Aldivan Teixeira Torres

The Dark Night Of The Soul


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a century ago the Xukuru tribes were at war because of the ruses of a sorcerer called Kualopu. For a long time, there were many battles fought and thus the Xukuru nation was in danger of disappear. Thinking about it a kind sorcerer decide to intervene. He made a pact with the forces of the Universe, offering his life in exchange for the end of the war. After that pact a miracle occurred. The sorcerer was killed and the war ended. The sorcerer paid the price and peace was restored. From that day on the mountain of Ororuba became sacred and the cave of despair, located on its top, received miraculous powers capable of turning any dream into reality, provided the dreams are not selfish. It is the second time I have got the pleasure to live on the mountain.

      —Very interesting. You say that this is the second time you go there. How was the first time?

      — It was a year ago. I was a poor dreamer in search of knowing and controlling my “Opposing forces”. With that objective I climbed the mountain, reached the top, met the guardian (a miraculous being knowing profound mysteries), accomplished challenges, met the ghost, the youth and the little boy, and finally I entered the cave. This last experience changed my life completely, because I became the seer, a being able to surmount the time and space barriers and omniscient through its visions. With my new powers, I could understand the most profound feelings and intentions of other people. Meanwhile, I still cannot say that I am ready. Life is an eternal learning in which the cave was only a stage. Now I am ready for new challenges and therefore my life is back. This time I want to understand my dark night of the soul, the significance of everything I have lived two years ago. I believe I will find answers in the mountain or at least I will begin a new journey.

      —Your story is really impressive. I believe you, because I could feel your sincerity. I only did not understand one thing, what is the meaning of this expression, dark night of the soul?

      —At this moment, I myself don’t know the complete meaning of dark night. But I can give a basic notion, it is the moment we detach ourselves from Universe benign forces to only think of our vanities. This moment is critical, being able to destroy or to save a human being’s soul, depending of the case.

      —I think I understand. I have already passed through the dark night when I was unfaithful to my wife with ladies of the night. When she left me, I realized the true value, I repented and we were able make up. From then on, I was a new man.

      —What happened to you I can guarantee it was a lapse. Indeed, the dark night is more profound than we can imagine. I hope to find the answers that I so much need.

      —Good luck with your search. I can see you an educated lad, intelligent and determined. Determined people always reach their objectives.

      —Thank you. Now I need to meditate and have a rest. Don’t wake me up until we have reached our destination.

       Aurelio reassures me and then I concentrate on my inner, forgetting all the preoccupations. Gradually, the body relaxes and the extra-sensorial senses are awakened. Soon I start seeing distorted and confusing images. A while later, rocked by the strength of the thoughts, I see myself in an enormous plain by all sides. I am exactly in the middle of this place. From the right side emerges a scorching and strong sun. It cleanses all my impurities and gives me a sensation of peace and freedom. At the same time, from the left side appears a thick and dark cloud, bringing a heavy atmosphere, full of negative feelings and thoughts. This force is capable of condemning all those nearby, those absorbed by its shadow. Next to it I feel guilty, even without having had a fair judgement. The two forces are getting near all the time, producing in me the meeting of the two “Opposing forces”, that some time ago it seemed I had controlled. Soon after, between the two forces, an angel appears and it carries on the face the mark of the word choice. I invoke it, and the shock between the two opposing forces stops, at least temporarily, leaving me a little more relaxed. Even so, I am not free of the possible interactions of the dark night, which it seems to be part of any and every individual. After the invocation, the angel, the sun, the dark cloud, the scenery, everything disappear and gradually I am becoming conscientious. Finally, I wake up. I feel I am in the same place, inside of a taxi in motion. What will all this mean? In order to find answers, I look out of the window and I see that I am almost at my destination. I am happy, I am closer to get some answers.

      Finally, the car arrives at the destination and stops. Immediately, I grab my suitcase and I get out with conviction. Leaving, I start to imagine all the aspects of the village center. At first sight, it seems very quiet and cosy just like the last time. I start going forward and some known people come to meet me, trying to help. I thank them and straight away we start chatting. After a short while, I say goodbye, using as an excuse important and urgent business at the mountain. The walk restarts, carrying the heavy suitcase and the undesirable preoccupations. What will await me after climbing the mountain for the second time? How would the dear guardian lady be? Those were some the questions filling my brain.

       I carry on walking and for the first time I feel tired. The circumstances make me stop for a while and again an anguish invades my being completely. What was happening to me? Where was the spirit, the faith and the energy of the adventurer, who started his dream a year ago? At that moment, everything made me believe that I was no longer the same person. Before total despair, I decide to analyse impartially the situation. In a short and intense period post-cave, situations quite adverse have occurred, which made me rethink about who I was. However, at that moment I conclude that it was necessary to return to myself, the dreamer. Without it, I would certainly not be able to face all the obstacles that perhaps separated me from fully understanding the dark night of the soul. Thinking about that, I inhale and exhale deeply searching for the energy capable of guiding me, and when I believe I have reached it, I walk again. At this moment, I feel already more relaxed and comforted, although I am only at the foot of the mountain.

      I walk a little away from the bottom and the voices of the mountain are starting to act. I feel confused and dizzy, because they are really strong. Like the other time, they try to persuade me to give up. Apart from the voices, my sixth sense is submitted to a sequence of images. In them, I see fire, pain, inhumane actions, betrayals, the meeting of the opposing forces and the dark night of the soul. For a moment, I lost conscience and I see myself in the Brazil colonial times. I see the beginning, the middle and end of everything. In this retrospective vision, I see the first contact of the innocent owners of Brazil, the Indians, with the foreigners that behind their amicable appearance hide their second intentions. They are welcomed, and without the hosts suspecting, they try in every way to find the riches. In their first attempt, they don’t find what they are looking for and withdraw. Later on, they come back and brutally enslave the Indians, explore their natural resources and this causes one the greatest ethnic massacres of all times. This represents the fire of the dark night of the soul, a fire that destroyed lives, dreams and hopes.

       At other moment I see myself in Nazis concentration camps, in the Second World War. In this vision, it is very well clear the aspect of the oppressors’ dark night, because they act with falsehood, cunning, cold and evil without limits. I am subjected to very strong scenes of violation of the human rights and this makes me burst into tears. How can there human beings, image of the Creator, be capable of such atrocities and with such hate? People like that, nationalists and prejudiced, that make Satan look like an angel indeed. This represents the pain of the dark night of the soul and is a path without return.

       A moment later, I am carried away to an explosion of vegetation, more precisely the amazon forest. I fly over the area and at a certain time I see a large clearing in the forest. I decide to land to investigate. With little surprise, I meet men with various type of tools, aiming at felling the greatest amount of trees possible, in an area which ought to be for environment conservation. The situation makes me cry again and I curse the source of power and wealth which are the cause of all this. In another place, not too far away, the dark night is completed with the indiscriminate killing of the fauna. I got enraged with the situation and ask myself: What right does mankind have to act in this way? We are not the owners of this world, but only passing guests that should respect it and preserve it. At this rate, we will not even have a future for the next generations. This represents