was going to be hell being with her every day, knowing she was thinking about Berkeley, but it was something he had to do. He had to protect her. He told himself he wasn’t going to try to win her. He wasn’t acceptable, either. Someday he would have to watch her marry someone else.
But not now. And not Berkeley.
Emily woke early the next morning. It was Sunday, and both families would be attending a little country church. Martha would have been up early preparing a box dinner to eat at the church. She wasn’t sure if she was looking forward to seeing all her old neighbors or not.
She lay in bed listening to the soft voices coming from the other room. Lynnette was trying to keep Willa quiet, but it was impossible. The girl chattered nearly every waking moment.
Emily smiled as a few of the child’s words reached her. “But Aunt Emily…” and “…almost Christmas!” Not the kind of things to encourage an excitable little girl to additional sleep.
She heard doors open and close and guessed Lynnette had gone into the nursery to get Trevor. After a few minutes of Willa’s hushed chatter the little group went downstairs.
Emily considered getting up and joining them for breakfast, but she hated breakfast. In fact, just thinking about it made her feel queazy. And sharing the table with the two little ones last night didn’t make her eager to repeat the experience. Oh, they were lovely children; in fact, they were adorable. But they were more than she could handle this early in the morning.
“What I have to look forward to,” she muttered, then wished she hadn’t. She wasn’t sure yet.
She sat up in bed and fought back a wave of dizziness. “It’s too early to get up,” she muttered, holding her head. But the spell passed quickly.
After slipping into her robe, she crossed the room in her bare feet. She would write to Anson. She would address it in care of his family; they would see that he got it. Somehow she would figure out how to get the letter to the post office.
With pen and paper she told him how much she loved him and missed him. She tried to relate how much she wanted them to be together, how she would be there with him if it were possible.
She didn’t tell him about the baby. She needed to be sure then tell him in person. She didn’t know how he would react. He had never mentioned marriage, though it had seemed to be understood between them. Still, it wasn’t something she should tell him in a letter.
She did tell him, however, that she was confident he would soon be released, and, if not for her family’s obstinacy, they would be together.
She wrote that she was staying with her brother, where the ranch was located, and how, from a certain direction, it was almost hidden by a hill. She described a spot where a trail behind the barn curved around the hillside. She promised to walk there every morning and think of him.
An hour later the carefully worded letter was finished. She left it on the desk and dressed and fixed her hair. When she was ready to go downstairs, she reread the letter, hoping it said what she needed it to, and folded and sealed it.
How was she to get it to town? Christian had said she was forbidden to contact Anson. Lynnette wasn’t likely to defy her husband. Besides, she was so burdened with children she was next to no help. Martha or her husband, Perry? Too loyal to Christian.
Jake. His connection with her family was certainly less than his parents’. Would he sneak it into town for her? Did she dare ask him? He had made it clear, in spite of his apology, what he thought of Anson. Still he was her best hope.
She slipped the letter into the bodice of her dress, checking herself in the mirror to make sure it didn’t show. Before she turned away she caught a glimpse of her face and stopped. Her eyes looked almost haunted. She forced a smile to her lips and blinked away the fear. If not for the constant worry, she could believe that being in love was good for her complexion. She almost glowed.
She started to turn toward the door, laughing off the silly thought when something else occurred to her. She hadn’t imagined the look on Jake’s face last night. He had feelings for her. Could she use them? She stared at her reflection. It seemed so dishonest, so…cruel. Yet.
She pictured herself on her wedding day, walking down the aisle while the guests snickered at her rounded belly. She couldn’t wait until her family came to their senses. With a seductive wink at her reflection, she turned away.
The open stairway was situated in the center of the house, and Emily could look down on both the living room and dining room as she descended. Lynnette was in the living room retying a bow at the back of Willa’s dress while the girl chattered an explanation of how it had come undone. Trevor sat on Martha’s lap watching his sister with devoted attention.
Lynnette had just turned the little girl around and kissed her on the cheek when Emily entered the room. “Emily, dear,” she said, moving to greet her. “We were going to let you sleep. Of course, we’d love to have you join us.”
“Thanks,” she said as Willa came to take her hand. “I’ll go along and keep my niece occupied. I’ll see if I can make her giggle aloud in church.”
“No. Not me. I’ll make you giggle.”
Their tickling match was interrupted by Christian’s announcement that the buggy was ready. Wrapped in coats and hats, the women and children crowded into the seat while the men mounted horses to ride alongside.
Emily caught a glimpse of Jake as she settled Trevor on her lap, but he rode enough behind that she didn’t see him again until they arrived. He helped his mother out of the buggy and, with his father, escorted her into the little stone church.
Through the service and the lunch that followed, she was never successful at catching his eye. She was conscious always of the stiff letter tucked inside her bodice.
Finally the families began to repack their dishes, gather up their children and start for home. Both Willa and Trevor were asleep by the time they reached the ranch. Lynnette carried Trevor up to his bed while Christian carried Willa inside. She awoke as soon as the warm air hit her. Christian left her in Emily’s care and went out to take care of the horses.
“Let’s play checkers,” Willa suggested.
Emily agreed. There was little else she could do. Jake was no doubt helping with the horses, but if she went out to find him now, she would also find Christian. Jake would probably spend the rest of the day close to his family. Her chances of delivering the letter were almost nonexistent.
By the time Willa had the game board set up, Lynnette joined them in the living room. She offered to play the winner, giving Emily an excuse to beg off. Willa didn’t seem to mind, and Emily, pleading a headache, escaped to her room.
Upstairs Emily pulled the letter from the bodice of her dress. How was she going to get it to Jake? Of course, even if she found a way, there was no guarantee he would agree to take it to the post office.
Feeling depressed, she dropped the letter onto her desk and removed her dress and shoes. She hadn’t intended to sleep, but now that she was alone she found herself feeling increasingly tired. In a very short time she was asleep and didn’t awaken until nearly supper time.
Martha was given the afternoon off on Sundays, and Emily found Lynnette in the kitchen preparing the evening meal. Both children were there offering their own brands of help. Emily gathered Trevor into her arms, but he decided to be shy and cried for his mother. Emily handed him to Lynnette and took over the cooking instead.
In short order the simple meal was ready, and they moved into the dining room to set the table and wait for Christian.
“I’m glad you came with us this morning, Emily,” Lynnette said as they laid out plates and forks. “It went a long way to relieving Christian’s mind.”
“Was he afraid I’d run away while you were gone?”
Lynnette laughed, startling her. “No, I don’t know as