Mike Waes Van

Peeves


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in the game, but just to level-up my irritation. I hated that it was working, but I was determined to not let her win.

      I slammed my book shut and closed my eyes. I leaned back against the wall behind me and did … nothing. The thing about Lucy is that she wants attention. And I knew the best way to annoy her was to totally ignore her.

      And it worked. Lucy shifted so she was facing me, hoping the game noise would make me react. And although I was screaming on the inside, I refused to let her get a rise out of me. This was the sort of standoff we had at least once a day. I usually lost because … well, because I’m me. But this time I was distracted because I realised if I concentrated, I could hear Dad through the wall. “Clarity Labs is now refocusing our brand to appeal to the parents of the modern Millennial market. Chemicals are out of favour and natural remedies are trending.” I hadn’t heard him say that before. It made me think of Suzie. I pressed my ear to the wall.

      But now that I wasn’t actively agitated by her game, Lucy was getting restless. She tends to do that when no one is paying attention to her. When Dad stopped talking, I opened my eyes again – and Lucy was gone. It had only been a minute, but she’d lost her patience and taken off down the hall. The only thing that kept me calm was the fact that you can’t get anywhere in this building without a security card. She couldn’t actually leave this hallway.

      So I was stunned when I saw her swipe a card at the security pad beside the first set of doors. She paused for a moment to flip me off before disappearing. She must have stolen Dad’s security card! This wasn’t the first time she’d taken something (or “borrowed”, as she puts it) without asking. It’d been happening more and more since we moved. If something was missing, I knew who took it, and I knew it would take for ever to get it back. I gave up asking a long time ago. Usually I would just ransack her room to find it. But this was a whole new level of “borrowing”. This could get us both in real trouble.

      I knew I had to act quickly if I didn’t want Dad to find out. I looked around for help, but there was no one in the hall. My leg was shaking and my nerves were frayed and I just couldn’t be alone. Without thinking, I launched myself at the door before it shut.

      The door closed behind me with an audible CLICK that echoed down the halls of the actual labs of Clarity Labs like a warning. I was suddenly terrified that I would get caught. I had zero excuses ready. No one would buy that I just got lost. And I started to worry what sort of punishment would be handed out to underage trespassers. One side of the hallway was lined with heavy metal doors with little glass windows in them. The other side was broken up by glass-walled rooms where lab technicians went about their business on all sorts of sophisticated equipment. Even though no one seemed to notice (or care) that I was there, I crouched down out of sight anyway. I crept down the hall as slowly and soundlessly as possible until I was right under a sign reading, “Authorised Personnel Only Beyond This Point”. The big, bold, red and black letters were so aggressive I was afraid to step past it. Instead, I leaned forward and whispered urgently, “Lucy?!” Her name bounced down the echo chamber of a hallway, but I didn’t hear a response. Annoyed, I took a deep breath and stepped forward, breaking the invisible line where it was okay to be authorised or not, knowing full well this was a bad idea – an awful idea, actually – but also knowing, too, a far worse idea would be letting Lucy get in trouble the only time Dad ever told me to keep an eye on her.

      But then a click-clacking of heels coming closer stopped me dead in my tracks. With the echoes, I couldn’t tell if it was coming from ahead of me or from behind. I didn’t know what to do or where to go. Click-clack, click-clack. A closet. I spied a closet. I rattled the handle, but it buzzed to let me know it would remain locked without a security card. Click-clack, click-clack. I backed up into a nearby doorframe and froze. Trying to be invisible, but fully knowing I was so about to be busted.

      And then … just when I was sure I was about to be headed to jail or reform school, a hand reached out and grabbed me and yanked me into the room on the other side of the door. I nearly screamed but Lucy clamped a hand over my mouth and gently closed the door until it was open just a crack so she could keep an eye out.

      We both listened as the click-clacking came closer, and I peeked over her shoulder as a power-suited executive and an older man in a rumpled white lab coat came into view. “Ms Salt … Ms Salt, a moment please!” I’d later find out that this was Dr Hugo Zanker, the lead research scientist at Clarity Labs. He was an unpredictable man with perpetually bloodshot eyes and a twitchy demeanour. “We need to start human trials!” he said with a desperate gleam in his eye.

      The power suit turned sharply. It was Pauline Salt, CEO of Clarity Labs. I recognised her from her portrait in the front lobby. Her dark, angular face contrasted sharply with a pristinely tailored suit that was the same colour as her last name. “Dr Zanker, the future of Clarity Labs depends on me to make all the right decisions at all the right times. If we rush towards human trials, the FDA might start questioning the origin of Project PVZ.”

      “But the rats are inconclusive,” Dr Zanker pleaded. “How will I know if I’ve made the proper alterations to the formula without human—”

      Ms Salt silenced him with a finger. Zanker was desperate to argue, but Ms Salt was having none of it. Everything about her just screamed, This discussion is over. But instead, she didn’t even have to raise her voice. She just straightened her suit and spoke with the authority of a press release. “PVZ is an ‘all-natural’ anti-anxiety treatment intended to temporarily absorb and dispose of irritations to create calmer, consistent consumers for Clarity Labs. One purpose. One formula. No previous version. End of product description.”

      “But …” continued Dr Zanker, to no avail.

      “Plausible deniability is our friend, Dr Zanker,” said Pauline Salt, just before she leaned forward and added in a conspiratorial tone, “You and I both know that if the FDA starts poking around, we won’t survive Plum Island.”

      Pauline Salt then turned and click-clacked away while Dr Zanker shuffled back the way they had come, arguing with himself as he went.

      Lucy let the door click shut and we both exhaled a sigh of relief.

      “You’re gonna get us in so much trouble,” I said. “We really shouldn’t be here.” I grabbed for her arm, thinking we’d sneak our way back to the safety of that horrible metal bench. But she dodged and turned to explore the room we’d wandered into.

      “No one made you come after me.”

      “No one made you … be stupid,” was the best my frazzled brain could offer. She looked at me like “good one” and kept going. I didn’t know what else to do but follow her.

      The room was filled with dozens of cages that housed dozens of lab rats. In front of each cage hung different digital readings and handwritten charts.

      “Animal testing is so messed up,” she spun round to tell me. “If Dad wouldn’t lose his job, I’d totally set them all free right now.”

      “I don’t know. The little guys look okay to me.” And they did. No visible wounds. No extra limbs. No unidentifiable growths.

      “Whoa, what’s up with this one?” she said, pointing at one of the rats. It was freaking out. Shaking and squeaking and scurrying around in its cage like it was bothered by something that wasn’t there.

      We peered in and looked more closely at the rat. At first I thought that maybe it was just a little hyper, but then it started to seem like it was swatting at the air, like there was a bug in the cage that no one could see. Lucy stepped back and looked at the rest of the rats, suddenly realising … “A lot of them are acting that way.”

      And she was right. About half the rats in the place looked like they were going crazy.

      I picked up the handwritten chart hanging off the first rat’s cage. “Personal Vexation Zoners. PVZ.” Then I looked up at Lucy. “PVZ is what they were just talking about in the hall!” I dropped the chart and backed away. “Oh, this can’t be good. We really need to get out of here.”