fully bewitched me!"
I don't think it should be that hard to bewitch a drunk with the hormones of a revved up Lamborghini.
"I have no doubt to think so! So what did you do?"
Where had I put the cookies? Ah, there they are!
"I gathered my courage and did the first thing that popped into my head: I got up under the guise of going to the bathroom. I walked by her table and then flashed her my best smile!"
"Did she reciprocate?"
Cookies without salt? How the heck did I get that wrong?
"More than that! I've never seen a better smile! On the way to the bathroom I was practically flying! But now hold on tight here comes the best part of the story. When I came out of the bathroom, she was standing, leaning against a pillar, with her arms crossed waiting for me. You can imagine the look on my face when I saw her."
"Dumbstruck. Undoubtedly."
"Well, sort of, yes. I'm sure you would have been dumbfounded, too, in my place. She had on a decidedly short and very, very tight dress that highlighted her every curve perfectly in keeping with the universe. Trust me when I tell you that more generous than that, God could not have been!"
"Interesting...then what happened?"
"Then the first gaffe. She stares at me and says: are you going to seduce me with your hidden talents? I there and then don't understand and look at her curious about the strange question. She points at my pants and I realize that I had forgotten to unbutton my fly! Immediately I dissolve into a thousand excuses, while I try in every way to close the zipper, which was also jammed. At that point she stops me and says: don't worry, you did it.
How? What?
"Did you get it? What do you mean you got it? Don't tell me that..." He's mocking me! No doubt about it!
"It means she threw herself at me and while we were kissing she