makes you come alive? I'm not referring to taking your dream holiday or watching your team win the game. I'm talking about a why that moves up the food chain from being about you to being about something bigger than you. It's about connecting with what you feel passionate about, knowing that when you focus your attention and effort on something that puts a fire in your belly — that draws on your innate talents — you will have an invaluable and unique influence on all those your work impacts.
There's no reason to feel daunted. You don't have to declare at this point that you want to cure cancer, invent the next iPhone or solve the world's energy problems (though you might). This is about doing something that lights a spark and inspires you in some way. In fact the word ‘inspire’ comes from the Latin inspirare, which means ‘to breathe or blow into’. So when you think about something that really lights you up, you will feel a sense of ‘new life’ breathing … awakening … within you.
For instance, my friend Ron Kaufman has a passion for uplifting service. In fact he wrote a book with that title. Yet his passion for service is far more than a commercial venture. Ron lives and breathes what it means to be of service in the world — it permeates every part of his life. You cannot be in Ron's presence without feeling lifted up and cared for. As Ron shared on my podcast, his whole life is about putting the heart of others at the heart of what he does.
So what about you — what do you care about? If you don't feel a burning passion that's totally fine. In which case, just think about what makes you feel that bit more alive than you might otherwise. Whatever it is … move towards it. Passion is just a word. It's the energy you feel that matters.
When I returned to study Psychology in my late 20s I had no idea my work would evolve as it has — to coaching, keynote speaking, writing books and sharing insights as a ‘media commentator’. Yet as I have discovered, when you move in a direction that calls to you — that gives you energy vs sapping it from you — new horizons of possibility open up that you could never have imagined had you stayed where you were. As Martin Luther King Jr once said, ‘You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.’
WHAT ARE YOUR INNATE STRENGTHS?
In The Element, Sir Ken Robinson wrote that our element is the point at which natural talent and skill meets personal passion. When people are in their ‘element’ they are both more productive and successful.
Your task here is to identify the things you've always been good at, sometimes making you wonder why other people find them so hard. Are you able to see patterns and opportunities amid complexity and uncertainty that others can't? Are you an amazing listener who is able to take in different perspectives and synthesise a way forward? Are you naturally creative, adept at finding ‘out of the box solutions’? Are you a natural-born rebel with an ability to identify where the status quo needs disrupting? Are you brilliant in the details, able to execute with a precision that others find tedious? Are you a natural deal-maker, technocrat, diplomat or entrepreneur?
Of course you may not have sharpened the strengths to the extent required to achieve your boldest goals. But that doesn't mean you lack anything but practice. The good news here is that most people do not aspire towards ambitions for which they have no real talent (and those who do tend to gravitate to televised talent shows).
The flipside is also true.
I've always been uncannily good at mental arithmetic. Maybe from my years working in a milk bar serving meat pies and making shakes, and later in pubs pouring beers, where I could add up the amount due faster in my head than on a register. But I've never had any interest in pursuing a career that involved focusing on numbers. As you might guess, people are my passion. That said, I'd have enjoyed being a professional singer — think Barbra Streisand meets Lady Gaga. But a marked absence of Barbra-Gaga-like talent meant that was not to be. While I did spring a surprise song on Andrew at our wedding, our kids will happily assure you their mother was never destined for the shortlist of A Star Is Born.
In this age of perfectionism, it's all too easy to get lured into the falsehood that you have to be ‘the best’ — the best consultant, the best sales rep, the best engineer, the best designer, the best writer. Not true! It's not about being the best but being your best. Does that mean you’ll sometimes wish you were better? Of course you will. But by letting go of comparisons and consistently giving the best you can on the good days and not-so-good, you’ll eventually arrive at a point that you’ll realise how little reason you ever had to doubt your one-of-a-kind value in your workplace and the world.
WHERE DOES YOUR EXPERTISE MAKE THE GREATEST IMPACT?
Knowing your strengths and where you can add the most value — through the application of your education, skills, knowledge and experience — can help you focus on the opportunities, roles and career paths where you are most likely to succeed and therefore find the greatest sense of accomplishment and contribution.
Too often we undervalue the expertise we naturally acquire over time. If you reframe the concept of adding value through the lens of ‘problem solving’, you can home in on where you can make the greatest impact for others — whether by offering solutions to problems or finding better ways to fulfil unmet needs (or, as Steve Jobs did, inventing technology that fills needs people didn't even know they had!).
It was this exercise that inspired me to start running my public Live Brave programs and women’s retreats (though with dancing and champagne, the word ‘retreat’ is probably not the best descriptor). While there are many great women's leadership and personal development programs available for people to attend all over the world, I just knew I could make a meaningful impact in an immersive program. I didn't do any market research; I just dived in. Following my intuition proved a good decision. Following yours will too.
WHAT DO YOU VALUE MOST DEEPLY AS A MEASURE OF SUCCESS?
Some can afford to give up the security of a salary to pursue a passion that doesn't pay (or at least not enough, soon enough). Many can't. But following the money and following your heart don't have to be mutually exclusive.
Chances are you have other values to consider — like giving your kids a great education or paying your mortgage — that prevent you from going full-time on something you're passionate about. But that doesn't mean you cannot still infuse your passion into your life in some way. Or that you can't treat it as a ‘side hustle’ in the shorter term while you get your financial house in order to fund the shortfall if you were to transition to it full time.
In the meantime, there is nothing stopping you from bringing more passion to what you do right now. While your current job may be a ‘means to an end’, all work holds intrinsic value. So if you can't change what you're doing anytime soon, change how you're doing it. By shifting the frame in which you view your current role, you can profoundly shift your experience of it. Doing so enables you to be the kind of person others want to be around. That in itself is meaningful.
You don't have to be on course to becoming a Nobel Laureate to be living a noble life. What you do each day doesn't matter near as much as how you do it — the attitude you bring and the energy you spread. In thinking about how you can make a bigger difference, don't ignore the small daily differences you can make which, over time, add up to big ones.
In my podcast conversation with Alicia Tillman, Chief Marketing Officer at SAP, she shared how when she's facing a decision she will often put herself in the shoes of her ‘future self’ and ask herself, ‘What would my future self want me to do right now?’ Her answers reflect her deepest values, but also tap into her courage. She said this technique has never failed to move her forward.
Bold action can reshape your life, but unless it's guided by a clear sense of purpose, it can steer your life in a direction that leaves you wanting for something more. Much more. Simply